Don't travel without enough money or access to it. This will lead you to bizarre corners of foreign cities, reliant on the charity of bizarre characters for lifts, food and accommodation. There are vagrancy laws in every country in the world, don't fall foul of them without speaking the language! Hostels for the homeless are not nice in any country, believe me: I spent a sleepless night in one in Gerona, northern Spain. Sleeping on the beach is not a good idea when you're female. I tried it in the south of France, only to find needles in the sand - ay carumba!
Don't eat salads in hot countries. They wash it in water the locals get out of taps. It will give you a water-bourne disease. I got one. It was horrible - hallucinations, sickness, fever and a charming four hour flight with said symptoms.
Always try to get 1. food 2. a wash 3. sleep when you can. You never know if this will be the last time you'll get a chance of any of them. I spent three days eating cucumber salad in Amsterdam because I'd blown all my budget, which had been badly thought out. I'll never eat cucumber salad again, delicious though it seemed at first! In France I once had to eat food left over from diners in transport cafes: it took three hours to get a four course meal but - boy! - what a diverse meal it was. After tramping round Europe for two weeks I hadn't managed to bathe for one of them - euww. Incredibly, I lost my towel just as the shower was literally in sight. I had to dry myself on my TinTin t-shirt.
I am a gifted sleeper. I can sleep upright in airports, train stations, ditches, motorway embankments, fields etc. without the slightest fear for my personal safety. However, I could not have done this without friends around to look out for me. Okay, at Orly Airport I was asleep on a baggage rack and they started it up to watch me go round and round, completely out of it but - hey! - I'd have done the same thing. They didn't sleep a wink for the weeks were stuck in France and Spain, bless them, but had to sit nervously anxious and watch over me while I slept oblivious and snored. Thanks, Becky and Heather, for the most ridiculous road-movie of two weeks in Europe that anyone could ask for, followed by two weeks in Tunisia that were even more bizarre. One day I WILL write a book about crap holidays from hell, because god knows I've had them all. .
