If Only
by Arnie
Author's Note: Originally published in a multi-fandom zine by Kathy Agel.
The truck raced along the road, closely followed by a staff car with Germans in it.  They seemed to be trying to stop the truck in its mad dash.  One German took careful aim and shot out one of the tires. The truck veered violently to the left, seemed to recover, swerved off the road and then slammed into a tree.

He felt rather confused.  He could feel the breeze wafting over him, and the metal of the hood was cold against his face.  Prickly, he thought vaguely.  Glass...windshield.... He let the thoughts float away from him.  He could hear the Germans approaching, but he didn't mind.  It didn't really matter anyway.

~*~*~*~

As per usual, it was Casino who sounded off first.  "Aw, come on, baby, we only got back yesterday!"

"The army knows that, Casino."  Lieutenant Craig Garrison sighed.  Would there ever be a mission where Casino didn't complain?  He doubted it: Casino seemed to complain in his sleep.

"And they're sendin' us out again, right?"  Casino stood up.  "Is there anyone else fightin' this stinkin' war except us?"

"Ya gotta admit, Warden, they never let up on us," Goniff said.  He leaned back in his chair, knowing that he was going to annoy Casino.  "Course, maybe they send us 'cause we're the best!"

He was right.  Casino swung around and stared at him.  "Are you kidding?  They send us 'cause we're cons, baby, and don't you forget it!"

Garrison glared at Goniff.  He could tell from the smirk on the Cockney's face that he'd gotten the reaction he wanted.  Goniff liked nothing more than getting Casino annoyed, and with Garrison standing there, Casino couldn't do anything to him.

"All right, that's enough.  We fly out tonight - and I don't want to hear another word about it!"  Garrison looked at Chief and Actor, waiting to see if they had anything to say.  Chief shrugged his shoulders and played with his knife while Actor merely smiled smoothly and continued smoking his pipe.  "Be ready at sixteen hundred hours," Garrison added, then made for the door.  He heard the row escalate as soon as he shut it behind him.  He wasn't pleased at being sent out with such short notice, but what could he do?  He was in the Army and he had his orders.

Garrison reached his office and sighed.  If only that guy hadn't got himself killed.  If only he'd survived to meet his contact and get the information.  If only his contact would trust one of the Maquis instead of insisting upon an American...and if only Casino could stop complaining for five minutes.

~*~*~*~

Casino had actually stopped complaining.  They were all sitting in the airplane, waiting to reach the drop zone.  He hugged his arms around himself.  In spite of the thick coats they were all wearing he still felt cold.  Typical!  They had to parachute into France and it was freezing out there.  He glared at the Warden who ignored him.  If only he'd tell his superiors where to get off.  But if he did, they'd all be headed back to stir.  At the moment, that looked rather attractive.

~*~*~*~

Garrison landed, his feet crunching the thin ice that coated the ground.  He gathered up his parachute, looking around for the others.  Actor, Chief...no sign of the other two.  Maybe they'd landed on the other side of that hedge.  He couldn't tell, for the hedge was taller than him, it was even taller than Actor.  He looked around for a way to get over, or through it then noticed the tall wooden gate to his right, but before he could reach it, it opened.

"Hey, baby, lookin' for me?"  Casino grinned, his normal wise-cracking humor restored.

"Where's Goniff?" Garrison asked, as they all slipped through the opening.

"He came down over there," Casino told them, with a jerk of his head.

Why wasn't Goniff heading towards them?  Garrison quickened his step.  There was no sign of him.  Then they saw his parachute...it was spread out...over some bushes.  What the hell?

They could hear Goniff's muffled curses.  He was standing in the middle of the bushes and seemed to be having a bit of a problem.

It was Actor who first realised what was going on.  He lifted the edge of the parachute.  "It seems our intrepid hero is waging war on a platoon of rose bushes."

"What?"  Garrison grabbed the parachute and pulled it free.  It ripped in several places as it parted company with the bushes Goniff was having fun with.

They could see him clearly now, the moonlight illuminating him.  He was jerking back and forth trying to free his clothing - and not getting very far.

Garrison closed his eyes for a second.  Already?  Things had to go wrong already?  "Goniff," he hissed.  "Stand still, we'll get you out.  And keep the noise down."

