“May I ask whose calling?” There was pause. Marcus’ mother moved to a corner. She wanted
to investigate in privacy.”
“My name is Tonya. I am a friend of Marcus.”
“Oh, Tonya, I see. Well, Tonya, I’m Mrs. Austin, Marcus’ mother
and I must tell you that Marcus is in the hospital recovering from a gunshot.”
“Is he going to be alright? What are the
doctors saying?”
“What is your last name, Tonya?”
“It’s Fulmont. Is he going to be alright?”
“Tonya, I don’t know if I should be
discussing the details of his condition with you, but since you say you are a
friend, I will tell you that Marcus is going to be fine. We’re at the hospital
now. Why don’t you come by now so we can meet and you can look in on Marcus?”
“Mrs. Austin, I can’t do that.”
“I’m sorry?”
“I mean I’m not in
“Oh, you’re one of his friends from
“No ma’am.”
“You’re not interested in Marcus?”
“No, I didn’t say that. It’s just that, um,
I’m not… I’m not available.”
“Are you married?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Oh, I see.
Tonya, just what is the nature of your friendship with my son?”
“Mrs. Austin, we’re just friends.”
“Well, I don’t think Marcus would be running
around here with his nose wide open simply because of a friend, Dear. Do you?”
“Ma’am?”
“I said I don’t think my son would be
running around with his nose wide open because of a person who is just a
friend. Would you agree?”
“Ma’am, I… Yes, you’re right. It would take
more than a friend.”
“Now, Marcus has had his nose wide open now
for weeks. And if you and he are just friends, then there must be some other
woman out there who is more than just a friend, uh?”
“What? Another woman?”
“Um uh. Just what I
thought. You’re the one with his nose open, aren’t you? Now, Tonya,
don’t try to fool me. I’ve known Marcus has been up to something for a while. A
married woman in
‘Mrs. Austin, we’ve haven’t done anything.
Marcus really is my friend. He’s the best friend I have. I… I… Mr. Austin, is
he really going to be alright?” Mrs. Austin could here Tonya sniffling.
‘Sweety, Marcus is
going to be just fine. He is going to recover from the gunshot, but I am more
concerned about whether he will recover from you.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
“Let’s get down to it. Marcus is a good man,
a responsible man, and he wouldn’t be having a friendship like I believe the
two of you have unless his heart was truly in it. I just wonder if you care
about him like he cares about you. I’m just wondering what he has to get over –
somebody who like him or somebody who loves him. Do you love him?”
“Mrs. Austin, I’m married. I love my
husband.”
“I love brown shoes, but that doesn’t stop
me from buying black. You didn’t answer my question. Do you love Marcus?”
Tonya was silent for a moment. She was
wondering if she should take advantage of this opportunity. For the duration of her friendship with
Marcus, and even before, Tonya had not spoken to anyone about her feelings for
Marcus. She had not told anyone how she
felt when she saw him. And now that they
were close, the secrecy kept her from her from telling anyone the range of
emotions she went through. She decided this was her chance.
“Mrs. Austin, before about two months ago,
Marcus was somebody that… that… I don’t know how to describe it other than to
say I was always glad when I saw him.
Even though we never really talked, I was drawn to him. I wanted him to
talk to me. When he started talking to
me it was like he released something in me and at the same time gave me
something. Somehow he released the passionate woman in me; the woman who wants
to be sweep away, and I believe a woman that has been waiting for him. He gave me a love story. I’m not talking
about a boy meets girl kind of story. I am talking about a story about life and
love and meaning that makes you know who you are. Mrs. Austin, it is a
beautiful story about us, not some clandestine affair, not sneaking around, but
about us. It is a story about us and our
love for each other. Yes, I love him. I love him very much.”
“And how does this story end?”
“It doesn’t. Nothing can change what is
between us. Don’t get me wrong. Like I said, I love my husband, but that
doesn’t change the fact that part of me will always belong to Marcus. And what
ever happens will be part of the story, even if it means we never talk again.
The love story will still be there. I know I sound crazy.”
“Tonya, dear, you don’t sound crazy. You
sound like a woman in love. I am not happy about the idea of my son having an
emotional bond with woman who is married and starting this friendship may not
have been the smartest thing Marcus has done. But obviously you care about him
and I think you both know what is at stake. Besides, sometimes you can’t help
who you love. But, Tonya, you have a choice about what you do about it. Can I
ask you one more question?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Why do you continue your relationship with
Marcus? Do you know why?
“Yes, I know why. The bottom line is I do it
because of what I get. I do it… I do it because I’m selfish. I do it because
I’m selfish.”
“Oh, Tonya, Tonya, Tonya. Perhaps a love like you described between you
and Marcus shouldn’t be expressed selfishly. Something for
you to think about. I’ll tell
Marcus to call you when he’s up to it.
And if his condition changes, I’ll make sure you’re notified.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Austin. Thank you very
much.”
“You take care, sweety.”
When Tonya hung up, she felt relief. Of course, she felt relieved that Marcus was
going to be okay. She also felt that a
weight had been lifted by her conversation with Mrs. Austin. It felt good to tell someone the things she
had being keeping to herself. Saying
those things out loud made them clearer to her.
She was right. What she and
Marcus shared was very special. Mrs.
Austin was right. Love so special should
not be expressed selfishly. Tonya didn’t
know exactly what that meant, but she knew Marcus’ mother was right.
Mrs. Austin walked back over to Mr.
