Well worthless or not, I do this mostly to consume my free time, which I haven't had a whole lot of lately. Work is alright, but the 3rd shifts can be taxing to someone who likes to sleep. I haven't been able to spend much time with my friends, which is kind of sad, but I do need the money. I become lazy when I have a couple of days off, usually sitting in front of my computer or sleeping most of the time. I keep saying this but I'm hoping someday it'll stick, heh: I need to excercise more...eating healthy wouldn't/isn't too big of a problem for me since I can do that with little trouble...as a matter of fact I hardly eat at all surprisingly, but when I do it's mostly junk food. I do, however, like a lot of healthy foods as well, so to replace the "bad" food with "good" food wouldn't be too difficult. It's that darn excercising part that gets me. Last summer I was doing good; I starting a routine where I'd walk a certain distance each day, and gradually increase the distance/time of walking. I fell out of that routine, however, when it started getting colder outside. Ah well, I have a pool now, and I hear swimming is also good excercise so perhaps doing X number of laps each day, and increasing, might be a good way to start an excercise regime.
Onto other news...I finished up my Spring classes a couple of weeks ago (except for my distance learning class which continues through August)...I recieved a 4.0 in my Psychology Lab and 3.5 in my Psychology class. Not bad at all. Unfortunately because of the one or two classes I had to take over the last couple of years, the way I figured my overall GPA once I finish this semester, I will sadly drop just below the 3.0 average I had been struggling to maintain...I hope to pop it back up over that 3.0 (and hopefully much more) this fall. Even if I got a 4.0 in my distance learning class, my GPA will be approx. something around a 2.945 or whatever. Bummer.
My heartfelt prayers go out to those in London. It is a terrible thing to lose so many people in such a needless and violent act.
I guess it just goes to show you that no matter how bad your life might seem, there's always someone else out there who has it worse than you do.
It really is quite interesting, but I look back (and as the cliche goes, hindsight is always 20/20) and see how miserable I was...or more to the point, how miserable I made myself, and how awesome my friends were during this time. There were times when I thought my life was worthless and I would complain to my friends...I would constantly tell them my life sucked and I refused to see otherwise...yet they continued to support me and give me great advice. I have had to sit where they sat a couple of times before in the past, and I have to say, I want to not only apologize to all those I complained to, but also to express my utter gratitude at your patience and support. You have no idea how much you helped me...and I see now my life wasn't that bad at all. It's funny, emotions have a way of blinding a person to everything around them...much like love does. A person will be unable to see anything ahead of them if they continue to focus on what's in front of their face. Logic professors and mathematicians alike will tell you basically the same thing (also paraphrased/excerpted from "Patch Adams"): If you are unwilling to look past the problem you will fail to see the solution. Look beyond it.
Life doesn't suck. Life is what you make of it. You can either choose to accept the hand you've been dealt and make the best of it, or you can sit and wallow in self-pity and watch life pass you by. I guarantee you there are those out there who have it worse than you.
I thought people would never be able to understand the pain I was going through. I thought noone could understand me, and what I needed was physical, intimate, human contact. You see, if you only think that having someone to hold you physically and intimately will help you, then you are blinded and cannot see what lies ahead. You are trapped by your own body's physcial wants and needs. You have to try and move beyond that, and see that God, friends, family, and even strangers can help you overcome your pain...you don't need physical and intimate contact, you need emotional and spiritual contact. If you refuse to seek help and advice from others, even if they are strangers, you are only allowing yourself to remain hurt and stuck in the past. You would be doing it to yourself, and it would be noone's fault but your own.
Yes, I've learned a lot from the past. I couldn't see it then, but there was so much I was missing out on and so much I had learned from my "pain" and anguish. If God was not in my life then, and now, I would not have survived. A physical relationship with a person isn't everything, but an intimate, spiritual relationship with Him, is. I've learned to accept being single as part of God's plan...
...how about you? Have you accepted that there are certain things in this world that you cannot change, but can only change the way you react to them? Crap happens...it's not God's fault. He didn't promise us He would keep anything bad from happening to us...we as sinners don't deserve that...but He did promise He'd be there to hold us...
A nice segway into this song, haha:
"Held" sung by: Natalie Grant
Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.
Who told us we�d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We�re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It�s unfair.
Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we�d be held.
This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred NUMB our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.
(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we�d be held.
Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?
(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we�d be held.
Anyways, that's all I have to say about that...
ciao!
