While their last encounter may have been fading in Marcus’ mind, it had found a permanent place with Tonya.  There was something about it; something about the way she felt there in Marcus’ presence and the way he talked to her that still excited her when she thought about it.  Unable to control thinking about it, Tonya chose to control how she thought about it.  She pushed those thoughts to a place in her mind she felt was away form her reality; away from her life; away from Ryan.  She was convinced she was able to compartmentalize her thoughts of Marcus so that they were a coincidental sidebar; something written in the margin as an oh-by-the-way thought.  Still, despite her mental posturing, Tonya still wonder why she thought of Marcus when she loved Ryan so much.  Ryan had done everything she asked.  He had been everything she wanted.  Her marriage to Ryan was everything she imagined marriage could ever be.  She was both glad and thankful that Ryan was her husband.  She couldn’t imagine being married to anyone else.  Yet, Marcus had come looking for her and she was glad.  Why? She had to know.  She needed to ask him.  She would ask him.  She put on her to-do list.

In her short time in Chicago, Tonya had been able to check two important things off her list – make the new house a home and get a job.  Ryan was right to be excited about the house.  It was perfect for them.  In no time at all, Tonya had it looking like a place they had lived in for years.  Stacey took to it so well one would think she was born in it.  Ryan wasn’t spending as much time away from home as Tonya had feared.  Ryan covered more football off-season than baseball.  Tonya loved the time the three of them spent in there new home.

Tonya found a job she believed she would eventually love as an assistant to the director of a foundation that raised money for non-profit organizations.  The foundation held events and matched celebrities to the right cause or organizations.  Sometimes Tonya felt that they were more like a PR firm.  She realized that every sport figure or entertainment star really didn’t care about the cause.  They just needed the image.  The foundation didn’t care as long as it raised money.  Tonya felt she would soon reconcile the means and the end.  Then she would love the job.

Tonya sat in her office going over the following week’s schedule.  It was Wednesday, July 5, and she could think of plenty she would rather be doing than working.  Without invitation, Marcus crept into her mind.  Tonya turned to her computer.  She didn’t have a phone number for Marcus, but she believed she knew where to find one.  She became excited when she found the website for Hebron Baptist Church.  She clicked on the contact link and found the church number.  She dialed the number and then quickly hung up.  She went back to the website.  She suspected that Marcus would have personal contact information there.  Her suspicions were correct.  Marcus, in being thorough, had a couple of email addresses and three numbers, including his cell phone, listed.  Tonya decided to give his cell phone number a try.  She checked the clock and dialed the number, hoping to check Marcus at lunch.

“Hello” a voice said after only one ring.

“Are you visiting the sick or slacking off again”

Marcus laughed.

“Hey.  How are you doing?”

“Fine.  And you?”

“I’m doing good.  This is a surprise.”

“Should I have not called you?”

“No, this is fine.  I’m just surprised.  What made you call?”

“I wanted to ask you something.”

“Okay, go ahead.”

“Don’t you think it is a little crazy to come looking for a married woman? What if my husband had been with me?”

“You’re right.  Stupid is what it was.  I’m sorry.  I hope I didn’t cause you any trouble.  That wasn’t my intent.”

“Then why did you do it?” Tonya could hear the accusing tone in her voice and wonder where it came from.  This wasn’t how she imagined the conversation going.

“Again, I’m sorry.  I should not have done it.  I apologize.”

“But Marcus…”

“Hey, I said I’m sorry.  I’m also sorry you had to call me from Chicago, what three weeks after the fact, to tell me how crazy it was”

There was silence.  Marcus was trying not to be irritated.  Tonya realized she was nervous and that she had attacked Marcus in an attempt to stay in control.  After almost a minute of silence, she took a deep breath and spoke.

“Marcus, why did you come looking for me?”

Marcus was taken back by her new tone.  It was soft and inviting.  It was reaching inside him and unlocking something; something he didn’t have the key to.

“Oh, do you really want to know? I don’t know if we should have this conversation.”

“Yes, I want to know.  I think I deserve to know since you did come looking for me.”

“I came because of this right here; the way you sound right now, and the way I feel.  I came because I wanted to tell you things, things I have wanted to say for a long time.  Every since I..”

“Every since you gave me that chocolate candy?”

“Every since I first saw you.  You have no idea how good it feels to say this to you, but I’ve always cared about you and felt something for you.  Every time I see you, you’re all I can think about for days.”

“Marcus, I’m married and you’re a preacher.  I don’t want to do anything that is going to get you off track.”

“Neither do I.”

“So maybe I shouldn’t have called?”

“No, I’m glad you called.”

“You don’t have to worry.  I won’t be calling bugging you.”

“You can call any time.”

“I can?”

“Yes, I want you to.  You can call as much as you want.”

“Not really.  The situation won’t allow that.  Can I email you sometimes?”

“Yes, yes.  Please do.  Let me give you my email address.”

“I already have it.  Marcus, why didn’t we ever get together? Why didn’t you say something to me?”

“Tonya, I don’t know if I can answer that now.  I’ll tell you later.  Would it have made a difference?

“I don’t know.  Maybe things happened the way they were supposed to, but I’ve always thought you were a wonderful person.  Marcus, hold on a second.”

Marcus held the phone in silence as his mind raced.  He asked himself over and over if this conversation was really taking place.

“I’m sorry, Marcus, but I have to go.  I’m going to email you soon.  Okay?”

“Okay.  Tonya, I’m glad you called.  Bye.”

“Me too.  Bye.”

