Alright so today was an interesting day. I had my exam for film lit and it wasn¡¦t too bad but I probably could have done better =) I was studying most of the time during lecture so I didn¡¦t really pay attention. Whoops =P it¡¦s all good though .. lol the funny thing is .. I got home drunk and stayed drunk until dinner time LOL haha next time I shall eat before I go drinking :P I've learned my lesson
After the exam, Shannon told a bunch of us to go to Absenth (or however you spell it). it¡¦s the pub at Winter¡¦s college ¡K anyway, a bunch of us went and we started ordering cocktail drinks ¡K niala and I both go Long Island Ice Teas ¡V so YUMMY!! MmM .. and then Shannon came with her bunch of essays and exams lol she was like ¡§oh im going to get us pitchers of beer ¡V do you think you¡¦re going to be able to drink it all without wasting.¡¨ Haha we cleaned the pitchers off o_o 3 mind you .. 3 pitchers!! I never thought I liked the taste of beer but Carlsburg is very nice on the tap. REAL NICE =) the prof dropped by to the after exam pub party thingy O_O it was interesting, I¡¦ve never had a prof come in and drink with us. It was awesome!! I want to take another BALFOUR class but alas, woe is me, he¡¦s not teaching next year because he has his sabbatical ¡V oh wellers haha niala and I left drunk XD it was hilarious. We got a guy to tell us the directions to leave Winters and he told us to keep to the left .. so after going up the stairs we turned left .. and we continued turning left ¡K we got lost O_O haha we ended up seeing a girl and two guys and we asked them where we were in Winters and asked them if they could direct us to the bus stop. Well the Chinese/Korean/oriental guy tried to tell us the directions ¡K he was good at it but it didn¡¦t really stay with us considering we were quite out of it already LOL .. niala asked Daniel, the nice pretty look white boy (whom niala took a photo of LOL) to actually take us out of the building LOL it was hilarious. The girl and the guys were probably laughing their asses off because of us ... but Daniel was really nice about it :P should have gotten his number LOL
OH MAN ¡V during the bus ride home ¡K it was bad. I knew I was really out of it and tipsy but seriously ¡K NEVER GO ON A BUS AND NOT GO PEE BEFOREHAND!!! I had to PEE so badly o_o and my bus ride was an hr long -_- half way through the bus ride I had to go .. I was contemplating about getting off the bus and go to the mall and pee or something ¡K but then I didn¡¦t want to wait for another half hr for a bus ¡K so I held it till I got home -_- bad decision ¡K NEVER AGAIN WILL I NOT GO PEE BEFORE I LEAVE SCHOOL, ESPECIALLY WHEN IM DRUNK!! =\ my lesson has been learned ¡K
That¡¦s all for today ¡V happy days
alright so i haven't changed the layout just yet. i'm having trouble keeping up with my school work so im trying to keep to that first. i've had an insane week!! 3 to 4 essays were due last week but thankfully i got extensions to two of them o_o god i hated doing work period. i think i just need to go travel and stay doing that .. i have no motivation in doing anything any more :( i need something in my life to motivate me to do work .. i just want to relax and do nothing O_O i've decided to follow what my mum told me when i was younger "marry rich" LOL
meh, i need to go pay attention now to post mod. class :( so distracted .. too much notes to take in an hr and a half of class. must remind myself to get notes off Niala :)
so much time wasted during reading week LOL oh and BTW HAPPY NEW YEARs o.o both western and um eastern? because we just finished celebrating CHINESE NEW YEARS!! :P haha yeah
i'm planning on changing the layout soon .. but i think that's all i really want to say .. bye now :P
holy shyt it's been exactly 4 months since i've written in this bloggy thing. haha it's been an exhausting year so far, one that i wouldn't want to change. although i've taken into liberty that my work ethics for school is really terrible. i need to overcome my laziness and work my ass off for the next term. seriously, im thinking of dropping the ch 3000 course i have because i've never had such a dis-organized prof before and the one i have for chinese is just the worse. i cant predict what she's going to do next and it's killing my mark!!
