-=BAKED NEWS=-
-=Dec. 10 2001=-woah there is a big gape in the dates, anyways let me see news... um.. i smoked a joint? meh.. i need to start updating this page more often, im gonna add a forum :o.......im probably gonna get a job, cuz im going to college.... i probably wont update this page very often while im taking my courses... hmm what else.... ah yes i lost the screen for my pipe... ive had to roll joints for the past few days.. im getting better, aklfdsjadlkf....fidsaljga ewpijtiwjgasd;lk....... meh, know what pisses me off? not having alot of pot.. but thats gonna change when i get a job, woohoo... and know what else? i was out, like 3 o' clock in the morning, smoking pot beside this stupid church beside my house, and im all fucked up, and some guy walks up to me and is like "got any bud..?" i thought to myself.. i said "no sorry all i had was a roach and i just smoked that" so he was like "shitty.." then he walked away.. wtf man i could have been a fucking punk, or i could have beat the shit out of him, why would u walk around at 3 am , see a guy with a smoke, and ask him for pot.... whatever, after he left i smoked 2 more joints and went home....
-=Oct. 25 2001=-you know, alot of people think they are better then me, or smarter, but i have something they can never have, style, style in the art of mom jokes.... oh some like to argue, "nay, mom jokes are for immature losers!"... but we all know that these people are infact the ones who are mistaken... for u see, the mom joke is a sort of clay, or play doe if u will, in the fact that it, can be shaped or molded to fit any kind of sentence, for example:
"the weather is awful!"
"so was ur mom in bed last night"
now this may look simple but infact some people find it very difficult to manufacture such a reply, could this indeed be the next stage in the evolution of the english language... here is an example of someone who hasnt quite mastered the art of mom, (for the safety of the participents only the first letter of the volunteer will be shown)
S***** "that truck was loud!"
Greg "your moms loud"
now this was not performed correctly... he should have said.... not as loud as ur mom in bed last night.....
but practice makes perfect, haha, perfect like ur moms tight ass....
i am high, you are not, good night,..........good like ur mom hehe :o
-=Oct. 20 2001=-not much has happened lately, besides the fact i fucked all ur mothers, but thats not really news.. is it? since every one fucks ur mothers..... i smoked 2 bowls, i am baked, and i bet ur not..
-=Oct. 15 2001=-Well i finally got my news page up, it is the 15th of october, hmmm news... well i guess i should report some; Today a tragedy has struck my neighborhood, a cat was "dipped" in kerosene, the owner addressed a letter to the whole neighborhood saying that this was a horrible act, and that children could be next, heh, anyways, i was consulting with my father today (he doesn't know about this site or that i smoke weed) and he had a different spin on things.. "maybe the cat fell in a bucket filled with kerosene, since it is un-likely that anyone in their right mind would have gone threw all the effort of carrying around a bucket then actually catching a cat" good point pops.. why would someone go threw all the effort of "soaking" a cat in kerosene yet not lighting it on fire, isnt this logically the next step? well my friends, if it was me i would have lit it up "here kitty kitty kitty" but i don't have enough patience to actually catch a fucking cat, now people are gonna be all fucking paranoid, how the fuck am i gonna smoke pot by myself now, i will have to walk like 2 fucking blocks before im safe, from the cops, as well as the kerosene bandit.... omg, he could splash me with it while im smoking a doob and i would instantly burst into flames!! AHHHH..... haha but why the fuck wouldn't they have lit it on fire, thats why i think the cat just fell in... this is bullshit i am so fucked for going out at night.. (this has been a baked news column, presented to you by, Mike The Stoner..... good day