Chief had already slipped off to make sure that no one had heard them and was heading their way.  Casino stashed the parachutes under the hedge, then stood back and watched, grinning broadly at the Cockney's fury.

"Blimey, Warden.  I've always 'ated roses and now I know why!" Goniff declared as quietly as he could.

"There is nothing wrong with roses," Actor said, as he helped Goniff untangle himself.  "Most people remember to avoid their thorns."

Goniff stepped out of the bushes, his trousers in tatters and his legs, hands and wrists decorated with several scratches.  "You can keep 'em, mate," he announced.  "Who the 'ell plants roses in the middle of a ruddy field?"

"Whoever owned the house up there," Chief said.  Garrison jumped slightly.  Even now he wasn't used to the man's ability to creep up on him unheard and unseen.  "There's a house over there.  Looks like it was hit in the bombin'."  He looked at Goniff and smiled slightly.  "You might wanna get inside before you get frostbite."

"Not here."  Garrison knew that someone could have seen them come down.  He pulled out his map.  "We're supposed to meet someone in a farmhouse...about a mile in that direction."  He folded up the map and tucked it away.  "We'll check you out there.  The parachutes?" he added.

"Relax, baby, I hid 'em," Casino said, still grinning.

They headed off, Chief in the lead.  Goniff complaining quietly all the way.  Garrison sighed, once one shut up, the other started.  Maybe they were taking turns to drive him insane.

~*~*~*~

"Garrison?"

"Marcel?"

"Oui.  You are a little late, my friend."  Marcel moved away from the doorway where he'd been waiting for them.  "Anton is bringing a truck--he will be here soon.  We must be ready."

"We'll be ready."  Garrison sent Chief and Casino off to take a look around, while he, Actor and Goniff headed into the building with Marcel.

"Okay Goniff, get your trousers off."

"Aw, Warden, it's freezin'.  I'll catch me death o' cold," Goniff protested.

"We've got to clean those scratches or you could end up with worse."  Garrison opened the medical kit and waited.

Marcel grinned as he saw the state of the Englishman.  "So, my friend, how far up do those scratches go?" he asked.

"Not that far," Goniff growled, grabbing at the bottom of his coat.  Briefly, he thanked God that the coat passed his hips, otherwise he really could have been in trouble.  Just the thought of it made his eyes water.

It was bad enough, though.  The scratches extended from the tops of his shoes to the hem of his coat and the iodine stung like crazy.

"Goniff, sit still," Garrison ordered him, trying to avoid being hit by Goniff's feet as the iodine stung again.  Actor laughed quietly to himself.  Goniff looked as though he had St. Vitus's Dance and the Warden had already been kicked three times.

"Can't 'elp it, can I?"  Goniff glared at Actor.  "It ain't ruddy funny, neither."  His foot connected with Garrison's shin.  "Sorry Warden."

The sound of a truck interrupted them.  Garrison handed the medical kit to Actor.  "You can take care of the rest," he ordered then headed through the door.

Actor stopped smiling.

~*~*~*~

Goniff's scratches had stopped stinging by the time they reached the safe house, but he hadn't stopped complaining.  He was freezing.  His trousers weren't exactly keeping the cold out now that they were ridded with holes.

Madame Bernard fussed over him as she fetched a spare pair of her husband's trrousers for him. He put them on and stood in front of the fire.  Now this was much better; no sympathy from any of them but at least he was warmer.  He glanced down at the trousers.  He couldn't expect sympathy now neither, only ridicule.  Monsieur Bernard was at least twice Goniff's width and quite a few inches taller.  The only thing holding those trousers up was Goniff's belt.

Even Garrison had to stop himself from laughing when Goniff had to haul the trousers up at the knees to be able to walk in them.

"Goniff, you'll stay here," Garrison told him.  "If we run into trouble, you wouldn't be able to get far in those."

Goniff smirked at Casino and headed back to the fire.

"We've got to meet the contact...."

"A Kraut, right?" Casino interrupted.

"Yeah, Casino.  A Kraut."  Garrison held up one hand.  "Save it till later."  He spread out the map and pointed out the rendezvous site.  "We've got to meet him here in one hour.  He gives us the plans and we leave."  Garrison looked up.  "We'll leave now, check out the area first.  That way, if someone's on to him, we should know about it before he does.  I'll meet him alone while you three keep an eye out.  Chief, I want you to get us a car, just in case we need to get out quick.  Either way, we get back here, collect Goniff and go."  He paused.  "If we get split up, make sure you're not being followed then head back here and keep your heads down.  Got it?"

