Fellow Mediocrites,

If you're getting this e-mail, it means you probably made the mistake of entering your e-mail address on a submission to the Minnesota Assembly of Mediocre Athletes

website. If you don't want to receive mediocre e-mail periodically, just send a reply and I'll take you off the list.

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MAMA ISN'T DEAD!!

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OK, so 2.5 years between messages isn't exactly the most ambitious e-mail list you've ever seen - but hey, we're not getting paid for this, and you weren't expecting much anyway, so what's to complain about? If you're like me, you're getting enough Spam from all of those "spy on your old High-School classmates" - companies to keep yourself diverted from work anyway.

Even though we're too busy (lazy) to update the site very often, we still enjoy getting all of your e-mails and we'll keep trying to (eventually) get the best of your suggestions incorporated into the site.

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The Moment You've All Been Waiting For!!!

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No, Denny Green's not resigning - its time to vote for the first set of MAMA inductees in the new Millennium!

A brief statistical survey of the previous MAMA inductees points to an interesting phenomenon - most of the mediocre athletes in Minnesota over the past 1000 years seem to have played during the last 10 years or so. While theories abound trying to explain this trend of mediocrity, it should be pointed out that Carl Pohlad didn't take ownership of the Twins until the late 1980's.

In any case, now that the Olympics have wimped out and started competing every two years, MAMA is one of the last great institutions that only crowns winners every 4 years (every February 29th, to be exact.) We've narrowed down the suggestions you all have given us to a list of 5 amateurs and 20 professionals, and for the first time in history, internet votes will be accounted for in MAMA's renowned secret election formula.

We could explain the formula to you, but we know if we told you you'd just complain about it anyway. Instead, we're keeping it a secret so if you don't like who gets elected, we'll just tell you that all of those other bozos who voted over the internet messed things up.

Here's the link:

On a semi-serious note, please forward this on to any of your friends who might also like to participate. We want as many people as possible to join in the fun.

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Famous visitors to the MAMA website

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Since the last Spam message we sent out, MAMA received an e-mail from the sister of one of our illustrious inductees. Unfortunately, this person didn't quite get the spirit of the site, and inundated us with a bunch of assorted vulgarities for including her brother, (who she assured us was a very nice person). Oh well, for a meager site like this any recognition is somewhat flattering. (For the record, the idea of MAMA is NOT to rip crummy athletes, but to appreciate average ones. But you already knew that, right?)

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Thanks for your support, and keep those ideas and suggestions rolling in!

- Mark Salzwedel

President, MAMA