A brief return to Innocence
The jeep took us on a tour of the villages around the town, giving us a glimpse of the lives of the Karens. We stopped at a monastery at the foot of the picturesque Mount Zwegipan to pay respects to Da Mye Sayadaw, a monk famous throughout Kayin State for his social work. He is over 90 years old and was confined to his bed due to poor health. Yet, devotees streamed in continuously into the monastery to pay respect to him. It is a testimony of his exemplary conduct and virtue and a lifetime of selfless service to the people.
There is a pagoda at the summit of the mountain and everyday, devotees climb up the steep flight of stairs to offer dana. The compound outside the monastery was filled with an air of meditative peace and calm. It had a soothing effect on my mind; it is able to relax and for a rare moment, let go of all the worldly concerns that have been bothering it. Actually, it is not so difficult to be happy, it is right at the present moment and all you need to do is to embrace it.
The Lord Buddha’s teachings are down-to-earth and practical, but I seldom endeavored to implement it in my life. Instead, I tried very hard to be unhappy. My mind is like a whirlpool, sucking in the currents of the past while generating unreal frothy bubbles of the future. There is always some thing to ponder over, to reflect, to think about, to plan, to organize and to brood. It simply refuses to stop wandering. And all the while, it has been finding excuses to justify its inaptitude. I used to think the hectic schedule I have is not conducive to the practice of meditation. In reality, meditation does not take up much time while I can fritter hours away indulging in my own fantasies.
Spiritual cultivation is more important than the mundane work I’m doing for it is the key to happiness, now and ever. It brings happiness to oneself and to the people one associate or come in contact with, something no money or power in the world can buy. One’s extent of practice and cultivation can be readily assessed by one’s conduct, speech and thought. The sayadaws had lived a holy life pure in thought, speech and conduct according to the Buddha’s teachings and this is reflected in their simple disciplined life, the way they deal with the laity and the deep-seated calmness and loving-kindness they exude. They have no worries about the past or future. Real happiness comes from within and not without, you do not need a family, friends, material possessions, a career or lofty ideals to be happy.
The path is right in front of me, but I was unable to quell the unrest in my heart. I feel there is something left undone in my life and I must fulfill these personal obligations first. When I chose medicine over a scholarship to the States, I knew I have undertaken a moral responsibility. Unlike my more illustrious peers, I do not believe in the pursuit of academic excellence, a high-flying career, and those scientific and technological marvels that the medical profession is so obsessed with today. To me, medicine is something very personal. It is merely a tool employed to help those in need, to alleviate human suffering and a means to spread kindness and goodwill in the world. Sure, I can be a paediatrician or an ophthalmologist in the future, but these basic principles will still apply in the course of my work.
Medicine is so
commercialized today that it has become a commodity to be bought and sold. It is
no longer a service to the masses, but a luxury afforded only by the privileged
few, catered and fine-tuned to serve the whims and fancies of the rich. But
there will always be people who refuse to follow the majority in the quest for
money and glory – the doctors working in refugee camps along the Thai-Myanmar
border, the doctors who braved untold dangers to give medical care in the
war-wrecked towns of Afghanistan and the doctors battling against deadly viral
diseases in the jungles of Africa. I do not even dare to imagine I will be
following in their footsteps one day. Such great personal sacrifice and
dedication can be overwhelming for a young man still fighting to find a place in
society. My ideals are a refuge providing solace for a battered soul seeking a
brief respite from the harsh realities of life.