Tiger

By Amanda Wray

 

 

In what distant deeps or skies

Burnt the fire of thine eyes?

On what wings dare he aspire?

What the hand dare seize the fire?

 

--The Tyger, William Blake

 

Chapter One

 

            Tiger sat crosslegged on her unmade bed, uncaring that the dried mud on the heels of her boots was making a mess she would have to clean up later. Her eyes were closed lightly, and her hands rested gently in her lap. Her full concentration was on the pinkish-hued sphere she knew was floating in front of her. Her mind’s eye struggled to form the scene, tried to push back the thoughts and images that threatened to distract her.

 

            The scene was slow in forming. When it did come, it shimmered and rippled and threatened to disappear altogether, but Tiger wouldn’t let it. She focused on the well, its stone sides shining smoothly in the pale flickering light. She tried to make it as real as she knew it was, almost wet-looking in its smoothness until its sides disappeared into a floor of the blackest black. And the water, mirror-like in its tranquility. It took on an orangish hue, offset by the flickering torchlight.

 

            The water. . . Something was wrong with the water. Tiger didn’t quite know what it was. She tried to maintain her relaxation, to let the picture set itself right naturally, but instead she found herself losing concentration altogether. The scene dimmed into black and white, and her concentration broke as she struggled to bring color back. The picture swirled and dissolved, leaving nothing but darkness behind Tiger’s closed eyelids.

 

            Tiger opened her eyes and looked at the sphere in front of her. It was nothing but a ball of pink swirls, now. A moment ago, Tiger knew, it had held the imperfect image of the Well Chamber.  She extended her hand and let herself reabsorb the energy. The ball slowly dissipated. Tiger lay back on her bed, and came to a realization.

 

            She was going to fail this afternoon’s examination.

 

            Not a moment later there was a knock on her door. Tiger sat up, knowing who that would be. “Come in!” she called.

 

            A child’s head poked into her room. “Are you practicing?” he asked.

 

            “I was, but you didn’t interrupt. Come on in, Sunshine.”

 

            The little boy came fully into the room, closing the door behind him. He climbed up onto Tiger’s bed and sat dangling his feet over the side. “Watch me,” he said.

 

            Sunshine closed his eyes and concentrated. In a minute the pink sphere formed, hovered for a moment, and then disappeared.

 

            Tiger put an arm around him, squeezing his shoulders. “That was very good, Sunshine!”

 

            Sunshine beamed at the compliment. It was not too different from his normal expression. “I practiced all week. I even stayed up past my bedtime and practiced when everyone thought I was asleep. I bet Mentor Second Class will be proud of me. Do you think she will be?”

 

            “I’m sure she will even give you a commendation,” Tiger said encouragingly.

 

            “What about you, do you think you will get a commendation, too?” Sunshine asked, making the bed bounce in his excitement.

 

            “Well, I don’t know. . .” Tiger said, aware that a demerit was more likely in order for her once Mentor Third Class saw her performance.

 

            Sunshine looked troubled, catching her tone of voice. Then he noticed the mud that had caked off onto her sheets. “You were in the gardens all morning, weren’t you!” he said, disappointed.

 

            Tiger was about to deny it, but then Sunshine reached over and picked the tiger lily out of her long and somewhat unkempt auburn hair.

 

“You promised me you would work harder. You promised.”

 

            “I know, Sunshine, I know. . .”Tiger said guiltily. “But I’ll do fine, honest. I was just practicing.”

 

            Sunshine twirled the wilting tiger lily between his fingers. It was rare that Tiger saw him this upset. “But what if they send you home? Then you won’t be able to be my sister any more!”

 

            “Honey, they aren’t going to send me home,” Tiger comforted. “Besides, I’ll always be your sister.”

 

            Sunshine’s soulful blue eyes gazed up at her. “Promise? Really promise?”

 

            “I promise.”

 

            “Okay.” He smiled. “Will you meet me after the examination? I’ll wait for you.”

 

            “Absolutely.” Tiger ruffled Sunshine’s curly blonde hair as he rose to go.

 

            Sunshine headed out into the corridor, throwing an admonishing “Practice!” over his shoulder as he closed the door. His stern demeanor seemed uncharacteristic for an eight-year-old.

