Standard disclaimers:
I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Watsuki and some big name companies do.
Author's comments to reviews:
I don't care about correct history in this chapter, I know it is wrong and
I
don't want to be flamed for that! =^^=
I like the Ishinshishi, really, this is a concession to the story-line. =^^=
FICTION!
Furthermore, samurai didn't life together with their women and children
exactly for the point described here: they would be too easily recognised.
The wives and children usually lived in another city or far away =^^=.
That I made them staying together with the Shinsen-gumi is a concession to
the story, otherwise it would have been boring =^^=.
Take it easy: Fiction! =^^=
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I'll be your loverman! Till the bitter end
While empires burn down, forever and ever
and ever and ever Amen, I'm your loverman
So help me, baby, So help me
Cause I am what I am what I am what I am
I'm your loverman
words by Nick Cave ('loverman')
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CHAPTER 13: BATTLEFIELDS 2
When I re-gained consciousness I was lying on a futon in our room, by the
incident sunbeams I could tell that it was late in the afternoon.
I was alone, beside me was a tray with tea, soup and some rice on it. I
tried
to sit up, but the pain in the lower part of my body forced me down while
I
closed my eyes again. I was too exhausted from the overwhelming pain I
felt.
I heard the shouji opening, someone approached the futon and sat down
beside
me, by the smell I could tell it was Hajime, there was not a chance for
him to
get rid of this traiterous cigarette smell.
He laid a hand behind my back, helped me up and tried to give me some tea.
Forcing myself to open my eyes and smile consumed a lot of my energy but
I
was rewarded with a smirk on his face.
"You look horrible, Tokio."
That was exactly the greeting I had expected. He must have realised that
I
was too weak to answer, but I grinned in response.
"You lost a huge amount of blood, you will have to stay in bed for a
while to
recover."
I nodded in response to indicate that I was understanding him.
"The girls will look after you the next time."
He would leave? That shocked me, he must have seen it and continued.
"I'll come back. Just relax and re-gain strength."
"Thank you." I finally managed to answer and let myself fall back into the
relaxing, comforting rest of sleep.
***
The sunbeams of a late afternoon fell into the room when I woke up a second
time, this time the two girls were around. How long had I been lying
here? I
took the chance and addressed the two, I felt surprisingly refreshed and
sat
up.
"How long have I been sleeping?"
They looked astonished at me, I had caught them by surprise with my sudden
movements. I didn't feel the pain in the lower part of my body anymore, it
had vanished.
Finally one girl recovered from her surprise and answered me.
"Nearly one week."
"One week?"
I nearly fell over backwards, I missed one week? Why was I feeling so
strong,
recovered, despite the fact that I missed food and drinking for almost one
week? They must have taken good care of me.
Gently the other girl tried to push me back on my futon.
"Yes, you lost a huge amount of blood, therefore you needed the rest."
Remembrances from my first come round came to my mind, Hajime telling me
that
he had to leave. Searching I looked around, he wasn't in the room and
obviously he wasn't in the house either.
"Where is my husband?"
They looked rather sheepish, I got suspicious, something was wrong. Hajime
wasn't around... but what loss had Yoshinori caused?
"What about the baby?"
"You should rest."
This diversionary manoeuvre was too obvious, they were hiding something,
I
knew I had lost it. Was this the reason why Hajime wasn't around? Had he
left me? Surely not... but all this was my fault. Instinctively I caressed
the lower parts of my body, where the baby had been. Was my instinct right?
"WHAT ABOUT THE BABY, TELL ME!"
I threatened them by yelling. It would work, they were too
innocent and inexperienced to handle me and my violent temper.
"We are awfully sorry, you lost it."
I felt an icy hand reaching out for my heart, but what had I hoped for?
Yoshinori finished his tasks and he seldom failed. The one time he had
failed,
had ended deadly for him. I shook my head as if to get rid of the
distracting
thought of Yoshinori. I had other problems.
Ok, as I had already expected, the child was dead. This was hard, but it
would
not kill me. The time between realising that I was pregnant and losing the
baby had been too short to be upset, in addition to that I had had
Yoshinori
in back-mind the whole time. It wasn't a great loss, I would have another
child with time, which led me directly to the next question.
"Where is Hajime?"
They evaded my eyes.
"Saitou-sama will be back soon, there is no need to be worried."
Inwardly I rolled my eyes 'Saitou-sama'? What kind of new trick was this?
They were both terrible bad liars, not able to mask their emotions, evading
my eyes told me enough.
Was everything all right with him? Then they simply could tell me.
Was he still alive? Maybe they didn't know.
Where had he gone to? They hide someting, maybe they could tell me.
Did he leave me? I had already considered it: surely not.
No need to be worried? If it was necessary to mention it, then there was
a
reason to be concerned.
I confronted them with a combination of my conclusions.
"If there is no need to be worried, you can tell me where he is!"