on the other hand, my english classes are going pretty well, to an extent. i have yet to actually BUY my books for school, i've been borrowing most of the books for Mod/Post Mod from Niala and we borrowed it off Michelle. LOL yeah im terrible. at least i've started catching up to my readings for Shakespeare and Film Lit. Just had my film lit test/exam (whatever you like to call it) this last friday and now im off for winter hols. it's amazing, alot of my friends are saying how stressed out they are cuz their exams are coming up and stuff and im just saying that im off now and they keep saying im rubbing it in their faces. in a way i am but it is only because they asked if i have any exams scheduled -_- it's not my fault that none of the classes i have scheduled any exams and yet im blamed for telling them i have no exams XD haha what can i say to that?? lol it's not like im not going to answer them .. i just tell them the honest truth :P hehe
i should be doing more readings this hols and i've started, im nearly half way through the book i was suppose to read before hols but it's ok, as long as i have enough time to read my other books for school. i need to start reading the ones i need to read beforehand so i dont have to get dragged behind again. need to go make a trip and visit Mofo (maurice) and Cece at Chapters hehe :) anywhoo, shopping for hols cant be that bad, although i dont have income now cuz work stopped for the month lol .. in a way im happy that work stopped and in another way im not lol oh well ^^ must make a list of things to buy for friends and family .. that's about wraps it up i'll have to get back into typing on a blog ... so much time can be wasted here hehe
HAPPY BDAY to KIMO!!! he's getting OLDER and OLDER every year!! haha then again who isn't ^^
it's been 4 long long months since i update this blog ^^ i usually update my livejournal instead now .. i really dont quite remember how to write in html no more .. hopefully this doesn't turn out too bad.
the shanghai trip with the school is completely over and let me just say that im loving school exchanges alot!! i miss everyone from there .. it's amazing ^^ i cant believe it's so much fun .. the bunch of us from shanghai just got back together for a reunion last night and we went to kbbq .. so YUMMY!! haha and it was just fun fun fun ^^
lotz of photos from my trip and im sad because my SD card isn't working very well ^^ oh well .. i'll have to get it off of kin kin to make it all work .. hopefully .. that's about it just wanted to say im alive .. but then again i really dont know who reads this blog no more o.o ... hmmmm
hmm, I did survive apparently and I didn't need to kiss anyone. Well actually, more like I didn't go and kiss someone XD
Before I update I would like to say a HAPPY BELATED 21st BDAY to my friend GABBY!! I've already wished her a bday on facebook but still, it's nice to have it updated here too I guess.
Now, update time .. Hmm, not much to update on, I survived my horrible two weeks before school ended, and now that it's over with I'm just glad I dont have to worrie about it no more. I've been talking to Minako lately on msn and aim. I haven't spoken to her for awhile, and it's all kool beanz since I talked with her! ... Rinz has been emailing me and all so I'm not too worried about her no more, I just wished Anna would email back. I'm guessing her old email doesn't work and I'm not sure if she's still on FFI like she used to be.
Life has been pretty normal to me, nothing extraordinary has happened. I'm excited and nervous as to what would happen in May though ... for my Shanghai summer school!! I'm so nervous but hopefully it would be a good experience. I've been reading up on shanghai and all, dad wants me to be prepared .. he's nagging me alot lately too about doing everything for the trip. Oh well ^^
As far as I'm concerned now, I only have about a 2 week vacation left before summer school starts, and I have yet to get my travelling visa =\ oopz, need to find time to go downtown for that.