The three of them nodded.

"What if the Kraut you're meetin' has set us up?" Casino demanded.

"We'll know if he's brought anyone with him.  If he has, we leave."

"Just like that?"  Casino asked.

"Yeah.  Just like that."  Garrison grinned at them, knowing that they knew he'd insist on breaking into their contact's office and taking the information they wanted if the German let them down.  "Okay, let's move out."

"Yeah, just like that," Casino said as they headed towards the door.

~*~*~*~

Goniff was pleased to be left behind.  No hiding from Jerries for him!  Just sitting by Madame Bernard's fire and keeping warm.  Although he didn't know it, it was fortunate for him that Madame Bernard was handy with a needle and had patched his trousers.  He pulled his now multi-colored trousers back on and returned his borrowed trousers to their rightful owner.

An hour had gone by.  Goniff knew that Garrison should be meeting with the Jerry now and he was starting to get nervous.  What if somethin' went wrong?  He chewed at his nails anxiously, only stopping when Madame Bernard scolded him.  He couldn't understand what she was saying but he recognized that tone of voice.  As soon as she'd gone, his hand crept up to his mouth and he resumed biting.  Then he stopped.

He could hear someone approaching the house.  No, make that more than one person.  He jumped up and ran to the door into the hallway, just as Monsieur Bernard opened it, his face white.

He grabbed Goniff's coat and pushed it into the younger man's arms, talking quickly in French.  Then he grasped his sleeve and pulled him through the doorway and to the stairs.  Madame Bernard was there, quickly pushing him up the stairs into the attic.  Downstairs, he could hear someone banging at the front door and voices shouting in German.

Madame Bernard pointed to the skylight, her French still incomprehensible to him but her meaning clear.  Goniff nodded.  Suddenly she hugged him to her, then pushed him away, gesturing urgently towards the skylight.

Goniff jumped up onto the table that stood beneath the window, unlatched it, one quick supple movement and he was through and on the roof.  He shut the skylight as quietly as he could and then hugged the roof, his heart pounding.

From the house below, he could hear the Germans - shouting, demanding - and then he heard a gunshot.  Madame Bernard's voice wailed aloud her loss.  An authoritative voice shouted above the hubbub, berating the soldier who had shot the traitor and thereby denied them the chance to gain information through torture or threats.  And Madame Bernard was dragged from the house while the soldiers searched on.

Peering over the edge of the roof, Goniff saw her go, the officer beside her.  He felt sick.  He inched his way along the roof, aiming to move over and at least be away from the skylight if the Germans opened it.  His heart was thumping loudly, so loudly he felt sure that everyone in France could hear it, but the skylight never opened and he was safe.

After a while the soldiers left the house.  Goniff didn't know where Garrison and the others were - whether they'd tried to return to the house and spotted the soldiers, or whether they'd been captured and that was why the house had been raided.  He just didn't know.

~*~*~*~

Oddly enough, Garrison's part of the mission had been a success.  The German clerk had been met.  His insistence on meeting with an American had been due to his fear of the Maquis being infiltrated with collaborators.  No one in the Maquis had met him face to face, and since Heinrich Kurnst was well aware of the punishment he would face for having betrayed the Fatherland and its mad Fuhrer, he intended to keep it that way.  The information he'd gathered and handed over to Garrison was of vital importance, so all in all, Garrison was pleased with how the mission had gone.  Until they returned to the Bernards' house.

Chief had slipped ahead, to make sure there were no surprises waiting for them.  As soon as he saw the German soldier lounging on Madame Bernard's doorstep eyeing up a local prostitute, he'd warned Garrison and the others.

Garrison was alarmed.  Until the soldiers moved out, they had no way of finding out what had happened to Goniff and the Bernards.  He knew that Marcel would be returning for them at two a.m., and it was almost one o'clock now.  Suddenly Casino nudged him, disrupting his thoughts.

"The little Limey made it - see!"

Garrison looked up.  They could just see Goniff huddled beside the chimney of the house next to the Bernards'.  If the moon hadn't come out and lit up his fair hair just as Casino glanced up, they could have stood there all night and never noticed him.

