Hmmm...

October 2, 2001

I feel
I'm living in between the lines
that I'm missing something vital
being too old for excess
wondering 'What the fuck am I doing?'
and being too young for certainty
even though people keep telling me, 'I still have time...'
but 'For what?' is my question...

...

I was in a good mood 2 months ago.
Until someone told me I was deluding myself
My problem is that I believed her
sincere observations and analysis
when she pointed out my contradictions
but I wish she let me have my self-indulgence
because now I've even given up pretending
so what's the point?