Funny Quotes...
...
at least I think they�re amusing!
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

~Ed Gardener
Love is a perky little elf doing a merry little jig, and then it turns on you with a minature machine gun.
~Matt Groenig
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
~Woody Allen
If your parents never had children, chances are, you won�t, either.

~Dick Cavett
If a man steals your wife, there is only one good revenge- let him keep her.

~Sasha Gruity
A kiss is one of the nicest ways to shut someone up.

~german proverb
Sometimes I lie in bed at night and I wonder "Where did I go wrong?". And then a voice answers me: "This will take more then one night."
~Charlie Brown
Life doesn�t imitate art, it imitates bad television.

~Woody Allen
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