The most important tool that we use in our seminars
Name of the tool:
10 questions I never dared to ask !
Aim :
The exercise aims towards breaking down enemy images and stereotypes through providing safe space and time for participants to clarify their opinions ands stands with regards to other communities/ethnicities etc.
Objectives:
1. To make aware the participants of existence of �other stories�
2. Foster constructive dialogue on inter-racial/ethnic/religious/gender � topics
3. To enhance communication skills
4. Build trust among groups that are in clash
5. Promote dialogue as tool for understanding
Type of target group:
This exercise can be adopted to many target groups. The set up of the rules of the exercise is flexible. This will help the facilitator to determine which is the level of dialogue and sensitivity that participants can digest.
I have tried it with professional politicians, teachers, principals, parents, students and kids� it simply works.
Number of participants :
Not less than 8. Ideal number could be 24, but the balance in the group must be made in such a way that will represent the topic one would like to raise I.e. if the exercise is to be done for the purposes of gender issues than the group must be balanced in terms of gender. I mostly use it for inter-ethnic and racial issues. For this purpose I always make sure that I have the necessary balance of representatives from each community. Ideally it would be better if the exercise focuses on problems two main groups.
Methodology/
Steps Introduction of the rules
This is perhaps the most crucial part of the exercise. The set up of the rules and instructions should be done in such a flexible way that the facilitator should know how much the participants can digest. On the way there is always space for facilitator to degrease or increase the level of sensitivity of dialogue.
This is exercise that can involve a lot of emotions from the side of the participants and as such specific knowledge is required for facilitators to understand the level of emotions and capability of the group to cope with those emotions in the future. It is from high importance the development of the facilitation program for the specific groups. The previous activities of the programme should be in direction in building such kind of trust among participants that in they will feel free to talk may things without hurting. The dialogue with the 10 question is the pick of emotional out blast, than the facilitator/s need to be able to bring the ball down through using different exercises. In development of the program crucial focus should be given to learning communication skills. This should be the first task that the facilitator should close before entering in to dialogue session. Trust building, non-violence, peace building, conflict management and similar topics are from high importance to be learned before but for this it needs time. The seminars should last longer. Tim building, reconciliation, socialization and many outdoor exercises could be very nice to bring the ball down. Make sure that you provide space for them to reflect on issues of their concern after the session. Some of them might want to continue and some not at all. Above all they should have time to think on what was being discussed in the session of dialogue.
Regarding facilitation it is important to be mentioned that facilitation in pair advantage. Two facilitators could deal with issues of two or three groups. The best would be if the facilitators are coming from a background of one of the groups. i.e if there is a dialogue among Serbian and Albanian participants it would be very good if the facilitators are belonging to this groups.
Introducing rules to the participants:
Explain all the rules of the exercise to the participants before you divide them in groups. Make shore that participants get this messages:
Before the exercise
a) Tell to participants that this is their space and they should use it maximum to get to know each other better; whatever is discussed in the premises during this exercise should not go out for public.
b) Give them communication tips. Tell them that it is important that they communicate with using all the rules of good communication like: active listening, not interrupting, no offending, no yelling, no answering with questioning etc.
c) Make them aware that you know what you are doing and if you feel something is wrong you will direct the exercise in where is more convenient for the whole group;
d) Make them aware that in this exercise there is no winner but from the beginning all of them are going to be winners because of the fact that they are going to share their opinions and stands and learn from each other about each other;
e) Make them aware that there is no point in convincing the �others� to accept your stand. It is important that this opinions and stands are exchanged. If one wants to change its own point of view � they can simply do that, but it is not the purpose of the exercise;
f) Give them some tips how to brainstorm the different questions and give possibility to everybody to be involved;
g) If necessary in the dialogue session participants can ask very specific questions for very specific problem in their surrounding. I.e. if you have interracial dialogue session in one school due to the fact that there has already been some fights than participants can ask specific questions regarding the specific fights.
