Disclaimer: All standard disclaimers apply. None of the Rurouni Kenshin
characters belong to me. (Damn it!) Also, the title is taken from a Hong
Kong film and I acknowledge all rights of the associations associated
with it and again, the title is NOT MINE! Nothing here belongs to me
except the plot.




(Okie, this is me here, as in the writer. Oh dear, this fic is really
long, my longest ever. I've been dragging my feet for a few days now,
waiting for mad inspiration ..no no no! My muses are not Shishio or
Enishi. I know I've been kinda beating up on Kenshin but that's because
of his constant 'clueless' act. But it was a nice twist to have Yahiko
find them out, was wondering where'd he gone to. Well, by now I guess
those of you who are still reading (a thousand thanks for your patience)
probably suspect that the flower has something to do with this. My
explanation: Magic. And two totally unexpected characters as well. I'm
not giving away who they are; it just came to me last night as well. But
the ending is soon to come, probably in one or two more chapters. It's
been really fun. I'm gonna miss this.)




(v)
Will You Still Love Me?


Kaoru stared in horror at Yahiko before her gaze slid to Kenshin and
Megumi. "How long has this been going on?"

"Almost three weeks, nineteen days to be exact," Kenshin replied, toying
nervously with his braided hair.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Sano broke in, clearly upset.

"We didn't know how to ... ..."

"You could have just told us that Yahiko was not well!"

"What?!" Megumi, Yahiko and Kenshin gaped at Sano.

"Obviously the boy's gone ma-" Kaoru elbowed Sano out of the way and her
face assumed a motherly expression, full of maternal sympathy and
affection. Yahiko backed away in horror; it was almost scary to see busu
eyeing him that way. He almost preferred it when she was hitting him
over the head with her bokken.

"Yahiko is just a little stressed out, isn't he?" Kaoru cooed, advancing
on Yahiko. "There's a good deshi. Come to shishou ..."

"Kenshin!" The boy tugged frantically on the man's pink gi before
realising his error. "I mean, Megumi, tell them the truth!"

"Kuso, the boy's lost it. Yahiko, come here. We'll get Dr Genzai to cure
you." Sano reached for the boy only to have Megumi put out a firm hand
and stop him. There was a look of seriousness and apologetic sincerity
that unsettled Sano and turned him cold. It wasn't possible, what the
boy was raving about. Was it?

"Sessha thinks it is time we went back to the dojo and talked, de gozaru."

Sano's mouth dropped open in a striking imitation of Yahiko's initial
shock. From behind them came a gentle 'thump'. Kamiya Kaoru had passed out.

.................................

It took a total of three hours to explain the truth. Sano and Kaoru
would have done Aoshi proud; they had sat there and listened without so
much as twitching a muscle. But Sano turned noticeably green when
Kenshin had nicely explained that it wasn't so much that Megumi didn't
like him. But he, Himura Kenshin, simply didn't relish the idea of being
kissed by a man.

"So ...so all along, Kenshin's been in Megumi's body. And Megumi has
been in Kenshin's body," Kaoru repeated faintly after a long unbearable
silence. Yahiko quickly held up the smelling salts for her, keeping his
own nose pinched shut. Kaoru had met Sano on his way from her dojo and
had persuaded him to return, saying she would have a word with Kenshin.
Then they had seen him sneaking after Kenshin and Megumi. Instantly both
had decided to follow as well, to find out what really was going on.

"This is ridiculous!" Sano shouted. "Why didn't you tell us? When I
think back ..." Anger and frustration cut him off and he glowered at the
guilty pair. "I hope you enjoyed seeing me and Kaoru make fools of
ourselves!" With that, he stormed out.

"Sano wait!" Without a second thought Megumi leapt to her feet. "Sano,
come back!"

"Go after him, Megumi-donno. Kaoru-donno and I have to talk as well."
Kenshin nodded encouragingly and she waited no more. "Yahiko, if you
don't mind ..."

"Gladly," the boy quipped, handing the bottle of noxious fumes over.
Before he left, Yahiko looked awkwardly at Kaoru and then at Kenshin.
"Umm ...I won't tell anyone what happened today. Not even Tsubame."