Evading my eyes again, they stuttered. They tried to lie this time.
"He... he... he is p... p... patrolling, he will be back soon."
I felt anger rising, who do they thought I was? An idiot? I wanted to
see him,
speak to him, and I wanted it NOW.
"TELL ME WHERE HE IS!"
My aggressiveness threatened them, intimidated them, they hadn't
seen this side of me before, they stepped back, frightened enough to
tell me
what I wanted to know.
"There is some trouble with the Ishinshishi, they all left to fight them."
Trouble with the Ishinshishi? Hajime left to fight them? This was
dangerous!
Was he still alive? I would have to go and find out.
I kept shouting, this seemed to be the easiest and fastest way to get them
speaking.
"WHERE ARE THEY FIGHTING? BE A BIT MORE INFORMATIVE!"
They exchanged glances, they must have been ordered not to tell me, but
I was
threatening enough that they ignored their orders. HAH, I could be more
menancing then Kondou... was this really a positive point?
"As we know, they left for the eastern part of Kyoto."
I jumped up, driven by my worries and sorrows for Hajime and started to
dress
while they watched me.
One girl approached me reaching out one arm, trying to force me back
onto the
futon, this wouldn't work with me.
"You should stay in bed, Saitou-san, you are too weak, you lost too much
blood."
I growled low in my throat, before I yelled at her.
"NO!"
Quickly as lightening, she retreated her hand.
Hajime was the last person alive in this world important for me. It was
then,
when I was worried if he still was alive that I realised how much I
loved him,
how dependent of him I was. Never before I had cared so much for
someone that I feared for his life.
My fears, my worriess pushed me even more, I finished dressing while the
girls
continued observing me with wide-opened eyes, they were scared by me.
Soon I set off for Eastern Kyoto.
I knew it, when I had reached the battlefields. I smelled the blood and saw
the first corpses lying around. This was a massacre, blood was standing
in the streets, it began to flow down to the lower parts, where it gathered
in a growing pool. I had never seen so many dead corpses lying around
before.
Was Hajime among them?
I started to examine the first Shinsengumi who looked like him. He had the
right stature, but he hold his sword in the wrong hand, the right one, not
worth a closer examination.
This one had the fitting figure and hair, I turned him on his back. I
had to
clean his face with the sleeve of my kimono, my hands were trmbling. He was
not recognisable with the already viscous, sticky blood on his features,
but
much to my relief, it was enough left of the face to tell it was not Hajime.
I continued scanning the area, luckily not many of the Shinsengumi had his
height and stature.
There was a head, who was he? I picked it up by its pony-tail, inspected
it,
it turned around its axis hanging in the air freely. The wrong eyes.
Carelessly I dropped it back to the ground.
Perhaps he was only wounded, still able to answer? I started to yell.
"Hajime?"
No answer, maybe this was the wrong area? I continued to walk around, my
sandals were soaked with blood, every-time I lifted one feet and sat it
back
into the pools of blood they smackered, the sandals sticked to the socks
on
my feet by the half-dried, coagulated blood. But I didn't care.
There was the next one, it could be Hajime, there was not enough left of
the
face to tell who he was. But if only one week past, then Hajime would still
have the wounds from Yoshinoris kunai and shuriken, I nervously opened the
kimono, there was no wound on the right shoulder. Relieved I sighed.
I reached the next street, yelling again.
"Hajime!"
The corpses in this street were either Ishinshishi or had the wrong
stature,
Hajime wasn't among them.
"Hajime!"
"You are waking the dead and attracting more attention than necessary,
Tokio."
My heart nearly stopped beating hearing his voice, where was he?
I scanned the surroundings, there he came around the next corner, obviously
not very pleased to see me here, coldly addressing me as he stood in
front of
me.
"What are you doing here? You are supposed to stay in bed."
I didn't listen to him at all. I was too relieved that he was alive. I was
relieved to such an extent that his behaviour didn't put me off, I just
jumped at him, embraced him and looked up into his face.
"I wanted to see you."
'Great, Tokio. Can't you think of something more appropiate?'
He wasn't returning the hug, I didn't mind, I just wanted to be close to
him,
feel that his body was warm, living, his heart beating and his breathing.
"You should stay in bed."
He really was stubborn, I wasn't able to tolerate loosing the baby and him.
I cupped his face with my hands and kissed him fiercfully in the middle
of the street. Much to his disgust as I could have imagine. Soon I broke
the kiss he didn't respond at all and clapped him playfully.
"I couldn't. I wanted to know if you are still alive."
He narrowed his eyes, he didn't like the idea of me running around and
being
in danger.
"You are not safe here."
I knew that, he didn't need to tell me, was this his only concern? Did he
really care for ME? Surely, but not in a way I liked at this very moment.
It was best to change the theme.
"You heard what happened with the baby?"
NOW he looked down on me with concern in his eyes and laid his arms
around me.