Practical rules
h) Participants should be divided in two or three groups depending on their belonging (racial, gender, ethnic, etc..); This can be done only if the instructions and tips are understood by the participants;
i) They will have min. 1 hour to design 10 question that they will have chance to ask to the participants. These questions should be the ones that participants never had chance to ask to the �others� because of shame, fear or concern that they are going to hurt somebody.
j) These 10 questions could be putted from different fields like: politicks, social relations, economy, religion, school, love, fears, concerns, etc. This is in fact the breaking point where the facilitator should decide whether to heave more sensitive session or just �getting to know session�. More sensitive issues are usually the political, racial, national and social topics. More relaxed ones are love, religion, schooling etc.
k) The 10 questions must be prioritised by importance. The most important question that will need answer from the �others� will have to be the first. This is useful for two reasons: (1) Participants discuss in their group more in details why to prioritizes one and not the other. (2) It might happen that there is no time to answer all questions, or simply close the session. Than the participants will always have a feeling that the most important things are answered. On the top it is good some of the questions to be left as homework, for the sake of continuation o dialogue and establishing culture of communicating sensitive things.
l) The questions must be formulised in such a way that they present resource centre of knowledge and not a provocation question;
m) Tell them to be inclusive;
n) Ask them to choose one person that will read loudly the questions. This is not a person that will do the whole talking but a person that will only read the questions when is his/her turn.
o) Questions they write in flipchart paper, but this they keep for themselves. They do not show it to the whole group. The flipchart where questions are asked should be rolled and given to one person of the group (spokesperson).
p) Make the participants aware that no matter how silly the questions might look they should put them on board. Many silly questions contain stereotypes about �others�. I.e. Is the left over of penis during circumcision put in meal and than eaten by the guests?
q) In the end if all questions are not answered that tell to spokespersons to read all the questions remained without commenting on them. Participants will have a small homework than and if their is interest they could than answer the questions in the social part.
Answering time
r) Each group asks only one question in one cycle. That they should wait for the cycle to finish. If there is three groups they should wait until three questions are closed;
s) The question is asked by the �spokes person�. If clarification is needed than the others from the same group can jump in.
t) The answers are directed to the whole group and not to one person. Facilitator should make sure that questions are not personalized;
u) When a question is asked, than the group should answer each in order by the rule �first seen�. The answering group can have different opinions about the same questions. Other groups can answer two if they feel competent.
v) A question is closed only when the facilitators get the feeling that everything is exhausted regarding the topic, many things are repeated and of course there is general conclusion by the participants; Facilitator should before ending of each topic summarise what is been said and what are the conclusions. If possible some of the participants can also do this � so they learn and practice more communication skills.
w) Depending on the circumstances and the time available for such kind of session, a facilitator could limit the time of answering one question in time frame of 15-30; Some of more important first questions will definitely need more time than 30 min. Flexibility in managing time will be required.
x) Avoid redundancy in answering and repeating of the same person each time. Always give priority to the ones that are more pulled back, encourage them, try to get them involved.
y) One facilitator takes a turn for facilitating two questions/. The questions to be facilitated should be from one cycle i.e. if there is two groups one facilitator will facilitate two questions if there is three groups � three questions; This will mean that one facilitator will have to experience questions from all groups even from �their� ones.
z) Consultation time for participants should be provided if necessary;
aa. Facilitators support each other with input only if necessary;
bb. Neutrality is extremely important;
cc. Provocations = only if necessary, if the participants are to shiny or they are to closed. They start to tell notary things that everybody knows and agrees.
dd. When participants are formulating the questions will be needed help to formulize them so that they are more assertive and not offending. Some times it might be needed some provocation from the side of the facilitators. This could be done only if the participants put questions that are not in direction of understanding or simply just will not help to the group to learn about the stands. But this provocations should be done very carefully.
In the end make sure you have already organised a good social program where the participants can simply relax. This is time for them where they could continue talking or apologising to each other if something they felt they hurt somebody.
Duration: 2 - 6 hours
Material needed: Flipchart paper, markers