Somehow
I just knew.
But
so that there was no mistake
I
asked “Honey, are you awake?”
Hearing
sniffles, there was no denying.
Lying
in the dark, my woman was crying.
I
reached out and pulled her near,
Her
back to my chest, my lips to her ear,
Don’t
panic. Heart, don’t fail me.
I
asked “Baby what’s wrong? Tell me.”
Between
her breasts she held my hand tight.
And
we just laid there in the dim light.
She
turned her head and kissed me.
She
asked “ Do you know that I love you?
Do
you believe my heart is true?
I’ll
always stand wherever you stand.
I
always cry when I thank God for my man.”
It
was hard for me to reply.
A
warm tear flowed from my eye.
I
said “You’re more than my woman or my wife.
You’re
more than my better half. You’re my
life.
Two
in unison become one in love.
I,
too, am thankful to God above.”
We
moved closer, hip to hip.
Into
each other we began to slip.
She
moved her body in rhythm with mine.
We
drifted…
Tonya didn’t snap.
“Marcus, that was beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
“Is that based on something you
experienced.”
“No, I’ve never experienced anything like
that, but I’ve dreamed it.”
“You dreamed it.”
“Yes.
I’ve always had this dream about love; just this awesome so rich you
inhale it when you breathe. When ever I
dreamed about it, it would always be with the same person. I couldn’t identify her, but I would know it
was the same woman by the way I would feel.
Anyway, one night the dream happened sort of like the poem, so I wrote
about it.”
“Did you ever find out who the woman in your
dream was?”
“Oh yes.
It’s you”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“Marcus, doesn’t all this going on better us
seem, not strange, but unusual? I mean I am so very comfortable with you and
sometimes it seems like we didn’t just start something. It seems like it has been going on for
years.”
“I know.
In a way, it seems perfect even though its not. Tonya, how do you feel about me?”
“Marcus, you know my situation. I have to be careful what I say. Some things I just think I should say given
our circumstances.”
“Okay, then tell me why you are doing this.”
“Marcus, before you came along, I wasn’t
unhappy or discontented. I wasn’t
looking for something outside my home.
That’s still true. I am not doing
this because any reason like that. You
make me happy in a way I can’t explain.
It is like I know that you know the real me and loves me anyway. That makes me comfortable. In truth, I guess I do this because I’m a
little selfish. I want what you give me,
but I also want to be good to you; a good special friend. Why do you do it?”
“I do it because it makes me happy. I feel like I am a different man since we’ve
been friends. There was a darkness in my
life that you lifted. You add splendor
and wonder to my day; and I can say that I truly love you. I believe I was meant to love you. And yes, I’m selfish, too. I know we have boundaries and limitations,
but I can’t help wants in my heart. Maybe
one day; it might be 40 years from now, but one day things might be different
and I’ll get a chance to hold you in my arms.
You might be 80 years old, but I’m going still hold you like I’ll never
let you go”
“If I’m 80 years old, I’m going to need you
not to let go so I won’t fall. No,
that’s not true, because when I get 80, I’m still going to be young and
sexy. When I’m 80, I’m going to get me a
60 year old boyfriend and he better be able to hang.”
“You’re so crazy. Tonya, I never told you this but if I had a
choice between sleeping with you and you truly caring for me, I would much
rather you care for me. That’s what’s
important and that is why I do this.”
“I care for you very much”
“I care for you, too.”
They were silent from a few moments. Each lost in his or her thoughts about the
other.
“Read me another poem”
“Okay.”
Marcus read a couple of poems, to which
Tonya snapped in applause. They then
turned the conversation to more mundane concerns Marcus told stories from
previous relationships and his marriage, to which Tonya offered what may have
been good advice at the time. Tonya
thought some of the stories were funny and, hearing her laugh, Marcus had to
admit that now they did seem comical.
They did notice time passing and when Marcus finally locked at the
clock, it was after 10. Tonya mentioned
that one of the things she liked about
“Hey, I like this song. It’s perfect for doing the Electric
Slide. Marcus, get up. Let’s do the Electric Slide.”
“I am not doing the Electric Slide. Every wedding reception, every birthday,
everywhere you go, somebody is going to do the Electric Slide. I am not doing it in my house.”
“Come on, Marcus. Get up.
This is my date so get up.”
“Okay, but girl. You better watch yourself. You don’t want none of this. Here we go.”
Marcus dance. Tonya laugh as Marcus commented on what he
was doing.
“Ah, shucks now. I’m getting funky with it now. Watch this dip.”
“Marcus was enjoying himself and when the
song ended they both laughed and said how crazy the other person was. They become silent as they both recognized
the piano intro to “A house is not a home”.
Marcus asked
“May I have this dance?”
“Yes.”
They both closed their eyes and in their
minds they held each other and dances.
