Sound on tape.

Annoying and repetitious accordion music plays to begin an Avanti’s style commercial parody.

Singer
(with an Italian accent)
Pachelli’s has so many choices.
We can only think of two.
Spaghetti and ravioli...

Music continues after the singer abruptly stops. This goes on for a while.

Announcer
(same accent)
Sure, we could have lots of pastas... but we don’t.

Singer
Remember to eat at Pachelli’s.
We got botulism too.

Announcer 2
(without accent)
Visit one of our twelve locations
in the metropolitan area.

Singer
Our waitresses are skanky hoes.
And our cooks are crack heads too.

End music.