All on stage.

Jeremy
Well, we hope you’ve enjoyed our
summer productions of Manic-Depressive Theater.
I can’t believe we’re already done.

Ben
I know, It all went by so quickly.

Marty
How did we let it come to this?

Lacy
Well, Joseph’s gonna call me a Dim-witted Moron.

Joseph
No, Lacy. It’s Half-Assed Hormone.

Lacy
You son of a bitch! (SLAP)

Marty
Hey, Hey! Let’s settle down here.
I don’t want the show to fall apart.
I put a lot of time and commitment
into this thing. I missed
football practice for you guys.

Ben
Why don’t you just quit football,
ya stupid jock.

Jeremy
Look who’s talkin’ Mr. Speech Camp!

Ben
Look, ya Scott Weiland lookin’
piece-a-crap. I got four dates at
speech camp. Which I had to
cancel to do this show.

Lacy
Oh come on Ben. If sex were bricks,
and every woman in this theater
had a brick. It’s pretty safe to say,
you won’t be getting hit
with any bricks tonight.

Ben
I’ll show you “hit with bricks”

Marty
(to Joseph)
Look what you started.

Joseph
Your gonna put this on me?

Jeremy
I still haven’t found my lucky boxers yet!

Joe
YOU’RE TEARING ME APART!
You, you say one thing
and he says something else,
and it comes back again!

Ben
Stay out of this Mr. Big Shot.

Joe
But I am involved...
We are all involved.
Can’t you see what’s
happening here? We’re
gonna break up here,
tonight. And nothing we
can do will change that.

Joseph
According to ziggy,
there’s a 10% change we
get back together by the
end of the show.

Joe
Oh boy.

Jeremy
Great, Joe’s Leaping again.

Marty
10% my ass.
I’m outta here.

Jeremy
Yeah, let’s go start
up some more bands.

Jeremy and Marty exit.
Ben starts to walk off.

Lacy
Where are you going?

Ben
I’m gonna beat the bricks

Ben exits.

Lacy
Well that’s a great show
you guys put together.

Joe
(More Rebel Without a Cause dialogue.)

Joe exits.

Joseph
Alone at last.

Lacy kicks him in the crotch.

Lacy
It’ll be a cold day in
December when I perform
for these pigs again!

Lacy exits

Joseph
Joe, can I get
a ride home!

Joseph exits
Light fade.