"Arigatou Yahiko." He left and finally Kenshin was alone with Kaoru. Her
face was turned away from his, her eyes cast on the tatami mat. If he
didn't do something quickly Kenshin was frightened that he was going to
lose her. How to explain for the deception of the past few weeks? That
was a question to which he had no answer. He couldn't even hold her,
wasn't sure if she would be repelled by his touch. It wasn't even 'his
touch' anymore, Kenshin thought bitterly. He was trapped, isolated away
from Kaoru in every way possible.

Soft sniffles drew him out of his torment and he realised that she was
crying. "Don't cry, Kaoru-donno! Sessha didn't mean it! Sessha is sorry-"

"For what? What are you sorry for this time Kenshin? For not being
honest? For not trusting me to help you? For deceiving me? Which one of
the above are you sorry for?"

Kenshin blinked. Kaoru was shouting-Shouting-at him! Never before had he
ever seen her so livid. She was almost trembling in her rage. "Always,
always you keep me out of your problems. You refuse to let me help you.
Even after I poured out my feelings to you," her blue eyes pierced him,
"you still didn't tell me the truth!"

"Kaoru-donno, sessha ..."

"I've waited for you Kenshin. I've always been there for you, even when
you choose not to see me." The tears fell then, precious drops from her
heart. "I know that this time things are ...things are very strange but
if only you could have told me."

Kenshin hung his head, looking at the pale white hands on his lap.
Smooth and soft, without the calluses he was so used to. "I was afraid.
I didn't know what to do. I was hoping that the change would be
temporary. I didn't have a right to your love anymore Kaoru-donno."

Kaoru's breath caught and she sank back down on her knees. For the first
time, Kenshin had acknowledged her love. "Why not?" she asked, unthinkingly.

"Look at me. I'm a man stuck in a woman's body. I'm neither here nor
there. I love you with a man's heart and love but this body ...this body
does not permit any manifestations of that love," he said in a low
tormented voice. "What right did I have to confess my love in this
state? Could I demand that you love me as a woman? I wanted to wait,
wait until I was normal again."

She understood what he was saying, what he was feeling. Cautiously,
Kaoru reached out and touched his hand. It was technically Megumi's hand
but it was Kenshin who would feel that touch. He needed it. "Oh Kenshin.
Look at me," she whispered. Sad dark eyes that shimmered suspiciously
met hers. "I loved you when I knew you were Battousai, the Slayer of a
Thousand Men. I loved you when you were the innocent rurouni. I loved
you even when you set me aside and went to Kyoto. Through everything
that you have been, I loved you."

"Kaoru-donno ..."

"I still love you. Not this body, not your original body. I love you,
the spirit inside, the person." She raised the hand and held it against
her cheek, warming the cold fingers. "In a way, I'm glad this happened."

"Oro?"

The familiar exclamation warmed Kaoru and she couldn't help laughing
softly. "If you were in your own body and we were sitting face to face,
we wouldn't be having this conversation. Or the other one when you broke
Megumi-san's nail and almost scrubbed a hole in Yahiko's gi." Kenshin
gave a sheepish smile. "I was unsure of whether you loved me and I
talked about it, in front of you! And you encouraged me, saying that you
did have feelings for me, that you would learn to accept that I had
chosen you."

"I remember," he murmured.

"Just now, there were so many things, so many thoughts whirling in my
head. But above all, I remembered this. You encouraged me and told me,
indirectly, that you loved me too. I would not have known otherwise if
not for this change. I don't deny I'm angry that you didn't tell me but
I haven't changed my mind. I'll never change it."

Warmth suffused Kenshin's entire being. But they had to think of the
future. "Kaoru-donno, I mean, Kaoru," he amended hastily seeing the
frown that appeared, "it's not fair to you. What if I don't change back?
What if I'm destined to remain in Megumi-donno's body? You can never get
married, or get the husband you deserve."

"Kenshin no baka!" she scolded affectionately. "Did you not hear what I
just said?"

"I did Kaoru. I'm grateful and ...more thankful than you can know. But
we have to seriously consider the future as well," he said gently.
"Don't tell me you don't find it strange calling my name but having to
look at Megumi-donno's face and voice responding to you."

Kaoru was silent but she still kept his hand pressed to her face. "I
admit that part of me wishes you had confessed your love earlier, or
that I had forced this issue sooner. And it is extremely unnerving to
hear Megumi's voice when I am talking to you. And we can never have a
normal relationship."

