| sigh.. theres such a longing in my heart.. but i am unaware of how to fil it. what am i supposed to do? i wanna cut.. i wanna bleed.. but i wanna please.. i want to make brittany happy.. i doubt that will ever happen now.. look what ive done to her.. sigh.. i just wanna be happy.. but her at the same time.. so im caught in that balacne that will never be reached.. ................................. i want candy.. do do dod do do od do.. i want candy.. what has my life been redused to .. i waste my time in visual arts class with menaingless make werk projects that end up in my self realization im truely unhappy.. like normal.. on an alternate side note.. i found a new and inventive use for krazy glue.. cutting! i cut in the bathroom at lunch today.. its almost like altering a picture.. cut paste save.. no blood on my stuff.. so sall good. game set match... what the hell .. i need help. sitting here fantasizing bout te ways in which i can die.. yet never acting upon.. even tho if i were to act upon it.. i would never have to deal with the reprocusion.. hmm.. completely illogical if i do say so myself.. ... now that was random.. no logical sequence of events.. but i guess thats what happens when your mentally unstable.. and i undoubtably am.. you cant fight me on that one.. im completely off my rocker.. for the rest of this class i shall sit here in a dream state .. conciously picturing my many ways of possible suicide.. mmm ... what a warming thot.. my classroom window is open.. which is letting a chilling breeze in from outside.. causing me to feel ever so much more aware of my surroundings.. i sit.. motionless... until the bell rings to summon the next mindless drone to the coming block.. good story starter.. ill remember that fer later.. hmm.. i still want to die.. 1:17.......... 1:18.. yup.. still... 1:19.. going strong.. i sense a pattern..1:20.. 4 tries makes it a law.. i wanna die. |