I've been watching alot of movies lately ... recently went to see Take the Lead with Niala (awesome movie xD especially if you see it with nylon it was a HOT movie ... "we dont what no more WHITE BREAD here"), V for Vendetta with Eric (the movie wasn't what I had expected, I really like this movie alot ... "oh Bullocks!!"), planning on seeing Thank You For Smoking with both Sara and Niala this week friday (I think, we haven't really planned it yet but that's the movie we three want to see badly XD) ... and lastly this coming sunday, I'm going to go watch Ice Age2 with jena after work ... WOOT it's going to be good XD hopefully! so many more movies I leave for Shanghai, but I doubt I'd be watching any because I gotta pack and study .. BOO
oh the good news today ^^ I went onto my school email and I found an email from my chinese prof/instructor!! She emails all this crap to us but I guess it can be called 'useful' crap XD haha anyway she emailed our UNOFFICIAL final marks ^^ and I ended up with an UNOFFICIAL B for that class!! I'm so HYPED because I dont usually study for that class .. WOOT go me!!! OH OH OH and Minako did a beautiful job in drawing me my 'future' tattoo with her photoshop skillz!! she PWNZ you ALL .. lmao XD haha I totally <3 the design for my tattoo, I have yet to decide which one I would rather have though .. so I have until next christmas to do that ^^ whee cant wait XP ... k that's all for now .. I hope kimo gets online soon .. I'm bored outta my mind ^^
talk about a long ass break..haha!! so i guess all this nonsense about blogging here religiously didn't go through as well as i though!! XD but the journal thing really did come through .. *nodz* yea that's for sure! i went and found a really old journal that i used to update my World Youth Day events in, and i just started writing pages and pages of events that's happening in my daily life. it's working to calm me down and to keep me as myself. although i must say that it's getting shorter and short now XD i've resorted to only taking point form notes for my events now, and then going back to rewrite them in long form O_O
my lil hysterical phase has passed for now, i dont know if it would come back, hopefully not. i didn't like the feeling of it, and having to find out and deal with my recently discovered phobia. the source to all my problems right now is not really in my life anymore, and i cant blame my friend. we have gotten pretty distant, but i think i'll email him once in a while just to see if he's alive and stuff, just so i can say that im still a friend and i'll try to keep in touch with you even if you dont remember who i am or was.
i was able to get Rinny back online to email me though! that was a big big surprise for me! i was hoping she'd email me back when i emailed her, even though i didn't know if her email worked or not. the only thing that still irks me now is that Anna (aka emi/rs) hasn't returned my email, im guessing she's just really busy or that i have her email all screwed up and wrong. i wish i can somehow contact her. i was talking with sara (aka minako) recently, or just started talking again with her ... she's awesome to talk to ... but she was saying how emi isn't seen around ffi as much now. most likely uni/college has her all busy like the rest of us ^^ i just hope everything is going well for her!!
so anyway, just to update very quickly, i have recently gotten hooked on to Facebook because of frankie who's been really sweet and taking my working shift 4 days straight, so i thought i'd do something he's been pressuring me to do. so yea, i've been peer pressured into getting facebook, and i went and got sara (minako) and nylon to get it with me! it's really funny how you find someone that you haven't talked to .. i got so excited .. and it just made my day when i found Paul Parsons on there, he was like "Melissa Ng ... wow, long time no talk/speak" or something like that ... i haven't seen him since gr. 7 in elementary school in St. Matts! it's so odd but it go me so hyped up about facebook. i have alot of friends there now O_O odd really, but most of those friends are from frankie's facebook XD haha because we all work with them so i just added them to make my friend's page look longer!! :O anyway, i got sara into facebook like i said, and she somehow found her younger brother Kyle!! the weird thing was that Kyle claimed that he's going to poke all of sara's friends (just so he can make her friends think he is weird which would make her friends think she's weird too but i dont know if that worked).. and so i got a poke from him. which obviously i couldn't ignore because i love *pokes* LOL so i poked him back .. o.o he poked me back and it went back and forth from there .. we've poked each other alot .. and one day i found on my home page a lil notice that says "click here to confirm friend" .. i clicked and BOOM i found that it was Kyle that added me as a friend LMAO! i killed myself laughing XD haha i had to go msg sara cuz of that ^^ she then told me how kyle msged her and said that "i poked him like 20 times" or something .. but he should know better; seriously he made me do what i did to him!! he poked me FIRST!! haha XP good times good times!!
went to bombard wet interviews one friday (i went to the library to study for my chinese test because i had a test on monday March 27th), i didn't know there was wet interviews going on but i bummed around for a bit. found alot of my friends going that day and after getting kicked outta the library (it closed) i went to the office to chill. got talking to Eric Ho (one of the guards and my friend) and i realized how fun it was just talking to him and some others were ^^ they're awesome .. XD eventually i got asked to give him my cellie number and my email/msn O_O been talking to eric since XD it's fun really really fun haha it's hard to make me laugh when im online but somehow eric does it so easily O_O odd .... anyway i think that's about it
need to go finish up TONZ of work, i end school this coming tuesday. i got 2 exams coming up on tuesday (still need confirmation that i can bump my exam for sosc: african studies back a bit cuz i have that stupid conflict!) and i need to finish off my take home exam for contemporary lit which needs to be handed in on wednesday before 4pm and i have an oral presentation due on monday and an essay for sosc on tuesday O_O BUSY BUSY WEEK ... i dont know how im going to survive .. but i'll kiss someone if i do!!
