Kirby dick was born in small town of Fraknach, Crete. At the age of only 6 Kirby was placed in a burlap sack, hung from an apple tree and beaten with pieces of wicker his mother manufactured from hair she found in the sink after his father shaved in the morning. Kirby spent is summers in Prague and Antigonish. He enjoyed sitting on the docks and letting his toes dip into the water. Sometime she would see his reflection and think he was drowning and try to save himself. Kirby enjoyed long walks on the beach with is uncle and long, sensuous back rubs from his 94 year old great grandmother. At the age of only 17 Kirby married his cousin Fran, who eventually would become that annoying Nanny on the NBC sitcom “The Nanny”. At 25 Kirby and Fran (Or his “Franny” as Kirby would say) became parents. They’re only son Gilroy (named after Kirby’s favorite TV star) was born mentally challenged and at the age of 4 Kirby had his son put in a kennel. At the age of 8 he was put down along with a flock of German shepherds. Kirby felt so distraut over the loss of his son that he needed to do something different with his life. Kirby transformed back into a fifteen-year-old boy and joined the awesome force of Malty Gippon Movie Making Magic.