 

            Tiger sighed, resumed her crosslegged position, and closed her eyes.

 

 

 

                                                            *            *            *

 

 

            “I don’t understand this,” Mentor Third Class was saying. “You are perhaps the most talented student I’ve had in years -- decades! -- and yet you constantly disappoint me! Why are you doing this to yourself? If you applied yourself, you could become one of the top sorceresses this age has ever known! There are people your age who would give anything to have the kind of talent and opportunity that you apparently take for granted! How long did you practice this week? An hour? Two?”

 

            Mentor Third Class paused for breath after what was perhaps a rhetorical question, but Tiger thought it might be best to answer anyway. “Well, actually. . .” Tiger managed, lowering her gaze, “It was really closer to twenty minutes.” It wasn’t fair, she thought. There were plenty of students who hadn’t done nearly as well as she had, yet still the Mentor kept her in his office, just because he expected more out of her.

 

            Mentor sat back in his chair with an indignant look on his face. ‘Twenty minutes,” he repeated in disbelief. “Twenty minutes?”

 

            “It could have been twenty-five,” Tiger said miserably.

 

            “Well, what do you think I ought to do with you, child?”

 

            Tiger hated it when he asked that, and he had asked it often enough. “Are you going to send me home?”

 

            “Do you want me to send you home?”

 

            “No.” It was a familiar dialogue. Tiger hated it.

 

            “Then I suggest you get back to your room and practice. I will reschedule your examination for the day after tomorrow. I suggest you use your time wisely. Dismissed.”

 

            Tiger rose from her chair, trying to act as though she were obeying with alacrity without seeming overly hasty in her departure. “Yes, sir. I will.”

 

            Tiger exited, the expression on her face one of meek determination, for the Mentor’s benefit. Sunshine was sitting across the corridor against the wall, with his knees drawn up under his chin. He rose hastily as she came out.

 

            “What did he say?” he asked worriedly after she had closed the door behind her. “Was he mad?”

 

            “Not really,” Tiger lied. “He just told me to go practice and said he’d reschedule my examination for the day after tomorrow.”

 

            “He rescheduled your examination?” Sunshine repeated. “Rescheduled it?”

 

            “Yes. . . Why?” Tiger asked as they walked down the hall.

 

            Sunshine shrugged and put his small hand in hers. “I’ve just never heard of an examination being rescheduled,  is all.”

 

            “I guess I’m just lucky,” Tiger said dryly.

 

            “Are you going back to your room?” Sunshine asked, as they came to an intersecting corridor.

 

            “No. . . I thought I’d go to the Well Chamber and sit for a while.”

 

            “You’re not just going to daydream, are you?”

 

            “You’re starting to sound as bad as the Mentor!” Tiger chided lightly. “Of course I’m not going to daydream. I just want to see if I can get a better feel for it so I can recreate it better. I can’t seem to get the water right.”

 

            “The water?” Sunhsine asked dubiously. “It’s just ordinary water.”

 

            “I know, but I just can’t seem to get it right.”

 

            “Can I come? Just for a minute? I don’t feel like going back to my room. Deer will be there, and he didn’t do well on his examination.”

 

            “Maybe you should see if you can cheer him up,” Tiger suggested, turning a corner that led to the Well Chamber.

 

            “But you don’t know how he gets when he’s upset! He might throw something at me if I go in there now! He gets as bad as you!” Sunshine protested.

 

            “That’s pretty bad,” Tiger agreed, laughing. “Okay, come on, but only for a little while. You’re not supposed to be there any more than I am.”

 

            By now they had ascended the dark, tightly spiraled staircase in the unused section of the school that led to the Well Chamber. “Then why do you come here so often?” Sunshine asked as Tiger pushed open the heavy Chamber doors.

 

            “It’s peaceful. I like to sit and think.”

 

            “It’s spooky,” Sunshine said, looking around the dim, dusty chamber whose only adornment was the round pool of water in its center. As an afterthought he added, although not accusatory, “You think too much. You think in the gardens, too. What do you think about so much?”