Austin. She felt her conversation with
Tonya had gone quite well. Tonya wasn’t quite what she first expected, but when
she thought of Marcus, Tonya was exactly what she should have expected. In a way, she was beginning to felt a little
pity for Tonya, and Marcus. She wondered
if it were better they had never crossed paths if they couldn’t be together or
it knowing such existed was enough.
“Well?” Mr. Austin asked when she reached
him. “Was that who I thought it was?”
“That was Mrs. Tonya Fulmont.”
“So he was running around with a married
woman. That boy.”
“Well, it seems there wasn’t much running
around. I think all they are doing is a whole lot of talking, but I believe
they are in love and I’m not talking about the lightweight stuff. It sounds like endless love stuff.”
Mrs. Austin placed her hand in Mr. Austin’s
hand. She thought to herself that if Tonya saw in Marcus the things she saw in
his father, the love they shared was understandable. They walked hand in hand
back to the waiting area. Delvin and Janet had gone in to see Marcus and most
of the church members were starting to leave now that they knew their pastor
would be alright. The
“Hey, everybody.”
“Hello, son” said his father.
“How’s my baby?” said his mother.
“How are you feeling, hard head?” came from
Delvin.
The rest of the crowd chimed in with their
own version of greeting and inquiry. The room was full of smiles and light
laughter. They filled in the gaps in Marcus’ memory of what happened and how he
got to the hospital. He inquired about Tony
and Jason, and was told they were fine.
Marcus told everyone that the doctor said he would be able to leave in a
day or two. The church members were the
first to leave so that Marcus could rest.
Delvin and Janet excused themselves to pick up Mike, whom they were sure
was keeping her mother busy. Eventually,
Marcus’ parents had him all to themselves.
“Oh, by the way, your girlfriend called” his
mother served up.
“Huh? What?
What girlfriend?”
“Marcus, you can stop with your game or I
can thump you on that knot to help you remember. I talked to your friend, Mrs. Tonya Fulmont.”
“You called her? She called you? Mom, what happened?”
“Well, first of all you know that if you
want to keep something a secret, tell no one but God. And definitely do not tell Delvin.”
“I’m going to kill him.”
“He didn’t mean to tell it. He thought that
was why you had been shot.”
“He thought I was shot by Tonya’s husband?
That’s crazy.”
“Yeah, and a whole lot of craziness has been
going on.” Marcus’ mother turned to his
father.
“Honey, why don’t you give me a little time
to talk with our son? Mother and child need to chat.” His father left the room.
“When did this thing between you and Mrs. Fulmont start?”
“Mom!”
“Well, that’s her name. She is Mrs. Tonya Fulmont.”
“Well, this thing started long before she
became Mrs. Fulmont. It started the first time I saw
her.”
“Do you remember when that was?”
“Yes, when I was playing little league
baseball. Mom, it’s not what you think.”
“Oh, you know what I think. Then you know I think that love is wonderful
and to have someone who loves you just as much as you love them is a miracle, a
real miracle. Marcus, what is it you love about her?”
“Mom, I love the way I am around her. It is
like she has the match or is the match to what ever I am. Even her imperfections seem perfect to me. In
her I find a place to give myself. Mom,
knowing someone loves me the way she does makes me
feel more alive than I’ve even been.”
“Marcus, where does love come from?”
“Love, real love, comes from God.”
“That’s right. So, I can’t tell you that loving
her with real love is wrong, but I can question how you handle it or what you
do about it. Why did you first approach Tonya?”
“I just felt if I got to her, if I found her
I would find… I would find… I would find true love.”
“You believed that?”
“Yes, I believed that.”
“So you believed. You had faith you would
find true love. Is that correct?”
“Yes.”
“Then why haven’t you stopped?”
“Ma’am?”
“I asked why you haven’t stopped. You believed you’d find true love. You found
true love. What are you still looking for?
“I’m not looking for anything.”
“Oh, then why are you carrying on with Tonya
if you’re not looking for something?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes you do.
Why are still courting your true love even though she is married?”
“Because. Because I… I love her.”
“Oh, Marcus, you disappoint me. You know that is not the right answer.”
“Mom, I do it because I want to. I want more
of her. Maybe I’m greedy. I guess I’m only thinking about me. I’m being
selfish.”
“Hmm. That’s what Tonya said. Do
you think selfish is a word that should be used to describe what you two have?”
“It shouldn’t be, but…”
“It shouldn’t be, but you two have taken the
beautiful wonderful love between you and used it selfishly. If you were being unselfish you would have
considered her marriage and her husband and left her alone. That’s what real, unselfish love should have
made you do. If she was being unselfish,
she should have considered you position as a pastor and left you alone. That’s what true love should have made her
do. True love isn’t about satisfying
yourself. True love comes from God and
when he gives it to you; you have to hold it up in esteem before him. It is
something He choices to entrust in your hearts; and you are trusted to do the
right thing by it; not be selfish. God
has entrusted in your hands, Marcus, the love of a whole congregation of
people. Imagine how betrayed they would have felt had you been shot by a
jealous husband. They would have felt betrayed by the love and faith they have
placed in you. It would not have mattered to them what you did or didn’t
do. They would have been hurt and you
would have been in the midst of a scandal.
Marcus, you are a man of faith.
You have faith in God, I would say, for most things. You have extreme
faith in people. But you have to have faith that if you do the right thing, God
will make everything alright. It may not
be the way you want it, but it will be the way He intended. You have to accept
on faith that the love you two share will always be there no matter what. Son,
it is a test.”