A. Because then he wouldn't have anything to do in the afternoon.
Rescued
The fireman climbs the ladder to the bedroom of a burning house, and there he finds a curvaceous brunette, "Ah", he says, "you are the third pregnant girl I've rescued this month".
"But, I'm not pregnant!"
"You're not rescued yet!"
Getting Dressed In The Dark
A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed.
Just then, his wife sleepily sat up and said, "Lou, dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."
"Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across the dark room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.
As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the druggist, "I know you - aren't you a policeman? Officer Rhoades, right?"
"Yeah, so?" said the officer.
"Well what the heck are you doing all dressed like the Fire Chief?"
Q. What does CHAOS stand for?
A. The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.
If H 2 0 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
K 9 P
Why do firemen wear "red" suspenders? To hold up their pants. Duh.
How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change the bulb and 3 to chop a hole in the roof.
Why should you avoid using the bathroom after the chief? Two words: Butt pimples!!
Barn Fire
A blonde calls this rural fire department all excited. She says, "Come quick my barns on fire, my barn's on fire." The dispatcher says, "Calm down now just tell us how to get there." She says, "Oh, don't you have that big red truck anymore?"
Q. A fireman had two sons. What did he name them?
A. Hosea and Hoseb
Q. How do you put out a fire?
A. Take away one part of the fire tetrahedron, or the chief.
The Brain Bank
It seems there was a woman who received some bad news. Her husband had been in an automobile accident and was brain dead. The doctor told her some good news, though. They had perfected their brain transplant technique and that she was lucky there were three fresh brains in the brain bank from which to choose.
A large explosion had killed a firefighter, a captain and a chief. Having insurance, she requested the cost for each of the brains. The firefighter's brain was $10,000, the captain's brain was $50,000 and the chief was a MILLION DOLLARS! Curious, she asked why the chief's brain was so much more expensive.
The reply.... you see the chief's brain has never been used!
Returning back to the station after a 4 alarm fire:
"Nothing new to report captain, the LOT was saved."
The Chief
A fire chief died and went to heaven.
When he got there he saw a long line waiting to get in to the pearly gates.
He told himself, "I am a fire chief, I'm not going to wait in line."
He went to the angels guarding the gates and said, "Let me in, I'm a fire chief."
The angels replied, "You'll have to wait in line like everyone else, sir."
While waiting at the back of the line he saw a sedan pull up with red lights and a man got out wearing a white helmet that said "CHIEF." The angels popped to attention and let the chief enter heaven. The waiting fire chief was really upset now and went to talk to the angels.
He asked, "Why did you let that fire chief go through and not me?"
To which the angels replied, "You have it all wrong, sir. That's GOD, he just thinks he's a fire chief."