 

            “Oh, different things,” Tiger said, sitting down on the edge of the well. Sunshine sat next to her. “For someone who was Named Sunshine, I’ve heard more worries out of you today than in the past two years.”

 

            “I just worry about you, is all,” he said in his normal, off-hand way.

 

            “What would I do without you to worry about me?” Tiger teased. “I guess I wouldn’t have anyone to make me practice my twenty minutes a week.”

 

            Sunshine gave her a look bordering on disgust. “If that’s all you practiced this week, I’m surprised you aren’t packing your bags right now.”

 

            Tiger sat, brooding for a while. After a while, she asked, “How come we’re friends, Sunshine?”

 

            “Because I don’t get along with the kids my age and you don’t get along with the kids your age. And I wanted a big sister and you wanted a little brother,” Sunshine answered easily.

 

            “I mean, did you ever wonder why kids aren’t friends with adults? Have you ever had a friend who was an adult? They can be parents, or Mentors, but never just friends. They always have to pull rank on you.”

 

            Sunshine kicked his feet, considering. “This is what you think about in the gardens all morning?” Tiger could tell he was pondering the question, though. Finally he shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe they just don’t have much in common. And maybe the Mentor would be your friend if you didn’t give him cause to yell at you all the time!” he added playfully as he rose to go.

 

            Tiger’s mind had already moved on to another question, as she stared into the pool of water. It still didn’t seem quite right, even in person. Tiger closed her eyes. She heard Sunshine’s footsteps receding and the groaning creak and slam as the oak doors opened and closed. Tiger kept her eyes closed, knowing that she was now alone.

 

            Tiger was always more comfortable when she was alone. She had a way of sensing when there was truly no one nearby, even when she could not hear or see anyone. Sometimes she could sense others’ thoughts on her, strange as the ability might seem. But now there was no one, nothing but peacefulness. Sunshine’s thoughts were no longer on her; probably he was thinking about his impending encounter with his roommate, Deer.

 

            Tiger crossed her legs and let herself relax. She banished Sunshine and the Mentor’s disappointed looks from the fringes of her consciousness, and settled down to the task at hand in earnest. The task was one of the first steps in learning the art of teleportation. It was an art that most people who came here never learned -- it was too hard, too much work, and most people simply lacked the talent. Being able to form an image of your destination -- first in your mind and then with the Source -- was the most critical part of the process. If you didnt know your destination inside and out, or weren’t concentrating fully, the teleportation wouldn’t work. Or, you could end up somewhere different from the intended destination. And once or twice in recent memory, an unlucky person had attempted teleportation and had never been seen or heard from again. People rarely spoke of these isolated incidences. Those one or two people must have ended up somewhere in Meraindon. . . after all, there was nowhere else to go.

 

            Becoming intimately familiar with your destination in person, before the attempted teleportation, was essential. That was one reason why Tiger had chosen the Well Chamber -- she came here quite often; also,  it was simple, unadorned, and unchanging. Ideal for practicing teleportation, Tiger had thought. Only, she was having problems.

 

            The water. Tiger concentrated on the water. In her mind, she heard it lap against the sides of the well. She extended herself to the water, letting herself ebb and flow with the ripples. The water made a hollow, almost musical plunking sound as it touched the smooth sides of the well.

 

            There was definitely something different today. Tiger usually came to the Well Chamber as a retreat. She loved the feel of the water in her mind. When she concentrated she could feel the deep stillness of the water down in the very pit of her soul, it seemed. But today there was no respite, no escape from the turmoil of the conscious mind.  In her mind the water lapped gently, somehow both soothing and disturbing.

 

            Tiger opened her eyes. She looked into the well. The water still moved, radiating out in circles, as if someone were tossing invisible pebbles into the shimmering depths. Tiger looked around. She could feel no breeze, see no disturbance. Indeed, there was nothing to cause a disturbance here; there were no windows to the outside at all. The only light came from the flickering torches set in sconces on the walls.

 

            Tiger closed her eyes, readying herself for another attempt. This time she let the Source come, holding it ready at her fingertips.

 

            Tiger opened her eyes, startled, feeling a familiar tickling in the back of her mind: someone was near, quite near, and aware of her presence here. She tensed, looking towards the door, thinking Sunshine had returned. She turned her head, listening for his soft step, but heard nothing.