must admit im doing this updating thing pretty religiously now. it's odd if you think about it, i dont blog for a while and now you see me blog this often. then again, i dont know how many people actually do read this or mebbe it's just me that reads it (which is all i need really -- but mebbe a few close friends who knows about my dilemmas besides the one that's in it). anyway, it's about my two emotional/mental/insane breakdown, well from the thought of it, it's absolutely insane that i went into that state. i was completely scared .. so frightened that i have no one to turn to, and yet i know there's still one or two people i can turn to. though they're not as close as the one person i lost, they're still close enough to know who i am and like/love me for it. i was in chinese class today and i got into this writing frenzy. i must say that i couldn't stop writing about what i was thinking and feeling at that moment, and i wrote down all my troubles on that sheet of line paper, i just finished that sheet off and started another one .. the whole writing down your feelings thing is finished now and i feel absolutely free from my troubles as of right now, i dont know how long this would last but i know that i have an outlet whether it comes back or not. i realized that by the time i finished this writing frenzy thing, i have accepted the fact that he's moved on to become another person who thinks that we cannot be as good friends as we were once, but i shall give him the benefit of the doubt and give him his "space" -- and i'll occasionally email him to see how he is, he did say that he wont ignore me completely ^^ so im at least happy about that. hopefully we'll always be friends .. even if not close friends .. ^^
all i have now is myself, and like Oprah's show today, if i dont love myself first, there's no way that other people would love me and i love their quote today about "Shame never creates change" ... i have finally realized my outlet for my emotional side and i think this would be a good way to actually get a journal big enough for the shyt i start thinking about. so **note to self** MUST BUY A BIG ENOUGH JOURNAL FOR MY WRITING FRENZYs =)
im on a roll with this updating thing on this site O_O i have another site and yet i dont do anything with that because i know i rarely have people read this one which makes me feel somewhat better cuz no one else can see how unstable i am ... i've finally realized just how naive and insane i am. and yet, im not completely insane .. i am quite sane, just kinda slow in knowing it. i also know that im very unstable whenever im left with my own thoughts and because of that, i have waves of nostalgic feeling popping in and out occasionally which isn't helping me, at least when im the way i am right now. i'm still feeling the aftermath of yesterday's hysterical moment, and yet when im out with someone or out with friends, im good .. im kool, im stable, not going out of control with mental breakdowns. but now? im not so sure. i just need someone right now, whether they be from online and maybe half way around the world or they be right here beside me ... i just need someone to keep me from going on another breakdown. i cant explain it, it's like i can feel that im going into another hysterical breakdown like last night. why? why is just me?
i question my msn list now, or my aim list now. why are there so many people on my list and yet, i dont find that i can turn to anyone to talk to on it. are they only there to keep my mind from figuring out that i'm completely alone and helpless? that i do have friends that care for who i am and what happens to me. i wonder now .. what if i just stopped going online, would people actually notice i'm gone? sometimes i think i fear being alone more than i fear spiders. although im not sure myself what my phobia is, i know i have a few but i just cant seem to name any ... but now that i think about it, the more i think about it, the more im left alone with my thoughts i know for a fact that im completely afraid of being alone. i dont know if this is normal and i will never find out if this is normal but i just need some closure to my past life, my past high school life .. from all the random people i meet online and those i meet in person. i just need to stop and get on with the future that has been prepared for me ... one that i can change if i so decide it to, but it will never happen if i never get to know how i can stop my mental breakdowns. it's finally happened, and i will never know if it will stop.
i sent an email to kimo hopefully he'll reply soon, im quite worried about him right now because i haven't talked to him for over a week or so. which is odd cuz he's usually online by this time and i'd be able to talk to him.anyway, hopefully he's kool beans right now, cuz it wouldn't do for me to find out that he's not -_- hopefully he's alright!
