When we would go have the opportunity
These events drew thousands,
Heat omitted from the door
to go see Sasha and Digweed at their events
I would usually begin the night in contemplation
as to whether or not it was worth braving the crowds.
organized as in a sporting event or a stadium.
This would inevitably involve people smashed together
so tightly into a building
that strangers would know you physically
on a more intense intimate basis
by simply crossing a room
than most people you would date
over the entire course of high school.
as many as the building could hold
and often many more that would be turned away.
before you even entered the building
from crowds so intense,
that even a person who was quite comfortable
in cramped situations would in a matter of moments
evolve into a full blown claustrophobic.
Most of the crowd related anxiety attacks I had would happen
with Sasha and Digweed events,
and this would not be the exception
on this particular visit to San Francisco.
Usually I would brave the crowds
because I enjoyed exchanging greetings with John.
I didn't know Sasha beyond a casual hello
on a select few occasions,
or from shooting his photo's while he played.
John was, at least with my acquaintance,
much more approachable and down to earth.
I instantly admired that,
he was one of the first people
who had that level of celebrity
to impress upon me how little fame mattered.
Inside I always knew this,
sometimes feel as if I am one of the few people
who expresses sympathy
with the recipients of that much fame.
It brings with it a hefty price,
a loneliness that is unfathomable.
Ironically, fame in that regard
would mirror wealth, which I personally understood.
I asked myself often,
would people genuinely care about you as an individual?
Would they want to know you
because of who you were
or what you could potentially do for them?
It amazed me that a literal ocean of faces,
would gather, in a euphoric daze of awe
for these two men.
To look at John,
he would just as easily
be sitting in his living room
spinning for his closest friends.
John has been the only artist I knew casually,
that would always ask how we were,
regardless of the hectic crowds or conditions
remembering the slightest details.
I found that to be a rare quality with people in general
and it was because of that realization,
that I genuinely looked forward to visiting with him
on the rare opportunities we connected.
He earned my respect as an artist
for being that grounded,
while possessing qualities that
remained so incredibly ethereal
in his expression through music.
The artist . . .
George Bellows
All civilization and culture
are the results of the creative imagination
or artist quality in man.
makes life more interesting or beautiful,
more understandable or mysterious . . .
more wonderful.
