by Arnie
"Of course," the tall con man murmured.
"You two will stay put until we've got the plans," Garrison continued, indicating Goniff and Actor.
"Aw, but Warden...." Goniff started to protest.
"No buts. We can't afford any suspicions until we're on our way out. And don't forget, we're on a tight schedule. We've got to avoid improvising if we can. We get in, get the plans and get out again," Garrison explained.
"But what'll I do if someone speaks to me?" Goniff asked worriedly.
"You're supposed to be concussed; they won't be expecting you to talk. Anyway, Actor will be there the whole time."
"But what if a real doctor tries to take a look at me?"
"Hey, baby, if you're that worried, I'll knock you on the head myself," Casino cracked.
"No thanks." The look Goniff shot Casino wasn't a friendly one.
"They won't. Don't worry, Actor will deal with them. Once we've left Goniff and Actor in the Infirmary, we," Garrison continued, indicating Chief and Casino, "head along this corridor."
Chief glanced at the plan of the building. "Big house."
"It's practically a castle," Garrison explained absently, his eyes still on the plan. "The office we want is two floors above the Infirmary. Chief, you'll keep a look out outside the office, Casino, you'll open the safe."
"Right."
"We get the plans, head back to the Infirmary and collect Goniff and Actor. That's it."
"And one hour later...kablooey," Casino added.
"That's why we're on a tight schedule, Casino. We don't want to be there once the bombing starts."
~'~
"'Ere, Warden," Goniff shouted over the noise of the plane's engines.
"What is it, Goniff?" Garrison asked wearily. The Englishman hadn't stopped talking since the plane had taken off. Luckily, Garrison was too far away to hear much of what Goniff was saying. Casino, on the other hand, was sitting right next to Goniff and from the look on his face, he was considering throttling the Cockney to shut him up.
"'Ow come we're not parachutin' out over the place we're 'eading to, then?" Goniff was well aware of the fact that they'd have to travel quite a few miles on foot, unless they could 'borrow' a vehicle, to reach their target, and he wasn't exactly pleased.
"The house we're heading for has a regiment of soldiers stationed near it. They might suspect we're up to something if we jump out of the plane on top of them."
"Cor! A whole regiment, eh? Fancy that." Goniff looked down at his boots for a few moments, muttering to himself, "A regiment o' soldiers. Huh. A whole regiment."
Actor smiled to himself. He could tell what was coming next.
Goniff looked up and grinned at Garrison. "So...'ow many's that then?" he asked.
"More than two thousand soldiers make up a regiment, Goniff," Garrison answered. He couldn't wait to see Goniff's reaction to that one.
The Cockney blinked a few times, then said, astonished, "Two thousand? Two thousand ruddy soldiers and they're sendin' us in?" He elbowed Casino sharply. "Did you 'ear that? Two thousand soldiers!"
Casino sighed. "I'd have to be deaf to have missed it." He sounded almost regretful.
"So, we've gotta get in, steal the plans, get out before the bombin' starts...an' all with two thousand soldiers breathin' down our ruddy necks?" Goniff demanded.
"That's the one, baby," Casino retorted before Garrison could answer.
Goniff sat back. He knew that the Warden's bosses had a habit of sending them on crazy missions, but this? They must be off their rockers!
Chief stretched his legs out. "Look at it this way, pappy," he murmured. "You get to play the wounded soldier while we're runnin' around stealin' the plans."
"Oh yeah." Goniff smiled. Maybe his part in this wouldn't be too bad.
~'~
Garrison gathered up his parachute quickly, looking round to locate the others in the moonlight. He spotted Actor straight away, the con man's height making him easily visible. It was a good thing Actor was such good con man; they'd never be able to hide him in a crowd. Garrison could see Casino and Goniff too, but there was no sign of Chief.
Casino had noticed the same thing. He stepped a few feet to his left and glanced over the hedge. He figured that the Indian was probably off, scouting around to make sure that no Kraut had spotted them coming down, but he took a look anyway.
Chief wasn't scouting round. He was flat on his back in the field. He'd landed on a rock; it had thrown him off balance, and he'd fallen, hitting his head on yet another rock.
"Chiefy!" Goniff climbed over the hedge quickly, followed by the others.
By the time they reached him, Chief was sitting up. "I'm all right," he protested quickly.
"Sure you are," Casino retorted. "That's why you were takin' a nap."
Chief scowled at the safecracker, and started to get up.
