Standard disclaimers:
The rights of the lyrics and music of 'Frozen' belong to Madonna, Patrick
Leonard and most likely some big name companies unknown to an ignorant
like
me =^^=. The rights of 'Ruroken' belong to the creator, Watsuki Nobihiro,
and
some more big name companies like Sony and Shueisha.
So please don't sue me for this silly peace of fanfiction =^^=, you already
have most of my money.
Mara about this song-fic:
This is my first attempt to write a song-fic and it is my first attempt
to
write about Aoshi/Misao. YEAH! I WROTE A MISAO/AOSHI-FANFIC!!!!
erm, some OOCness.
I wanted to present Misao more mature.... I hope not too much.
Great thanks goes to Firuze Khanume and Morgane for pre-reading,
bearing my mistakes, giving helpful hints and advice,......
FROZEN
I am woken up by the warm sunlight shining on my face, the warmth and
the
sudden light make me blink and look around.
It is still early in the morning, the birds are singing their cheerful
spring-songs,
but besides that the house is silent.
Sunlight? Birds singing?
The day promises to be great!
Enthusiastically I jump up and rip the window open.
The morning is as wonderful as I imagined:
The first flowers begin to bloom in the garden and the trees show the
first
signs of green, and I breath deeply. The air is refreshing cold and clear.
Nature freed itself from the effects of the winter, beginning a new life.
If HE could only be like this. Starting anew. Getting rid of all the
the sad memories of the last year, start living again.
You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen
When your heart's not open
But he isn't like this. He spends his whole time thinking about the past
instead of looking ahead into the future. All he is doing is to sit in
the
temple, staring into a far away nothing... into a nothing only he could
see.
Even when he is here, at home, at the Aoiya, all he does is staring
through everything in front of him. He doesn't see the nearest things,
things offered directly to him, and refuses them without even noticing
it.
We all are concerned about him, care for him, but does he even notice
it?
No, he just takes without giving back.
Frustrated I slam my fist against the window-frame, only to shake it
a few seconds later. I had hit the edge and it hurt badly. *OUCH*
Blowing against it helps a little bit and my thoughts drift back to
their former occupation.
Yes, he just takes without giving back.
Ignoring the peace and fun he could have with us.
You're so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You're broken
When your heart's not open
Himura told me what had happened and I know it hadn't been Aoshi-sama's
fault.
Hannya, Hyotokko, Shikijo, Beshimi are dead, and no one can change this
fact.
I wish I would have had the chance to see them once again before they
died, but
I didn't have.
Aoshi-sama had the *luck* to be with them in their last seconds and all
he did was
grieving, looking back.
What is this for a life? Sitting impassive in an edge of a room?
I could never do that! Angrily I slam my foot against the window-frame.
*OUCH*
Great. Now there was a whole in the frame... Okina would be upset
having once more to repair the remains of my outburts.
And there are others left! There is still the Aoiya, the Oniwa Banshu
consisting of Okina, Okon, Omasu, Kuso, Shiro and myself, our old connections
are still working.
Aoshi-sama had never been someone to open freely to others, but he was
always
different around me. He used to play with me, to laugh with me...
All this is gone...
Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key
But there has to be a way! There has to be a way to your heart, you don't
need to be alone as you might think you should be.
Hannya, Hyottoko, Shikijo, Beshimi. They all died for you, gave their
lives
for yours. They did that to give you the chance to live on. To live on
in
an era that had nothing left to offer them, they had been relics of another
life, of another time-period.
This time-period is gone. Forever. Just like their lives.
Do you really wish that their sacrifice was in vain?
Can't you see that that you dishonour their sacrifice with your behaviour?
Wasting your life like this?
Himura gave me the idea and he is right.
Now there's no point in placing the blame
And you should know I suffer the same
If I lose you
My heart will be broken
Love is a bird, she needs to fly
Let all the hurt inside of you die
You're frozen
When your heart's not open
mmmm, a sudden cold breeze is tickling my skin. Filled with the smell
of moist
earth from a short rain-shower.
NO! Aoshi-sama could recover! He could put aside the blame he puts on
himself!
He could recover from his grieve, start living again.
He doesn't need to sit like a sad rice-sack alone in a corner!
And I can help him! Himura said it: Aoshi-sama had had someone to return
to, someone to take care of and that was me!
Maybe there is a chance that I can reach him and have him smiling like
he used to do.
Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key
Yes, there has to be a chance to bring a smile an Aoshi-sama's face!
I shouldn't give up this easily, I never do!
The last bit of my sleepiness is washed away and I jump up, picking up
my clothes and dressing while I run downstairs into the kitchen.
I pass Okina on my way followed by his astonished glance, his beard
flying in the wind behind me.
Okon and Omasu are in the kitchen, surprised looking up as they see me
energetically running inside and cheerfully greeting them
"Good morning altogether!"
"Good morning Misao!" They greet unison back and I quickly gather a
breakfast on a tray -rice, fish, tea.
Before Okon and Omasu could react and ask me why I am in such a good mood,
I have already left the room and am on my way to Aoshi's room.
I stop in front, and announce my presence. I wait an appropriate time
before I enter, I expect no answer.
He is sitting with his back to the door, at the opened front door staring
into the garden.
You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen
When your heart's not open
I place the tray directly in front of him to be noticed.
"Here is some breakfast for you, Aoshi-sama."
He remains silent, making no motion.
"You should eat before it gets cold."
Slowly he reaches out to take the chop-sticks and starts eating.
Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key
"Aoshi-sama?"
"Yes?"
"Do you remember the move Hannya once wanted to teach me and I wasn't
able
to master?"
His eyes cloud dangerously with grief and regret and quickly I continue
"I mastered it yesterday! I am sure Hannya is now proud of me."
He gives no answer but I know it is a very difficult move even Hannya
had
needed a long time to master it, he had developed it on his own, not
under Aoshi-sama's companionship.
"I think this is the best reminiscence and honour I can give Hannya. Whenever
I'll perform this move I think of him. I would like to teach this move
to
keep his memory alive. Do you think this is a good idea?"
His eye-lids flicker for a second as if he wants to get rid off a memory
"Yes."
Still me makes no motion, keeping his expressionless feature. But I know
that
he is pondering about what I said.
Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key
With an almost careful motion he lays his chop-sticks aside and takes
the
tea-cup.
"Aoshi-sama?"
As there comes no response, I continue speaking, I know he would listen.
"I want to buy some new Kunais later. Would you come with me?"
He sipps on his tea
"Why don't you ask Okina or the others?"
Disdainful I wave my hand giving him my brightest smile
"Oh, you know Okina! He is only good for looking after young girls and
all
Okon and Omasu are doing is chatting about young men. I want you to come
with
me! You need to go outside and see some humans!"
Carefully Aoshi-sama sets his cup back on the tray, he had finished his
meal.
"I'll come with you."
I think he realises the huge smile that is plastered on my face as I pick
up the tray proudly and leave the room.
Aoshi-sama will go to the city with me!
If I could melt your heart
He thought I hadn't seen it, but I have.
There was a hint of a smile on his face when I left the room.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
started: October 8th 2002
finished: December 1st 2002
first posted: December 1st 2002
I hope you liked it,
Ja ne
Mara