Don’t Stop Believing — Part Deux

By Amanda Martin

 

 

An airport terminal.  MAGELLAN and STEVE PERRY stand just outside airport security, having just driven from the bar where they met.

 

STEVE PERRY

Well, you should get going.  You don’t want to miss your flight.

 

MAGELLAN

I know. I just wish we could have more time.

 

STEVE PERRY

We will, baby.  When you come home.  But you have to go lay those eggs first.

 

MAGELLAN

They won’t even let you walk to the gate with me.  It’s not fair. 

 

STEVE PERRY

It’s for your own safety.  In this day and age of violence and terrorism, airport security is just one of the precautions we have to learn to live with.   

 

As STEVE PERRY speaks, a man carrying a bazooka over one shoulder passes through security behind them. Behind him is an elderly woman, who is stopped and strip-searched by security personnel.

 

STEVE PERRY

(Continuing) But it can take a few minutes to get through security, so you should go, so you have enough time to get to your gate.  You have to be careful with those eggs.

 

MAGELLAN

Okay.  You’re right.  I should go.  (Embracing STEVE PERRY) Oh, Steve!

 

STEVE PERRY

You’ll be all right.  You’ve got a tough shell.

 

MAGELLAN

You think?

 

STEVE PERRY

I know.  Go on.  I’ll stand here and wait for you to get through.

 

MAGELLAN

Okay.

 

MAGELLAN walks to the security checkpoint, looking back at STEVE PERRY sorrowfully.

 

STEVE PERRY

(Singing) Don’t stop believing!

 

MAGELLAN advances in line, puts her small purse on the belt and walks through the metal detector.

 

SECURITY GUY

Ma’am, can you step over here please?

 

MAGELLAN

(Nervously) Okay.

 

SECURITY GUY

I’m going to pat you down.  Don’t worry, this is just a routine check, and then we’ll get you on your way.

 

MAGELLAN

Okay.

 

SECURITY GUY pats down MAGELLAN, stopping in her stomach area.

 

SECURITY GUY

Ma’am, we’re going to need you to remove your shell.

 

MAGELLAN

My shell?

 

SECURITY GUY

Go ahead.

 

MAGELLAN

(Distraught) But I can’t—

 

SECURITY GUY

This is no time for modesty, Ma’am.  Just remove the shell.

 

MAGELLAN

But you don’t understand, I can’t—

 

SECURITY GUY

Ma’am, this is an issue of national safety.  Please remove the shell.

 

MAGELLAN

But I’m a turtle!  I’m trying to get to Florida to lay my eggs!  I’m not trying to hurt anyone!  I just want to lay my eggs!

 

STEVE PERRY

(From behind checkpoint) Hey, what’s going on?

 

SECURITY GUY

Sir, this does not concern you.  Please step back, you’re cutting into the line.

 

STEVE PERRY

This does concern me!  I love that turtle!

 

MAGELLAN

Oh Steve!

 

STEVE PERRY

She’s pregnant, and she needs to catch that flight or she won’t make it to the beach in time.  You have to let her go.

 

SECURITY GUY

Sir, who do you think you are?

 

STEVE PERRY

Why, I’m Steve Perry from Journey.

 

SECURITY GUY

Oh my God, you are!  Escape is one of my favorite albums ever! 

 

STEVE PERRY

Really?

 

SECURITY GUY

You’ve been such an inspiration to me!  You know, I sing a little too. (Singing) Workin’ hard to get my fill, everybody wants a thrill—

 

STEVE PERRY

(While SECURITY GUY sings) Go, Maggie!

 

MAGELLAN quickly escapes towards gate while SECURITY GUY continues to sing.

 

SECURITY GUY

(Still singing) Payin’ anything to roll the dice just one more time…

 

STEVE PERRY

Hey, you’re not so bad.

 

SECURITY GUY

Really?  You think so?

 

STEVE PERRY

Yeah, I do.

 

STEVE PERRY and SECURITY GUY

Don’t stop believing!  Hold on to the feeling!  Streetlight people…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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