"Yes."
"It was my fault."
"There is a real chance for us to have another child, Tokio."
NOW he smiled down at me.
"Thank you, Hajime."
I snuggled closer, enjoying the security around him.
"Let's go home."
He started to leave, I followed him as close as possible.
"Hajime?"
He turned slightly around, waiting for me to continue.
"You lost this fight with the Ishinshishi, haven't you?"
"You are right, we lost."
A thoughtful expression appeared on his features, we both knew
that serious changes would come, the last hope was Tokugawa with his army.
The situation in Kyoto had been serious lately and losing this battle
had been the final blow. It was clear that we would have to leave the city
that was lost to the Ishinshishi. This was a fact, nothing to discuss about.
Maybe Hajime needed encouragement?
"But it is worth continuing to fight."
A smirk spread over his face, no, HE surely didn't need encouragement.
"You are right, Tokio. Come on, let's go home."
As we stood in front of the house we both instantly knew that something was
wrong, it was suspicious quietly. Hajime indicated me to stay behind him
while
he drew his sword and entered the building cautiously.
Directly behind the entrance one of the girls was lying. She had a dagger
between her eyes, they were staring into distance, empty, lost. I felt
an icy
hand reaching out for my heart again. I wouldn't hear her silly comments
and
laughter anymore.
Some steps away was the second girl, she was cut through the throat, her
eyes were closed.
I remembered them admiring my hairpin, tasting my crepes, laughing with
them,
cheering me up. Innocent. They had been innocent, but they weren't any
longer.
The cruelty of reality had reached even them shortly before they had died.
Even I had threatened them in their last hours, they hadn't been
important for
me, they were just two girls, who had been around and had been useful. But
I
had been nasty to them in their last hours and I was not able to make up
for
it.
On the way upstairs the first child was lying, the abdomen was cut up, the
usual bad smell of opened intestines was in the air, some blue-bottles
buzzed
around, some had already settled down. It must have happened a while ago.
Hajime slide the door to the first room open and blocked the entrance. I
jumped up to cast a short glance into the room, but he closed the door
determined before I was able to have a look around and he turned to me
seriously.
"Please go downstairs and wait for me. I'm sure they won't come back."
Definitively he re-sheathed his sword, the assassins wouldn't come back,
their job was done. I have never seen him this serious before and
decided it
would be wise to do what he wanted, I didn't want to see a sight that he
considered not to be meant for me.
While I headed towards the steps, he addressed me again.
"Tokio?"
I turned, looking questioningly at him, he reached out one arm to
indicate me
to come back to him. As I was in his range he pulled me close, whispering
in my ear.
"It was a good idea to look for me. I'll catch our things, please wait."
I nodded against his chest, inhaling his scent deeply before I walked
downstairs and waited for him. It didn't take him long, we owned only a few
things besides the weapons and my books. I forced myself not to look around
closely while I stood in the entrance.
Finally Hajime came down the steps, the box with our belongings settled on
his back, in one hand he had clean clothes for me. I knew what he
planned to
do. We would go to another house in different district where we would met
Hijikata, Kondou and the other remaining members of the Shinsen-gumi.
I changed in the fresh clothes, it were Soushi's, and picked up some fresh
sandals at the entrance, mine were soaked with blood. The owner wouldn't
mind
anymore, she was dead.
Why was Hajime still around? Why didn't he drop me like a hot potato? I was
nothing but trouble for him, not following his orders, yelling at him,
opposing him, fighting him. Most times for fun, I admitted.
"Hajime?"
He turned, looking questioningly at me.
"You really didn't leave me as you promised after Soushi's death."
"There was no reason."
He turned back, leaving me dumbfounded behind. There was no reason to leave
me? My parents were dead because of me. Hajime had nothing but trouble
with me
during a time he had more important things to concentrate on than to take
care of a wife and endure her unstable moods. The trouble he had had
because
of me with Yoshinori, the injuries he had gotten because of me,
the times I hurt him emotionally, because of me we lost our first baby. The
only interesting thing might be the bed-time-events, I thought. Obviously
I
was wrong. He actually liked me the way I was, there was more behind it
than
pure attraction.
"What are you waiting for, Tokio?"
Impatiently he waved me to follow him. He didn't need to tell me twice.
I jumped forward onto his hips, the box on his back was in my way, I didn't
care.
"Hajime, there is no chance you'll ever get rid of me."
By a look in his face I saw a painful expression and suddenly remembered
the
kunai that had hit him exactly on the spot I was sitting on.
"I'm afraid so, yes. Get down, I can't carry you AND the box."
Before climbing down I placed a kiss on his cheek.
"I admit, you are right. The box is too heavy."
A huge smile appeared on his face looking down on me AFTER I was back on
the
ground and had left his wounded side.
"Come on, let's go."
We set off for the Northern part of Kyoto to meet the others.
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TBC...
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