"He must be frozen solid," Actor murmured to Garrison.

"He's by the chimney - that should give him some warmth," Garrison replied, hoping that it was enough.

Chief snapped his fingers softly, jerking their attention back to the Germans who were now in the street, laughing and joking amongst themselves.  Once they'd gone, Garrison timed five minutes on his watch then sent Chief in.

Within a few minutes, Chief signalled the all clear from the window.  As quietly as quickly as they could, the three remaining men slipped across the road into the house.

~*~*~*~

"Who's that?" Garrison demanded as soon as he saw the body.

"Bernard," Actor informed him softly.  "Madame Bernard?" he queried, looking at Chief, who shook his head briefly.

"Let's get Goniff," Garrison ordered.  "Casino, you keep a look out the back.  Actor, watch for Marcel.  Chief, you're with me."

The two Americans made their way up the stairs quietly and Garrison led the way into the small attic.  If they were going to have trouble retrieving Goniff, Garrison knew that Chief would be the most surefooted on the roof.

Garrison jumped up onto the table and opened the skylight.  Grasping the window frame, he jumped up and hoisted himself high enough to see out.  Leaning out of the skylight, he could see the chimney, but couldn't spot Goniff at all.  Softly, he whistled.  And was answered by a flash of blond hair as Goniff glanced around the corner of the chimney's stack.

Goniff raised a hand in acknowledgement, and began to get to his feet.  Not an easy task, especially considering where he was, as the cold had made him stiffen up.  He'd stayed as close to the chimney as possible, but the heat from that had done little to dispel the biting cold that had surrounded him.  He stood, shivering as he left the warmth, and tried to head back towards the skylight and safety.

He slipped slightly and regained his balance with a jerk.  For a second then, he'd thought he was a goner.  Blimey, what a way to go!  Glancing up he saw that Garrison had disappeared, and Chief was now through the skylight and on the roof, carefully making his way across.

Goniff relaxed slightly.  The Indian was as surefooted as a cat.  Goniff started to edge forward again, and within a few minutes they were both by the skylight.  The shivering that Goniff was trying to control was worse now, and if Chief hadn't been so watchful, Goniff would have gone head first through the window at too great a speed.  As it was, he did go in head first, but slowly enough for Garrison to grab his shoulders and manhandle him down onto the table.

"Blimey, Warden, I thought I was done for!" Goniff said as well as he could through chattering teeth.

"The kitchen's the warmest place.  You can sit there while we wait for Marcel," Garrison answered, grabbing his arm and pulling him to his feet.

Once in the kitchen, Goniff made a beeline for the fire.

"Jeez, Limey, it just ain't been your night," Casino cracked, blinking at the sight of Goniff's brightly patched trousers.  He was relieved to see the Cockney safe and sound but he would have died rather than admit it.

Goniff hunched his shoulders.  "What about Mrs. Bernard, mate?  She ain't exactly 'ad a great time."

This silenced Casino.

Goniff glanced at Garrison.  "What's gonna 'appen to 'er?  They shot 'er 'usband - what'll they do to 'er?" he asked tersely.

"She'll be interrogated," Garrison replied, quietly.

"Then shot...like 'er 'usband."

Garrison looked at the Cockney steadily.  "If she survives the interrogation, yes."

"But...but...can't we do somethin'?  Warden, we can't just leave 'er," Goniff argued passionately.

"Goniff, I wish we could do something.  But the information I've got could save thousands of lives.  I have to get it back to England - that's our priority."

"Well, it's not mine," Goniff snapped, then sneezed.

Garrison laid one hand on the small man's forehead, and was instantly pushed away.  "You've got a fever," he said, ignoring Goniff's scowl.

"Well, it was bloody cold on that roof!" Goniff retorted.

"Then the sooner we get back to England the better!"

"How 're we gettin' out of here?" Casino asked quietly.

Garrison turned to face the safecracker with a sense of relief - at least Casino wasn't looking at him with accusing eyes.  "We're walking back to where Anton dropped us off.  He should be waiting there.  Then we drive to the coast.  We'll rendezvous with a boat there."

Goniff hunched over the fire miserably.  He knew that he couldn't save Mrs. Bernard alone, but he couldn't go off and leave her to the Germans.  Suddenly he turned back to face the others.

