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November 7, 2003
My gal and I have strongly differing emotions about Thanksgiving, and subsequently, family.
Oh, I'm sure we have the same views on family. Loving and patient parents, rebellious but appreciative children, a stable home, and a nurturing environment.
However, we FEEL completely opposite about family. Perhaps because she comes from one who was close yet tinged with tragedy, whereas mine is tragic yet longing for closeness.
Of course I want to be close to my family, of course I want to bring them joy and pride, but how to patch up old wounds? Should I just off-handedly apologize like Darlene on Roseanne? Break down crying confessing the hole in my soul?
I try to reassure them with how happier I am these days, about being paid for a second article, about my slow but sure practice at screenwriting. Sometimes, when I visit, I touch my father on the shoulder, perhaps to remind him that I still exist, but it's very calculated on my part, not purely an expression of affection.
Perhaps this is the best we can do, the best substitution for warmth, the acknowledgement that we have influenced each other, for better or for worse. |
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