April 24, 2001

What the hell were we thinking? We didn't know anything about being in a high school band. It took us two weeks to agree on the name, "The News Boys."

It was a school production. The second annual "Guitarmania" concert. I still own the shirt for the first one.

Someone had the bright idea to have the band wear a suit and tie to look like news reporters. Then, someone thought we should wear a suit, tie, and shorts. This was back when I was scared of revealing my scrawny little legs, for some reason.

We climbed on stage so fucking nervous, setting up the amps and checking the mics. But that's when it all started to fall apart. The bass amp kept kicking feedback and it just wouldn't work.

Our teacher told us that we had five minutes or he'd kick us off.

The singer's hands shook. He had to sit down because his knees started to buckle.

The drummer sat, waiting, and the bassist just said "fuck it" and unplugged all the effects and pedals and plugged straight into the amp. We lost half of our sound right there.

We started into our first song, "Boys Don't Cry." I was halfway through the chorus when the drummer finished his intro; I was several measures ahead. To top it off, I couldn't even hear my own amp; the drummer completely drowned out my sound.

The bassist realized what was happening, and so he tried to get the rhythm back in line, but it was too late. No one knew where they were supposed to be.

Our singer, still stagestruck, clutched the mic with one hand, and the drum stage with other. His voice shook as he sung, "I would say I'm sorry..." to his own rhythm.

No one told us we needed monitors, so we couldn't hear anyone, except for the drummer, and he was off on his own. Eventually, we realized that the audience was singing, and they became the center beat for the rest of us.

When we did "Wild Thing" the singer managed to get on his feet and even move around.

When we finished with "The Wall" all the adrenaline was gone and we stopped caring.

We should have gone on stage drunk, it wouldn't have made a difference.

Unfortunately, my parents video taped the show.