by Arnie
"Shut yer eyes, shut yer eyes!" Goniff insisted excitedly.
Casino shut his eyes, his grin becoming apparent. He'd guessed they'd got him a cake - probably baked by Mrs. McCoy, the Mansion cook. Fortunately for him (actually, fortunately for all of them), she had returned the day before to take up her duties. Her temporary replacement had barely been able to tell the difference between a ladle and a knife, and their meals had suffered badly as a result. Casino heard a cupboard door shut and then the clatter of a plate on the table in front of him.
"Blow out the candle!" Garrison smiled, barely able to stop himself from laughing. He couldn't wait until Casino saw the cake.
Casino opened his eyes and stared at the cake in front of him. It was small, very small. Actually, the word tiny just about summed it up. A tiny, pink iced, crumbly fairy cake, with a large candle stuck on top. He thought it looked as if it was about to topple over, but restrained his disappointment. Mrs. McCoy had only returned the day before, perhaps none of their black market contacts had been able to supply any contraband in time... "It looks great," he said, lying through his teeth.
Disappointment flickered in his friends' eyes, but Casino didn't see that as he blew out the candle. They'd expected an explosion of "What the Hell?" at the very least.
Actor decided to help things along slightly. "Lieutenant, would you like to cut the cake?" he asked, keeping his face as straight as possible.
"Huh?" Garrison looked blankly at the tall Italian, then realised what he was up to. "Oh, sure. Let me cut it."
"I'll pour tea," Goniff offered. "Can't 'ave a piece o' cake, without a cup o' Rosie to wash it down with!"
"Sure, you be 'Mother'," Chief murmured wickedly.
Goniff threw him a glance and passed around the cups as Garrison cut the cake carefully. The slivers of cake he arranged on the side plates were minute but Casino refused to react.
"Actor?" Garrison offered him a crumb of cake and smiled steadily.
"Oh, I don't think I should. I don't think I'd be able to manage it all," Actor claimed, shaking his head sadly.
Goniff choked into his teacup, earning himself a fiery glance from Casino. He straightened his face, and wiped the tea from his face calmly. "Same 'ere, Warden. I mean, that cake could feed the army for a month!"
Casino's fury built. Were they blind?
Garrison shrugged slightly. "Well, if you want to miss out on one of Mrs. McCoy's masterpieces...Chief?"
The Indian looked at the cake. "Thanks, Warden, but you know I never eat."
"Oh, that's right, I forgot. Well, Casino, do you think we're up to the task of finishing off this cake? Mrs. McCoy would be disappointed if we left any."
That was it, that was the final straw. Casino shoved his chair back with an angry gesture. "Left any? Left any? What could we possibly leave from that cake? Even the candle's bigger than it is - it's the smallest cake I've ever seen in my life! And you, you never eat! Ha! Who finished off all the sausages this morning at breakfast?" Chief had the grace to blush slightly, but Casino ignored him and carried on. "And you!" He waved a finger in Goniff's direction. "Feed an army for a month - what army? An army of mice?"
Goniff tried to interrupt, but Casino ignored him, swung around to face Actor and Garrison and found himself looking at the magnificent chocolate cake they were holding between them.
"I can't believe we got the wrong cake out of the cupboard," Garrison said, in a surprised and innocent voice.
"Maybe it was 'idin' be'ind the pink one," Goniff offered, grinning.
"That must be it," Actor agreed, a smile on his face. "That pink fairy cake took up a lot of space."
Casino shut his mouth and sit down. He could tell when he'd been had.
The End