Garrison grabbed his arm and pulled him up. "Are you hurt?" he demanded.
"I'll be all right," Chief repeated, steadying himself. His head was aching from where he'd hit it, but he refused to acknowledge it.
"Casino, hide the parachutes," Garrison ordered. "We'll head for those trees."
Garrison and Actor each grabbed one of Chief's arms as he started to limp towards the trees. Quickly they hurried him across, closely followed by Goniff and Casino.
"Okay, what happened?" Garrison demanded as soon as they were safe.
"I tripped, that's all," Chief replied quietly, sitting on an old stump of a tree, shrugging off their concern.
"How did you trip?"
"I tripped."
Garrison persisted. "How? Chief!"
"I landed on a rock, that's all." Chief felt like an idiot - he was fine. Okay, he'd banged his head a bit but he wasn't actually hurt.
Actor knelt and quickly ran a hand over Chief's ankle. "It feels like a slight sprain," he commented. "There's nothing broken." He glanced up into Chief's face. "And did you hurt anything else when you tripped?" he asked.
Chief scowled again. He hated this.
"Chief?" Garrison asked.
"I banged my head," Chief admitted. "But it's fine."
Actor carefully ran his hands over Chief's head. He'd banged his head all right, there was a big lump coming up. Actor was surprised at the size of it. He pulled out his penlight and, after warning Chief, he flashed it into the younger man's eyes.
"I'd say Chief has just been recast in the part of the wounded soldier," he murmured. "Complete with a mild concussion."
"I ain't got a concussion," Chief claimed, indignantly.
"I'd say that you have." Actor smiled. "And if any doctor insists on examining you, you'll have the bruises to convince him."
"Is he okay to walk?" Garrison asked.
"As long as we strap up his ankle to support it. But the sooner we borrow some transport, the better."
"First chance we get," Garrison agreed.
~'~
Garrison was getting worried. Chief's ankle was slowing them down, although his head seemed to be fine. At least, that was what the Indian was claiming. If they didn't pick up the pace soon though, they'd reach the house at the same time as the Air Force. He really didn't want to face that situation. Fortunately, Lady Luck seemed to have changed her mind.
The four drunken soldiers who were swerving all over the road in their Jeep realised that one of them needed more than some fast driving to clear his head. The driver pulled over. The one most afflicted with the cheap wine the cafe had been serving climbed over the side of the Jeep and vanished into the woods. The sounds he made reached his companions quite clearly and they were all relieved when the noises stopped. However, Ernst seemed to be taking his time getting back to them.
"Ernst!" Freidrich called. He waited for a few seconds, blinking drunkenly at his friends who gazed blearily back at him. When Ernst did not reply, and did not reappear, Freidrich made up his mind. "Ernst is a drunken swine, but I will go and fetch him," he said with a tremendous amount of dignity. "He cannot hold his drink, but I can hold mine."
He clambered out of the Jeep in a confused way. The fact that he had two legs seemed to be a particular problem, since he kept ending up with one leg outside the Jeep and one in. No matter how many times he tried.
"Freidrich." Hans poked his friend in the back.
Freidrich straightened with a snort and swung round. Where was he? "Heil Hitler!" he shouted, raising his arm and knocking Hans' helmet off.
Hans picked up his helmet and hit Freidrich with it. "Go," he said loudly, in a slurred voice. "Fetch Ernst. We want to be back at the camp before the Oberleutnant knows we're late."
"Ernst. Yes, Ernst. I am coming, Ernst!" Suddenly he leaned forward until his nose was three inches from Hans'. "Hans. There are ghosts in the woods. If I do not come back...I do not know what you will do."
Hans pushed his drunken companion away. "I will tell Johann to drive on and you will have to stay with the ghosts."
"That is a good plan, Hans," Freidrich replied, patting him on the shoulder. "I am glad you are a friend of mine."
Freidrich tried once more to leave the Jeep. He managed it by accident and stood on the road. "Ernst, I am coming," he called. "Ready or not." And he staggered forward into the woods.
He found Ernst very quickly, and bent over him with some concern. "Ernst, why have you taken your uniform off? You do not have a girl. In fact, Ernst, you never have a girl. The only girl you've had, we had to pay for."
Freidrich didn't hear Garrison creep up behind him, however he did feel the karate chop that knocked him out, but not the ground as he hit it. Nor did he realise when his uniform was stolen.
"Oh baby, they've had a skinful," Casino murmured, with a grin.
