Sound on tape.

Dad.......Ben
Son.......Jeremy
Annnouncer.......Joe

Rhythmic sounds of thumping and creaking are heard.

Dad
What is that noise? (Rhythms increase)
What the... that’s coming from Jake’s room.
(Door creaks, rhythms stop, girl screams)

Jake
Dad!

Dad
Jiminy Christmas! Son, what do you think you’re doing with that girl?!

Jake
Dad, wait! I can explain.

Dad
Explain? Explain this?! Try explaining something like this to your mother! How could you do this, son? Why would you do this? Where did you learn to do such a thing?

Jake
(very dramatically)
From you, Dad! I learned it from watching you!

Announcer
When it comes to abstinence, don’t be a hypocrite. Practice what you preach. A message from the Self-Love Alliance. Brought to you by Trojan Condoms.

-Prodution note: The bug up the ACT's ass made us change Trojan Condoms to Roman Prophylactics.