Kenshin's heart sank. Of course she would reach that conclusion. What
other choice had there been? And yet there had been the faintest
lingering hope that ...

"I guess I'll just be a spinster for the rest of my life."

"What?"

"We'll just be two old spinsters living the rest of our lives together.
That is, if you don't fall in love with any man along the way," she said
with a wicked smile.

"Kaoru-donno, I resent that. I would not love another aside from you."
Her smile softened as Kenshin slowly brushed his fingers over her cheek.
"Only you. In this life, in the next, and the one after..."

Her smile wobbled as the tears rushed out. "Oh Kenshin," she cried,
burying her face in his shoulder. Kaoru didn't care that it was the
smell of Megumi that filled her senses. Inside this body of flesh and
bone was Kenshin. "How can I be so happy and so sad?"

"I don't know. I don't know," he murmured, slowly stroking her shining
black hair. By all counts he should have lost her. At the time when she
seemed furthest out of his reach, she had crossed the chasm and bound
herself to him. In the past he would have protested, citing her welfare,
her happiness, her naivety. No more, not ever again, Kenshin swore. He
had wasted their lives questioning his right to love her, the right for
their love to exist when it had already been there all along. Kaoru had
made her choice. She had given herself to him and she would be his from
now on. 'Although we can never have a relationship such that a husband
and wife can enjoy,' he thought sadly. But he should be grateful for her
love and sacrifice. For now he had her love, for now and always. It
would be enough. It was more than enough.

She stirred in his embrace, lifting her head. "Kenshin," she breathed.
"I know this is Megumi-san's body but ...but do you think you could...?"
Kaoru coloured, leaving the rest of the question unspoken. Just this
once, just this once to last them through the years. "Only this one time
...onegai..."

"Koishii," he whispered, voice rough with emotion and suppressed desire.
"Of course." Just this once, Megumi-donno would not mind. One kiss. Just
this one kiss.

As he bent his head, Kaoru's eyes closed partially but remained opened,
as did his. They wanted to savour this moment, this fleeting memory of
the only culmination of their love. When their lips touched Kaoru gasped
and Kenshin slipped his hand under her chin. "I love you, only you ..."

"Only you," she whispered against his mouth. "Always you." Hot tears ran
down Kaoru's cheeks and she didn't know whether they were hers or
Kenshin's.

.................................

"Sano, how long are you going to ignore me?"

God, it gave him shivers just to hear the familiar nuances and speech
patterns of Megumi in Kenshin's voice. "Go away!"

"I will not go away, Sano no baka! How dare you insinuate that I enjoyed
deceiving you? Do you think I liked it for a minute that I am in
Ken-san's body? If I wanted to know your secrets I would have bribed
Yahiko with free lunches and dinners for three months!" Megumi shouted
that last part, finally stopping. Brushing away the tears that had
gathered, the tears that he could not see because his back was to her,
Megumi's pride was finally reasserting itself. She had ran after him,
trailed him through town, begging him the entire time to speak to her
and now they were on the road to the border. She wondered if he was
walking just to get as far away from her as possible. 'Why wouldn't he?
You're a freak.' There, she had thought it, the one thing she had
struggled so hard not to admit. "Oh what's the use?" she muttered
angrily. Spinning on her heel before she broke down in front of him,
Megumi began the long trek home but Sano's low voice stopped her.

"We can talk here. There's nobody for miles around. Come on," he added
gruffly. Reluctantly she followed him to the shelter of a large tree
somewhere off the roadside. Sitting stiffly down on the ground, Megumi
noted that Sano chose to perch his lanky frame on a large root jutting
out from the ground.

"I'm not contagious you know. I don't think it passes," she said
bitterly. He looked stung and a little guilty before stubbornly
remaining where he was.

"Is-is everything that you guys told us true? This isn't a joke right?"
he asked.

"For the love of Kami-sama! I don't know why I'm wasting my time," she
burst out and shot to her feet. With surprising speed Sano's hand
latched onto her wrist. It was more his touch than his grip that
rendered her immobile.

"What do you expect me to say?! I don't deal with situations like this
all the time you know. I find it hard enough handling everyday
conversation with strangers," he said defensively.

"I'm not a stranger," Megumi said in a small voice.