Garrison straightened up with Freidrich's uniform in his hands. "Put that on. Let's see if we can take the other two."
Fortunately for the other two, the drink had overtaken them by the time Garrison and his men approached the Jeep. The two sleeping beauties were removed from the vehicle, and from their uniforms, without so much as a murmur. Actor and Casino dumped Johann beside his three unconscious friends and then headed back to the Jeep.
~'~
Actor gazed at the countryside they were passing through. It was quite lovely. His gaze shifted and he glanced down at the ordinary clothes he still wore, and he frowned. Hans had been the tallest of the four, and even he had been at least three inches shorter than the tall Italian, therefore Actor had no uniform. He disliked being out of uniform in Germany. The Nazis had a high respect for rank and hierarchy, and as long as you outranked an officer (or, even better, if you appeared to be a member of the Gestapo), you could give that officer any order and he would obey. Often unthinkingly. But without a uniform or the papers to prove that you had a right to a uniform, you were in a weak position to start with. And the Nazis were ruthless when it came to weakness.
As Actor needed a uniform, preferably with a doctor's coat and bag if they could get one, Garrison had decided to improvise. Although the sun hadn't long risen, they'd passed a few vehicles on the road already. All they needed was find one with a few German officers in it.
A few miles from the house, Garrison rounded a bend in the road, drove on for fifty yards or so and then stopped. "This is as good a place as any," he said. "Actor, head up to the bend and give us a signal if you see any Germans approaching. We're going to get you a uniform."
Goniff was sent off down the road to another bend, and told to do the same.
As soon as they were gone, Garrison drove the Jeep off the road and stopped just before a tree. "Casino, keep an eye on Actor. I'll watch Goniff. Chief, swap places with me." As soon as Chief was in the driver's seat, Garrison continued. "As soon as we get a signal, Chief, sprawl over the wheel. And don't forget to act injured!"
"Sure." The Indian looked pale enough. Garrison guessed that the bright sunlight wasn't helping his head any, although as usual, Chief made no complaints.
"Casino, you stay by Chief."
Garrison got out of the Jeep and stood waiting, glancing at his watch. Time was passing. They needed to move quickly. Where was a German when you needed one?
"Hey, baby, we're on," Casino warned, having seen the signal that Actor was sending them.
Chief slumped forward over the wheel, slipping his knife into his hand, just in case he needed it.
As soon as the car rounded the bend, Garrison ran to the road and flagged it down. They were in luck. The car contained a doctor, a captain and their driver.
The car stopped, and Garrison hastily explained that his friend had driven into the tree and was badly injured.
Sighing, the doctor got out of the car and made his way to the Jeep, the captain following on behind him. As soon as Herr Doctor reached Casino, Garrison gave him a nod. Casino jumped the doctor, while Garrison shot the driver and then swung around, grabbing the captain and killing him quickly.
Actor and Goniff came running.
"Warden," Actor commented, indicating the Captain's uniform. "I see you've been promoted."
"Not as much as you have, Actor," Garrison replied.
Within a few minutes, the dead bodies were dumped in the bushes while the car was driven off the road and hidden.
Actor buttoned his jacket and slipped the white coat on over the top. He felt better with a uniform on. Better able to con his, and their, way out of any sticky situation.
"Hey, Actor, from a civilian to an officer in five minutes. Not bad, huh?" Casino cracked.
"Fortunes of war, my dear Casino," Actor murmured, smoothing the sleeves. He did not glance back at the dead officers as they left. The lucky survived and the unlucky, or those who were simply in the wrong place, did not.
~'~
By the time they'd reached the house, everyone knew what he was doing. Goniff was to stay with the Jeep, while Garrison and Casino carried Chief into the Infirmary. While Actor saw to Chief's injuries, the other two would leave by the inner door and make their way to the office.
Garrison hoped that they wouldn't have to improvise any more. He glanced at his watch again; they only had thirty minutes left. He'd hoped that they would already have got the plans by now, but at least they'd arrived.
Actor got out of the Jeep first, barking orders at Garrison and Casino as they lifted Chief out of the vehicle. Chief allowed his head to loll. Truth to tell it was still aching. His stomach seemed to be doing somersaults and his eyesight wasn't quite back to normal yet, although he'd managed to hide that from the others. He was just glad Garrison hadn't asked him to drive or they might have crashed for real.
He feigned unconsciousness as they reached the Infirmary. Actor's voice, again giving orders but this time to the soldier who queried their right to enter almost caused him to flinch. Vaguely, he thought that he might as well have allowed the pain to show. The others would think it was part of the act.
