Curiouser and curiouser, we discovered that Sisyphus Autopsy not only still existed as a musical entity, but that they actually had agents - two rather effeminate, ex-acrobats (of all things) by the names of Steve Cherry and Dave Tindle. After the arrangements were made, Orlando and Gargantua were flown from their home in Manton, Michigan (where else?) to The Big Apple. No amount of mental preparation could've helped the Sacrum Torch staff to reconcile that initial meeting. First off, both Orlando and Gargantua are very large men. When asked how large, in fact, Orlando responded by saying: "roughly equivalent to the more massive model of Bob’s Big Boy." Second, they both sound like monsters, yet are more hyper-sensitive than the most volatile schoolgirl. Gargantua, for instance, demanded that all female staff leave his sight, lest he be "made berserk like that most perfect of animals The Grizzled Bear by the stench of their menses," while Orlando constantly complained about the air conditioning. That pretty much set the tone. Even still, they were very lenient when it came to hashing out the rights to their song catalog. In an eerie moment of tenderness, Orlando said that he wanted "nothing more than an awkward, yet firmly inspired man-hug" in exchange for them, while Gargantua was content with the bowl of candy-corn on the secretary's desk  (later, we called Steve and Dave and cut a financial deal). There are too many Sisyphus stories for me to detail here, but suffice it to say, I felt it my obligation to convey my knowledge of this very odd, yet nonetheless exhilarating band. I'm not saying you must love them, but regardless of your reaction, you'll have to admit - the world's a more interesting place with them around.