He was messing things up, just like he knew he would. The whole time she
had been following him he had been trying to organise his thoughts,
tried to put things in perspective, tried to think of what to say. But
all he could do was feel. Anger, confusion, vulnerability, love. Love.
"Kitsune, I know that but you hafta admit it, this is strange. You and
Kenshin pulling this little switcheroo stunt, it IS strange."

"I know that you moron," she shot back, irritated. Megumi didn't notice
the relief that flashed across Sano's eyes. She had no idea how close
she had been to tears and that he had purposely drawn her ire to stop
her from crying.

"Please sit down again. You're right, we gotta talk this out."

She did as he asked, gratified to discover that he still wanted to
remain in her presence. "Sanosuke, just so you know ...I didn't like it
when you confided all those things to me. It felt like I was
eavesdropping, listening to something meant for Kenshin's ears, not
mine." Sano opened his mouth to speak but she motioned for him to let
her continue. "But ...but I'm glad that I heard those things." Now that
she had started, she couldn't stop. "I never knew that I was so cruel to
you, so insensitive to your feelings. I'm sorry for that."

"It's okay Kitsune. You don't hafta apologise," Sano muttered, looking
down. The Fox was saying sorry! Emotions roiled in his chest and Sano
had to beat back the urge to take her in his arms. Sure, that was
Kenshin sitting there but it was Megumi as well.

"Yes I do. I'm also sorry that you feel so embarrassed. That is my fault
too; I should have confessed everything to you. And I ..." she glanced
up into warm brown eyes and swiftly looked back down. This last part was
the hardest. "Sano, I meant everything I said. You thought I was Kenshin
but those words were all mine. All from me."

Sano stared. Was she serious? 'Ahou, of course she is serious.' And he
did remember her words. Slowly they clicked and made sense. The insight
that 'Kenshin' had offered him on Megumi's psyche and character, the
adamant reassurance that she did have feelings for him ... "You mean,
you really do love me?"

Her whisper was so soft he had to strain to catch it. "Hai. I do."

"Megumi ..."

"I think I would have told you that night when...when I fainted. I did
want to let you know. But I waited until it was too late!" she wailed
and burst into tears. Without a second thought Sano went to her,
gathering that limp shaking form protectively in his arms. "I'm sorry,
this is all my fault. I waited too long. I was so stupid, so selfish, so
scared ..."

"Shush, Megumi. I was scared too, nothin' wrong with that." He quieted
her as best he could, holding her tight against him. "Please don't cry,
I love you, I love you," he murmured almost unconsciously.

At once she stilled and Sano thought his words had gotten through. Then
she pushed against him, trying to get away but he wouldn't let her go.
"You can't mean that. Look at me, I'm Kenshin! I'm trapped in his body!
Do you want to still hold hands with me? Stay in the same house with me?
You can't marry me and we sure as hell can't have anything to do with
each other."

"Quit yelling. Let me think," he said calmly and her eyes widened in
surprise at his sensible rebuke. Long fingers flexed on her upper arms
and she could sense the emotional conflict he was going through. She
should make it easier on him, she had no right to ask him for a
commitment that neither of them could make. It would kill her to say it
but she had no choice ...

"Megumi, I do love you. Just because you are in the body of my best
friend doesn't mean that I'll stop loving you."

"But eventually-"

"I don't think I'll stop, Fox. Not even in the long run." Megumi's mouth
dropped open and he chuckled. "It isn't often that I get you speechless
like this. Better enjoy it while it lasts. But seriously Megumi," his
voice turned husky and warm light grew in his eyes, "I have been in love
with you for the longest time. I don't know when I started but I know
that I haven't stopped. I've tried to, Kami knows I've tried but you've
got me. Only I never knew that I had you too. Both of us were too scared
of getting hurt to be honest and right now we're paying the price for
it. But I love you, you the person who constantly squabbles with me and
who gets me all riled up. You make me want to improve myself. Nobody,
man or woman, had ever made me wanna be a better person. Not since my
captain."

He was right. She couldn't have uttered a word then to save her life. In
rapt silence Megumi listened, letting his words fall on her, fall into
her heart and mind. As a woman he had made her so insecure at times. Now
that she was a man he was doing his best to put her at ease, to protect
her. It was completely ironic but she had never felt so loved as she did
at that moment.

"I don't care what people say, what society says. I'll hold your hand
anytime, any day. We can't get married, we sure can't sleep with each
other," he said with a look of such profound regret that she laughed,
feeling the same regret as he did. "I'll stay wherever you want to stay.
I guess we'll just be two old men living in the same house if you and
Kenshin don't change bodies back."