Garrison and Casino lowered Chief onto the gurney. Glancing at his face, Garrison wondered if Chief was even paler than before. He couldn't say anything to Actor, but from the look on Actor's face he'd noticed already.
With an imperious wave of his hand, Actor dismissed them. Giving orders in his very best 'I am an officer and who do you think you are?' voice, Actor demanded (and got) a private room in which to examine his fool of a driver who had crashed his staff car and got himself injured.
Chief lay still. He was still feeling sick and now that he didn't even have the benefit of fresh air to help him, he was beginning to wonder if he could manage to keep his stomach under control. Two orderlies quickly started to wheel the gurney towards Actor's private room and Chief realised that he was losing the battle. As he lurched up with a convulsive movement, the orderly grabbed his shoulders in an effort to stop him from falling off the gurney, then regretted it. Actor stepped forward hastily, then stepped back again, even more hastily, as Chief was magnificently sick over the orderly.
If Chief could have blushed, he would have. He hated being ill, and he hated showing that he was capable of being ill. And now he'd just been extremely ill in front of several people. He also felt very sorry for the orderly.
Snapping orders left and right, Actor got Chief into the private room while the unlucky orderly was left to clean himself and the floor up. Actor dismissed the second orderly (who was thanking his lucky stars that he'd been by Chief's feet) and closed the door behind him.
"Do you feel better now?" Actor demanded.
"I'm fine," Chief protested, typically.
"So I can see," Actor said quietly. "Don't worry about it. People with a concussion frequently vomit. It helps."
"I don't have a concussion," Chief insisted.
Actor looked at him with exasperation. "Then you're a magnificent actor."
~'~
Fifteen minutes later Garrison and Casino returned with the plans safely stashed inside Garrison's jacket. They slipped quietly into the busy Infirmary and looked around. No sign of Actor or Chief.
Just then, Actor opened the door of his room and went to step out. He caught Garrison's eye and nodded his head slightly to show that he and Chief could get out easily. As soon as he knew that Garrison had understood him, Actor stepped back inside the room and shut the door. He crossed to the window he'd opened and glanced out. All Garrison had to do was get himself and Casino out, and Actor and Chief could slip out through the window. He looked over his shoulder at Chief. The Indian seemed to be slightly better already, probably due to the fact that he'd been sick. Actor smiled slightly at the memory of Chief's embarrassment: he knew how the Indian hated appearing vulnerable in any way.
"Ready to leave?" Casino demanded quietly, grinning at him through the open window.
"I think so." Actor turned. Chief was already off the gurney and at his shoulder. Actor stepped back. "You go first," he murmured. "And mind your head."
Chief gave him one quick glance and then climbed through the window, his nimble movements betraying nothing. Actor followed quickly.
Garrison was standing at the corner, keeping watch for any soldiers who might approach, but there was no one about as they made their way back to the Jeep.
"About ruddy time," Goniff said as soon as he saw them. "D'you realise I can 'ear the planes?"
"Relax, baby," Casino returned. "We're outta here."
"They're early," Garrison commented as he leapt into the driver's seat. "Let's go!"
The other three jumped into the back seat as Garrison started the engine. As soon as they were in, even before Casino had sat down, Garrison hit the accelerator. Casino sat down with a thump and grabbed the back of Goniff's seat.
"Warden!" he shouted, startled.
Goniff looked up, his mouth open as the plane zoomed overhead and started to release its bombs. Garrison floored the accelerator and headed for the road.
It wasn't until they'd reached the road and were racing down it that anyone dared to breathe. Casino sat back in his seat. His heart was thumping wildly.
"Warden," Goniff said quietly, "next time, I'm stoppin' 'ome."
"What, and miss all the fun?" Casino demanded sarcastically, shoving the back of Goniff's seat.
"Count yourself lucky, Goniff. You might have been an orderly in that Infirmary," Actor said.
Chief turned his head quickly. Actor wouldn't. Would he?
Actor smiled charmingly at Chief and then looked at the beautiful countryside they were speeding through.
"Yeah, that's a thought," Goniff said. "I wouldn't like to be one o' them right now."
"Or twenty minutes ago, Goniff."
"Twenty minutes ago? Why, what 'appened twenty minutes ago?" Goniff asked, puzzled.
Chief froze as Actor smiled at him wickedly.
"Nothing," Actor murmured. "Nothing at all."
The End