For the next few minutes the music transported them to a place where
they were intertwined. They could hear
each other breathing and feel touches that seemed more than imagination. When the song ended, they still remained
silent. Marcus broke the silence.
“Go over to the window.”
“Okay.
I’m there.”
“Can you see the moon?”
“Yes.”
“I can, too.
It’s funny. We are so far apart,
yet we can look at the sky and see the same moon. The same moon that is shining on you is shining
on me. I want to read something to you.
Forgive
Me God
The
pillow upon which she slept,
The
ground that supports her every step,
The
sun that greets her with daylight,
The
moon that follows her home at night,
Forgive
me God, I’ve fallen to envy.
The
brush she uses to stroke her hair,
The
wind that caresses her face with care,
The
breath that causes her breast to rise,
The
tears that fall from her eyes,
Forgive
me God, I’ve fallen to envy.
I
covet the things that stand near,
The
thoughts she thinks; the words she hear;
Her
soft voice when she whispers a prayer.
The
day; the night; the sky; the air;
Can
I be all? Can I be any?
Forgive
me God, I’ve fallen to envy.
“So many things are able to be a part of
your life everyday. So many things you
touch and come in contact with. There
you are standing; gazing at the moon.
The moon is reaching down and touching you with its moonlight. And here I am hundreds of miles away; wishing
I could touch you.”
“Marcus, you are touching me”
The magic of their date continued. They were unable to end the call. Tonya woke up about
Tonya awoke again to the sound of a phone
ringing. She answered the cell phone,
and then realized the phone on the nightstand was stilling ringing. She answered it.
“Hello.”
“Good morning, Baby.”
“Ryan, good morning”
“How are you doing? You miss me?”
“Like always. How was the game?”
“
Marcus woke up when he heard Tonya say hello
into the cell phone. He looked at the
clock. It was a little after 8. He could hear Tonya talking to Ryan and the
thought of eavesdropping made him uncomfortable. He thought about hanging up, but felt Tonya
would want him to hang on.
“Good bye.
Love you, too.” Marcus heard Tonya say.
And then
“Hello?”
“I’m here.” Marcus replied.
“Good morning.”
“And good morning to you, too. Well, did you enjoy our evening together?”
“It was wonderful. I really enjoyed it.”
“I did, too.
I guess it is time to end it. You
need to get the phone shipped and I have to get ready for a visit from my
mother. So, we need to hang up.”
“Marcus, thanks for everything. I can’t explain how you made me feel.”
“You are welcome. Maybe we can do it again.”
“I hope so.
Have a nice day.”
“You, too.
Bye.”
When Marcus hung up, he felt satisfied and,
yet, he longed for more. He thought of
all the women and all the dates he had in the past. He had not ever experienced the closeness and
intimacy he had with Tonya. He wanted to
be able to share tonight and tomorrow night and the night after that with
Tonya. Last night, it was easy for him
to imagine that there was no one else in the world. It was clear to Marcus that he was in love; in
love like he had never been before. Marcus thought to himself that if what he
felt for Tonya was true love, then what he had felt for other women, even
Karen, most have been something. If true love was measured in degrees, he
believed his love for Karen could only have been midrange when compared to his
love for Tonya.
Marcus’ mother had said she would be by in
the morning. Marcus knew that could mean anytime. She was coming by to make his
house homier. It seems bland bathrooms and windows without the right curtains
were substandard for her son. At the moment Marcus thought he had time for to
shower, the doorbell rang.
“Good morning, mom.” Marcus greeted his
mother as he opened the door.
“Good morning, son. Help your mother by
getting that box out of the car.”
“Mom, you’re planning on doing enough to
need a box?”
“Boy, get the box.”
Marcus went to the car and got the box. He
wouldn’t dare look in it. When he came back into the house, his mother was in
the living room reading one of the poems he had read to Tonya the night before.
“I remember falling in love?” She asked with
a puzzled look. “Boy what were you up to last night.”
“Nothing.”
“Did you just get up? And you look like you
sleep in those clothes.”
“I was reading some poems I wrote and fell
asleep. That’s all.”
“Marcus, baby, mommy was born yesterday or
last night. Mommy knows there was something going on” his mother said as if
talking to a baby.
“Well, nothing is going on, mommy” Marcus
said in his baby voice.
“I know there is a girl involved. I just
don’t know who.”
“Mom, how do you know that?”
“By your nostrils, son. Your nose has been
open for weeks.”
Marcus’ mother knew someone had Marcus’
attention. Marcus always wore his emotions on his sleeves and it was easy to
tell when he was involved with someone. This time, however, seemed different to
his mother. She sensed something was running deep in Marcus; deeper than she
had ever seen. She admitted to herself that she was a bit concerned. She wanted
to know what was going on and with whom. She was counting on Marcus to give her
enough clues to figure it out. He always did.