She turned away, the long red bangs obscuring her face from his. "Sano,
are you sure? You don't have to do this. I don't doubt that you love me
but we are talking a whole lifetime here. If you can't handle this, and
I don't blame you, it would be kinder if you just told me now. I don't
want you to regret giving me your word in later years. We're very young;
a lot can happen. I don't want to be a burden ..." Oh God, she didn't
want him to view her as a problem. She didn't want to be around to see
in his eyes that his love for her was gone, finally conquered by the
impossibilities and frustrations of such a relationship.

"You aren't a burden! Don't say that!" He shook her gently with fierce
tenderness. "And it's not a rash boy speaking to you here. I know I
haven't given you any stunning displays of maturity, I'm often too hasty
for my good and more than half the time I am the ahou that Saitou calls
me but I know what I'm sayin' here. I do love you and I wanna be with
you. It's not a pretty woman that I want, it's you. Can you get that
through your head, Kitsune?"

She was tearing by now but he continued. He had to make sure she
understood him perfectly. "I've had women before, lotsa them."

"I don't need to know that Sagara Sanosuke," she interrupted stiffly.
"Your sordid affairs do not interest me."

"Well, it should interest you that I haven't had one sordid affair since
I met you. Never wanted anyone else anymore. I want you." Brushing the
red hair back, he looked intently into her eyes. "I'm ready to do what
it takes to be with you, Megumi. Do you have the strength to stay with me?"

He was asking her if she, she who was so proud of appearing strong and
independent, had the strength to be with him. Did she? Searchingly she
looked up at his face. He was so dear to her, she would not forget this
man, he was already a part of her. Warm fingers stroked her cheek,
tucking stray strands of hair behind her ears. "Even if I don't change
back...?"

"Even if. Can you bear that? I gave my heart to you a long time ago but
I don't want to give you my life and look forward to having one with you
only to have you run out on me halfway. I don't think I could take it."
He tried to inject some humour into that last part but she could hear
the slight quiver in his voice, the fear. Sanosuke was intensely loyal
and committed to his friends. How much more would he be to a lover. And
as strong as he was, physically and mentally, he was fragile as well. He
needed someone who could protect him too.

If she thought about it, if she reasoned it through, she could come up
with a thousand reasons not to be with him. But not one of those reasons
could have induced her to walk away from him.

"I won't leave you," she whispered, folding her arms around him. His
sigh of relief was audible even as he crushed her against him. "I can't
and I won't. This is crazy, but I love you so much it's all that matters
to me."

"Me too Kitsune, me too," he murmured. He drew back his head, one hand
already sliding to the back of hers. She was in Kenshin's body but he
wanted to kiss her so badly he ached with it. And the smouldering desire
he saw in her eyes wasn't helping things either. "Kenshin will kill me
if I kiss you."

"I'll Hiten Mitsuryugi Ryu him if he touches one hair on your head,"
Megumi shot back and they shared a chuckle. "But...I suppose, just one
kiss ...we don't have to tell him or Kaoru-san."

"Just once," Sano muttered, rubbing his thumb over her lower lip. It
still felt weird, touching her, touching this body that was hers yet not
hers. But Kenshin would not have felt so right in his arms (God forbid),
nor could anyone else but Megumi and Megumi alone. Some things remained
although the outer form was altered. "Anything you say, my Fox," he
teased, lowering his face to hers.

It felt like lightning, their kiss. The returning stroke of her mouth on
his was overwhelming, too heady to be remembered as anything else but
pure sensation. Fingers clutched at his hair and she moaned. "Sano ..."

"Megumi," he whispered against her lips. God, how was he going to keep
to just one kiss? Yet it was all they could have. If having more meant
not having her, than Sano knew he would rather do without.

"Sano ...help ..."

What? Alarmed, he pulled back and saw that her eyes were closed, her
mouth slightly parted. Just like the other night. "Megumi!"

Her eyes opened a little, just enough for him to see the panic and fear
in them. What was happening? "It's okay, I'm here," he assured her,
holding her tightly against him. A wild hope struck him then. Could it
be possible that she was changing back? "Megumi?"

She didn't respond and her hold on him had loosened as well. Megumi was
unconscious.

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