"Did you just call me a tard tender?" -Tuesday
She said "Girls! Get into bed NOW!"
Jordi said, "Turn off the light, tard tender!"
Tuesday turned off the light and jumped into bed, scared of the dark. "Did you just call me a tard tender?"
Jord replied, "The tard tender thing is about that my cousin Melody works with, um, tards." They laughed hysterically at how horribly politically incorrect that was. She of course corrected herself, using instead the phrase mentally disabled. She continued, "Well, Melody came up with this idea to make a leash to sort of be able to handle the tards more easily. She and her husband nicknamed it the TardTender. To tend your tard with. Then, when she was showing it to a panel of all these important people she accidentally called it a tard tender. Hahahaha!"
Jordi and Tuesday couldn't stop laughing. They were thinking of commercials for it and Jordi said, "This is an untended tard."
Tuesday came up for the idea of having a tard tender that was like the extendable leash that you get for dogs, where the leash can reel out really far and then you press the button and it reels them in really fast. Then they thought of the image of a kid getting dragged along in the grass and laughed even harder.
"Oh, we're going straight to Hell." said Tuesday. "No purgatory for us."
PS: Yes, this is horribly mean, and we know it. Usually we don't make this much fun of well, anyone, but it was just really late at night. We mean no harm.