"Couldn't we ambush them or somethin'?  We've done it before."  He sneezed then looked at Garrison pleadingly.  "You'd never go off and leave one of us be'ind.  She's an old lady!"

"If the Resistance can save her they will," Garrison said steadily, even though he knew the Resistance would have very little chance of saving Madame Bernard from whatever fate the Germans wished to send her to.

"And if they can't...."

Garrison paused, then sighed.  They all knew the answer to that one, but Goniff seemed determined to make him say it outloud.  "Then she'll die."

Goniff turned back to the fire, his back showing what he thought of that.

And so they waited.

~*~*~*~

Marcel arrived on time.  He knew what had happened to the Bernards, but he also knew that Garrison and his men would be waiting for him inside.  The others were puzzled by his sudden omniscience, but Marcel explained, with a shrug of his shoulders, that one of his resistance fighters had witnessed the entire thing.

"I didn't see no one."  Chief frowned, his dark face disturbed by the thought of being watched and not knowing.

"Justine saw the soldiers.  She saw them leave.  She also saw you, my friend, up on the roof rescuing your friend but she did not see you leave.  So, you had to be here," he shrugged.

"Justine?"  Chief's frown remained.  "I never saw no girl hangin' 'round."

"But you saw a prostitute, no?"

"Well, yeah, but -"

"That is Justine."  Marcel said briefly.  "Garrison, are you ready to leave?"

"We're ready."

"What about Mrs. Bernard?" Goniff demanded, determined to give it one last try.  "What do we do about 'er?"

Marcel glanced at the Cockney, surprised at the hard tone in his voice.

"Madame Bernard knew the risks when she agreed to let us hide here," Garrison explained.

"So, we're just gonna go and leave 'er to it?"

Garrison looked down at the table.  He didn't want to go and leave Madame Bernard to the Germans' tender mercies, he was well aware of what that would mean, but he had to get the information back to England.  He looked up at Goniff and opened his mouth to speak, but was forestalled by Marcel.

"You need not worry about Madame Bernard, my friend.  I had people watching as she was taken to the Gestapo Headquarters.  She never made it."

"What d'you mean?"  Goniff demanded.

"Madame Bernard had a weak heart.  She is safe with God and the Germans cannot touch her," Marcel said simply.

"She had a heart attack?"  Garrison was astounded.  "But she was working for the Maquis - and she had a weak heart?"

"She considered it to be an advantage, as she knew that she would not suffer torture long if she were captured."  Marcel looked at the Cockney with sympathy in his eyes.  "It is quite right what Garrison says.  We are all aware of what will happen to us if the Germans catch us.  But what can we do?  Hide like frightened children under our blankets, or fight?  Me, I prefer to fight.  I will die to free my country, as Monsieur Bernard died."  Suddenly he stepped forward, and laid one hand on Goniff's shoulder.  "It is better to die fighting and Madame Bernard knew this.  She was a very brave woman.  Now, come.  We must leave."

~*~*~*~

The journey back through the town was made in silence, for the most part, broken only by Goniff's increasing sniffles.

As yet another sneeze disturbed the peace, Garrison was starting to get worried.  Not only on Goniff's behalf - he'd never seen him with such a bad cold - but also on theirs.  If they had to hide from a patrol and Goniff sneezed...well, they'd cross that bridge when they came to it.

They came to it.  They'd hidden down an alleyway as a group of ten or so soldiers walked past.  Luckily the soldiers were laughing and joking, and Casino had the presence of mind to throw his coat over Goniff's head and nearly suffocate the Cockney as he sneezed yet again.

"You okay?" Casino demanded, as he removed his coat.

Goniff shrugged.

They headed out of the alleyway with Chief on point again.  Casino and Goniff lagging slightly behind.

"You know, she was right.  It's better for her this way," Casino offered.  He'd never seen the Limey so upset; normally Goniff just shrugged things off.

The Cockney glanced at him, then looked away.  "I know, mate.  It's just... she was..." If only he'd been able to do something.  She could have gone back to England with them, been safe.  Maybe even gone to America.  His mum would have liked her; they were so much alike.  He tried again.  "She reminded me..."  He sighed, then sneezed.  "As soon as we get back I'm gonna write to my mum.  She'd probably like a letter off me."

Casino threw his arm around Goniff's shoulders.  He understood.  After all, he had a mother too.

The End
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