I don't want to have anything more to do with you, but alas, that cannot be. Very soon you will become an extension of a different, most important part of my life. Death by association.
I cannot and will not waste anymore of my time worrying or thinking about this, about you. Do what you want. You always did anyway. I thought that despite all that happened we could still be friends, because somehow, you were different than the others. I see now I was wrong. You aren't different at all. You're so much like the same that I was able to predict and foresee your short comings a mile away long ago. I just hoped and prayed I was wrong.
I hate it when I'm right.
I've already lost so much these past years. What's one or two more people? So go ahead, keep your secrets, your lies. Your "omissions" that you think might be protecting me. They only hurt you in the end. Why is it that you think because you have so much more "experience" in relationships that you think you "know" more about them than I? All I see on my end is one broken relationship after another, and someone who continues to hurt themselves intentionally by going back.
Keep your "experience." I prefer Quality over Quantity any day of the week. I don't care what your "score" is. This isn't like Football or Basketball, where you win the game by having the most points. If anything and by any stupid sport analogy, this is more like golf. It's the skill, the ability to get a hole-in-one. Ironically, in this game, the one with the less points wins. Keep your high-and-mighty attitude. Save your "you don't know what you're talking about" pedantic babbling. The overused and trite "You're just jealous/bitter" garbage. If you truly believed that then I don't know what I ever saw in you. You obviously never knew me at all. Bear in mind that a bitter person can still have 20/20 vision. A defensive person sees no offense, doesn't even care about the other side (of the issue). They only see what they want to see, and hear only what they want to hear.
I don't want your pity. I can't believe I can be so stupid and openly honest with those who could care less. Give me a break.
Here's a tip for you, some free advice, from someone who has absolutely no experience whatsoever. I've figured out a secret to happiness, and you can do with it what you will:
History repeats itself.
That's it. Think long, deep, and hard about that. Use that and incorporate that into every aspect of your life, and you'll avoid many pitfalls, and you will continue to grow as a person. If you continue to let your past rule you, if you continue to repeat history, you will fail everytime as you did before. Nothing will change. You will not move forward.
None of this probably makes sense to you. Coincidentally that's the entire point to this whole thing. None of it ever made any sense to you, did it? Nothing I ever said or did had any meaning or impact. Whatever. I'm sorry I wasted my breath and my time. I'm sorry I'm a poor substitute for what you're really looking for. Don't insult my intelligence by assuming I'm clueless. I know more than you think. Don't further insult my intelligence by patronizing me, or telling me that I'm a nice guy. You want to be my friend? Be honest. Don't tell me you're honest and trustworthy, saying that trust is paramount to you, then keep secrets from me and tell others how I feel. I've said it before, I hate hypocrisy above all else. Don't feed me the same tired line of "I'm looking for someone nice and honest and who won't use me" when you forget to add "also nice looking, possibly athletic." If you say you want someone nice, or you say looks don't matter, MEAN IT. If you can't be held at your word, what good are you?
Anyway, I'm done ranting. I'm just done in general. I should take my own advice and stop letting history repeat itself. Heaven knows I've made this mistake many times before and I'm still learning. Drama and crap, both crammed down my throat whether I want it or not.