 

            Tiger rose, letting go of the Source, and opened the creaky doors that led out into the hallway and the castle proper. There was no one.

 

            The prickly sensation was still there. Tiger hesitated, in a moment of indecision, glancing back at the well and its gently rippling waters. Then she shrugged to herself, and stepped out into the corridor. She would check in on Sunshine, and then the two of them would proceed to the dining hall. It was almost the dinner hour, Tiger realized, her stomach rumbling.  Examinations had been a lengthy procedure, with each student needing to be tested individually, and Tiger had been one of the last called.

 

            Tiger let the doors shut softly behind her and walked down the corridor to the flight of stairs that led down to the living quarters of the school. As she descended the steep staircase, the prickling sensation faded dimmer and dimmer. Tiger paused, with a backwards glance up the twisting staircase.  Definitely curious hat the thoughts she felt would fade rather than intensify as she walked away from solitude and into the hustle and bustle of dinner hour at the academy.

 

                        *                                              *                                              *

                       

            Tiger found Sunshine sitting quietly outside his door, knees drawn up under his chin. He looked up as she approached, but remained seated on the stone floor.

 

            “What are you doing?” Tiger asked as she drew near.

 

            “Nothing,” Sunshine answered calmly.

 

            “Why can”t you do nothing inside your room?” Tiger asked, leaning against the wall and looking down at him.

 

            Sunshine craned his neck to gaze up at her.  “Deer won’t let me. He locked the door.”

 

            “He locked you out?” Tiger asked indignantly.

 

            “Yes,” Sunshine said matter-of-factly. “He doesn’t want anyone around while he has his tantrum.”

 

            “I see,” Tiger said. “Why didn”t you come up to me? I would have given you my key, so you could wait in my room.” One of the advantages of being Third Class was that she did not have to put up with a roommate.

 

            Sunshine shrugged amiably. He didn’t seem to mind twelve-yeard-old Deer’s frequent temper tantrums. Sunshine himself never cried -- at least not that Tiger had ever seen.

 

            “Well, come on, let’s go to dinner. I’m hungry,” Tiger said, straightening from her slouch against the wall. “Maybe Deer will have pulled himself together by the time we get back.”

 

            Sunshine held out his hands, and Tiger pulled him to his feet. Together they walked down the corridor.

 

            “So how’d it go? Did you get the water right?” Sunshine asked as they walked.

 

            Tiger shook her head absently. “No. . .  I don’t know. . .” She paused, remembering the odd sensation she had felt. “Where you thinking about me?” she asked.

 

            Sunshine glanced up at her, then shook his head. He knew about the way she could tell when someone was thinking about her, and he accepted it just as he accepted all of the other oddities about her.  “No,” he said. “Did you feel someone?”

 

            Tiger nodded, considering. “It was strong. Like the way I feel you when something’s wrong and you want me to come. Or when someone’s real close.”

 

            Sunshine shrugged. “Wasn’t me. And there wasn’t anyone around?”

 

            “No.”

 

            “Weird,” Sunshine commented, and Tiger let the subject drop. They were nearing the dining hall, and more and more students filled the corridors. Tiger didn’t want any of them overhearing her conversation. They already thought she was odd enough.

 

            It wasn’t that Tiger didn’t like the other students, exactly; it was just that she didn’t seem to have much in common with them. They lived life on the surface, externally, it seemed; while she sought refuge internally, looking for things on the inside. She sought knowledge, and to understand things which they apparently didn’t care for; while they sought weekend passes off campus to attend parties and dances, which things seemed unimportant and unappealing to Tiger. What was so evident to her needed to be painstakingly pointed out to them, and vice versa. None of them understood her. She had the feeling that even given the chance they would not wish to understand her. It was much easier to judge and dismiss. Sunshine was the only friend she had here, aside from the flowers and trees and animals. Sunshine tried to understand her, even when she couldn’t understand herself.