Tonya hung up.  She sat still, staring at the pictures of nothing significant on her office walls.  She stood up.  Either her desk had grown smaller or she had grown taller.  She sat back down.  She was in a state that was a whirling mix of shock and euphoria.  She had actually called Marcus.  She wondered what had just happened.  Something had happened.  Tonya felt that she had shared something with Marcus.  She felt as if they had shared the experience of discovering a wonder treasure; an experience they could only share with each other.  She felt that she had confirmed what she secretly believed – that Marcus was kind and would make her feel wonderful.  She admitted to herself that she wanted to find out our right she was.  Tonya felt she knew Marcus and she wanted to experience what she thought she knew about him.  She had opened herself to something and it was exciting.  She wondered if she could control it.

Marcus was surprised and amazed.  For two people who had only shared passing conversations over the last 25 years, Tonya and he seemed to be very at ease with each other.  He was very comfortable talking to her.  There was something so very real about the experience.  The more he thought about it, the more amazed he became.  Tonya had actually called him.  He had actually talked to her; told her he cared about her.  Marcus was happy and excited.  He could feel his emotions shedding their dark veneer; revealing warmth and bright colors.  His mind was lost in spring time as a freshness washed over him.  Marcus had not felt this way in twenty-five years.  He was determined he would not be silent this time.  He was going to give Tonya everything he had inside.

When Marcus got home that night, he couldn’t help but replay the phone call over and over.  He tried to glean every bit of information; every innuendo.  Marcus was determined not to miss a thing, but his real goal was to make sure that it was real; that it really happened.  He wanted to write Tonya right then.  It dawned on him that he didn’t have here email address or a phone number for her.  Marcus retrieved his cell phone from the kitchen counter where it was recharging.  He went through his received calls until he came to one he recognized as a Chicago area code.  He thumbed through his options until he had saved the number as ‘Tee’.  He would first have to get her permission before he used it.  He didn’t know whether the number was work or home.  He had to be careful.

 

Sitting in the pulpit Sunday morning, Marcus noticed something he had not noticed before.  He perhaps had not noticed it before because it may not have existed before.  What he noticed was a group of teen-age boys, about 5 of them, sitting on the back pew.  To have boys sitting on the back pew was not unusual.  For most boys the back pew was a right of passage.  What made this group of young lads notable was that its membership including boys from both sides of the proverbial tracks.  He recognized in the group Jason Roberts and his brother Tony from the east side; and Mike Taylor and Carl Brown from the west side.  He didn’t recognize the kid who seemed like he may have been the oldest.  As Marcus thought about it, he had seen the same group before, though he didn’t remember where.  Marcus took seeing the young boys together as a sign the church was learning to fellowship together despite differences.

All in all, Marcus felt things were going well for Hebron Baptist Church and their new pastor.  Most days there was something going on at the church and the membership seemed to love the buzz and activity.  Some remarked that it seemed the church was more alone now.  Marcus believed that the more the church did, the more people could become involved.  He didn’t believe in busy work, though.  Everything had a point and purpose.  He designed programs around strengths and needs so that people could use their gifts and talents in truly serving the church.  Most evenings when Marcus got home his brain was worn out, if not his body, but he remained enthused about the church and the work they were doing.

Marcus decided Tuesday would be his day.  He would do some work at home, but for the most part he would take it easy; maybe get some things done around the house like laundry.  He had just started a load around 10 am and decided it was time for a bowl of cereal and email.  With the breakfast of champions in hand, he began reviewing his email.  He did more deleting than reading.  Marcus had a habit of ignoring email if he didn’t recognize the senders email address or the subject.  He was about to delete an email with the subject ‘Just wondering’ from [email protected] when he realized the Fulmont was Tonya’s last name.  It read

“Hello.  I was just wondering what you were up to.  I hope everything is going okay for you.  You were on my mind.”

 

Marcus quickly replied.

 

“Are you visiting the sick or just slacking off”

 

“Just slacking off” came the reply.

 

“Shame on you.  How are you doing? I’m fine”

 

“I am good.  Are you at work? What in the world is sterlmur? I almost deleted you.”

 

“Yes, I’m at work.  I work for the Sterling-Murant Foundation.  So, you want to delete me?”

“Never.  I have no plans on getting rid of you”

 

“What kind of plans do you have?”

 

“I plan on getting to know you better and hopefully you’ll get to know me better.”

 

“That sounds like a good plan.”

 

“What are your plans?”

 

“Oh, I want to get to know you.”

 

“Seems we have the same plan.”

 

“So, Marcus Austin, tell me about yourself.”

 

For the next forty minutes Marcus and Tonya exchanged emails.  Sometimes Marcus had to wait minutes for a response as Tonya actually did some work.  Tonya had to wait while Marcus had a visitor.  They shared histories and events; birthdays and favorites.  Marcus was about to respond to an email when his cell phone rang.  He knew it was her.  Marcus answered the phone with

“Deg, you’re impatient.  You can’t wait until I email you.”

“No, I can’t.” Tonya burst into laughter.

“I’m glad you called.  I wanted to hear your voice.”

“Marcus.  I want you to tell me why you never told me how you felt.”

“Oh, that’s easy.  I thought you were stuck up and snooty.” Marcus laughed.

“Oh, you’re trying to be a comedian.  Well, I guess I did seem snooty to a nerd.”

“A nerd! Okay, I see you got jokes, too”

“You started it.  Don’t start if you can’t hang.”

“Baby, hanging is not a problem.”

“You want to try answering that question again?”

“I didn’t tell you how I felt because of Big Stan.”

“No, no, no.  Well, yeah, but that’s not it.  I thought you were his girlfriend.”

“What!”

“I thought you were his girlfriend.  Gary called me to come over your house one day and when I got there I saw you two in the backyard.  He had his arm around like he was getting ready to kiss you and feel you up, so I leave and didn’t come back.”