I wish I could be a fly on your wall
Are you really alone
Who's stealin' your dreams
Why can't I bring you into my life
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive
[Chorus]
If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)
Saw your face in the crowd
I call out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could read what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life
[Chorus]
If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)
I reach out
But you don't even see me
Even when I'm scream out
Baby, you don't hear me
I am nothing without you
Just a shadow passing through...
[Repeat Chorus]
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
I know this is titled (or the "header" reads) February 13th, but that's when I started working on it (at work) and haven't had a chance to finish it until today (Valentine's Day of all days...go figure).
So I told myself I wasn't going to get depressed this Valentine's Day/night...oh well, better luck next year, haha.
I think I know what's wrong with me. It's almost so obvious I'm kind of surprised I didn't realize it sooner. I'm in love. More specifically, I'm in love with love itself. I can't see any other explanation. Just think about it though...there is no greater feeling in the world than love...it's almost addicting. I think that's why I feel the way I do all the time, because I'm always in love (with love, hah, if that makes sense). I love feeling in love, even though it hurts me more in the end, it's a great feeling. It has become addicting to where I can't imagine my life not being in love.
Unfortunately that also means there isn't a cure. It is a blessing and a curse...to know love [unconditionally] is to know God, but when unrequited, it is also very painful. Perhaps I'm a masochist of a sort, since I seem to love pain so much...emotional pain anyway.
I'll get over it, I always do. I dunno...it almost seems stupid to worry about such things, but then, other times it seems paramount that I find someone. Who knows. I try so hard but I haven't been able to find any girls around here who want a guy just for his personality. They all want looks, and some even want guys who do drugs and such...so you can understand why I feel like it's a hopelessly lost cause for me because I've failed on every attempt with the girls around here. There's nothing I can really do about that except move from town to town and try my luck all over the U.S. which I'm not about to do...(yet).
Well, anyway, just felt like typing and adding to my Journal...bye.