 

            Now he tugged at her arm. “This okay?” he asked -- for the second time, she realized as she snapped out of her reverie -- indicating a vacant area in the corner of the dining hall. Sunshine, as well as Tiger, preferred to eat his meals with as little unwanted company as possible. It was fairly easy to find an empty or sparsely populated table; the school, a converted castle, had been meant for a much wider attendance than it currently held. There were just not as many young people with the drive to tap the Source as there once had been, and fewer with actual talent for it.

 

            Tiger nodded, pulled out a chair opposite Sunshine, and sat.

 

            It wasn’t long before the meal was served. Apron clad kitchen-help walked between the long tables, placing steaming dishes on each. Many of the cooks were getting on in years, having been loyal servants here before Ashwood Castle had been converted to The Ashwood School, more than forty years before. Mr. Ashwood had been, according to generally accepted rumor, a rather eccentric miser with quite a fascination for the Source and how it worked. The castle had been converted according to his wishes, upon his death.

 

            A rather large cook waddled up to the table Tiger and Sunshine occupied, and set three covered dishes on it. Meals here always consisted of three portions. The food was actually much better than students usually liked to give it credit for.

 

            Sunshine leaned over and used a linen napkin to uncover the dishes: sliced roast turkey with gravy, mashed potatoes, and slices of bread.

 

            Sunshine helped himself to small portions of everything, eyeing the mashed potatoes warily. He was a picky eater.

 

            Tiger helped herself, but didn’t begin to eat right away. She stared absently at the wall next to her, swirling her finger around in her ice water for a moment. The ice plink-plinked against the side of the glass, reminding her of the eerie, unsettling ripples in the well water.

 

            Sunshine looked up from where he was inspecting his mashed potatoes for lumps. “Want me to help you?” he asked, a curious expression in his eyes.

 

            Tiger shifted her gaze to him, and pulled her finger out of her water. “Help me what?”                   

 

            Sunshine shrugged. “Do whatever it is you’re thinking of doing.”

 

            “I’m not. . .” Tiger began, and paused. She had been toying with an idea, one that hadn’t made itself quite clear to her yet. “I don’t know. . . I was just going to go back to the Well Chamber later, is all.”

 

            “Why?” Sunshine asked, taking a tentative bite of his mashed potatoes.

 

            “I have no idea,” Tiger said cheerfully, picking up two slices of bread. Sunshine watched with a look bordering on horror as she scooped up her mashed potatoes and patted them carefully onto a piece of bread. Then she picked up her turkey slices and laid them on top, pausing to lick her fingers of the gravy that dribbled down them. Tiger placed the remaining slice of bread on top to complete the sandwich, then lifted it gingerly with both hands and took a large bite.

 

            Sunshine had watched the entire procedure, transfixed. Now he wrinkled his nose. “That’s icky.”

 

            Tiger grinned at him around the mouthful. “No, it’s good,” she said. “Try some.”

 

            Sunshine leaned backwards as she offered him a bite. When the offending creation had been safely returned to Tiger’s plate, he went back to cutting his turkey into tiny pieces, which he ate bite by painstaking bite.

 

            Tiger finished her meal quickly and pushed back her chair. “I’m going back up to the Well Chamber. You coming?”

 

            Sunshine swallowed a tiny bite of turkey and pointed to his plate. “Not done.” He looked up and took a lazy sip of water. “Don’t be late to the Service, like you were last night,” he cautioned, before returning his attention to his plate.

 

            “I won’t be,” Tiger asserted, cross at being reminded of her oversight of the last evening. “I told you; I just didn’t hear the bell. . .” But Sunshine was absorbed in his meal.  Tiger watched him for a moment. On his plate remained one piece of bread and a puddle of gravy. Unlike most people, Sunshine refused to use his bread to soak up his gravy. Now he carefully went to work on it with a spoon. When, by some freak accident his bread touched against the gravy, Sunshine carefully peeled off the soggy portion of bread and placed it on his napkin. “Ruined,” he explained with a glance at Tiger, and went back to his gravy.

 

            Tiger rose and pushed her chair in. “As fascinating as your eating habits are, I think I’ll go up to the Well Chamber now. Come up when you’re done, if you want.”

 

            “Not as fascinating as your eating habits are,” Sunshine called after her mildly.

 

 

 

 

End of Chapter One