OMG what the hell is happening to me!!! o.o i need someone to talk to and fast, im having this nauseating wave of nostalgism .. and it's freaking me out! i cant explain anything, and the fact that i have no one to turn to right now just scares the crap outta me. i know i have friends, but certain friends just dont know what to do in this type of situation, where's kimo when you need him!! O_O KIMO COME BACK ONLINE PLEASE I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!!! im going into some sorta of hysterics right now, and im beginning to hyperventilate O_O this is so not normal for me O_O it's scare-ing me!! *hugs drew tyte* thank you for talking to me on msn rite now ... you're amazing ... and all this freaking out is over a really close guy friend .. nylon knows what i'm talking about, and possibly kimo knows too, which is also why i wanted to talk to either nylon or kimo ... O_O WHERE ARE YOU TWOOOOOOOOOOO ...
why must i think about my friend now of all times?!?! O_O WHY WHY WHY!?!?! stupid people changing for no reason, i hate change yet i cant help but change myself ... and because of what im feeling now, which i cant fully describe, i find myself questioning who i really am as a person. why does it seem to me that i am leading two different lives, one that has my personality and the other also with my personality but completely different from the first. i dont know who i am no more, i know im me but who's this me im talking about now? the one that understands what happens within the lives of my friends, and not her own? or the one that just agrees with what her peers say and stay as quiet in class as possible!??! or mebbe it's just the one that bottles everything up and cannot be expressed freely and now rants about why she doesn't know who she is no more? ... O_O i think im going mental
ok so im back and updating once again. my sister is next to me and being her nosy self so i cant really do anything about it. before i forget i wanna wish everyone a very HAPPY ANTI VALENTINE's DAY .. mind you i dont like valentine's so that is why i say ANTI. i see no point with valentines day. i truly believe it's only for commercial and used as an excuse to get out of the house ... that's probably why valentine's day exist!! O_O i hate HEARTS !!! tho they look like in other colours besides red .. i like it in pink O_O really nice then .. but still i guess if you have someone to spend vday with it's nice to have an excuse to leave the house .. altho still i dont know .. meh ..
i have reading week this week, so im not at school .. haha not till monday!! yay! i've been sleeping in alot and going out with friends in the evening sometimes altho i've planned on not going out for the next couple of days. i need to get started on my work or else i'd be really really really REALLY behind! i'm already behind but still..i hate being behind. I need to go to the library and grab some books on Africa or South Africa and need to do lotz of research. My sosc class is killing me now!! i really dont like that class, so boring but still the prof makes it sounds so interesting --- i dont like the texts i think that's why i hate it.
anyway, lets recap for yesterday shall i? i went out with Mofo (maurice or as some of you know him as Tearsmemory) and Drew (aka kuponut) to Yura, the movies to see "curious george" and then to Go For Tea for bbt. The food at Yura wasn't bad but WAY expensive and curious george was really adorable and Go For Tea is yummy as always ^^ haha the ironic thing is that yesterday was Vday and we didn't know we made plans for this day till a day ago!! =\ stupid us eh? lol oh well .. it was kool just to catch up with Drew, altho he's in the same school now it's not the same ... i dont see him as often ^^ tho he does work at the York Bookstore ..O_O must find him there one day and make fun of him! haha k im outty .. sister wants me to get an account in Neopets, ask me why im getting one .. and i wont be able to answer you!!! *stabs everyone*
it's been WAY TOO long since i've updated this thingy!! heheh i wonder if anyone still reads this shyt @_@ oh well...anyway i've been using my LJ more often than i should. hahaha i keep telling myself im using it cuz i need it for school, but really .. i dont know anymore, i have more of my personal rantings out on lj than i would here now. i gotta change it or else i wouldn't be using this blog no more -_- cant really call it that now eh?
weather's been odd lately, it's been hot one week and then it's FREEZING cold the next week .. O_O hehe that's what global warming is doing to the world XD it's KILLING IT!! i've been slacking off work again,that's only school work mind you, i cant slack off from work work -_- i get in trouble for that i think =\ life isn't the same no more, it's just something that i need to get on with -_- nothing special is happening and nothing dull is happening .. it's just a mediocre life O_O
i think the only time i can be myself is when im around my friends, im usually holed up in my room now when i get home and if im not im still holed up in my room not doing anything productive LOL haha life can be dull i tell ya ^^ i think my time with Niala has made me a lot more aloof than i would have been without her influence ^^ it's not a bad thing at all...hopefully i'll be out of my so-called shell (as Sara and Niala calls it) as soon as i grow up XD haha still as immature as a 5th grader but hey, life is better with not stress and worries ... tho that's not quite true but enough to make my life as carefree as possible ...
k i've said enough, might as well do something with my time ... O_O like start my essays?? -_- eeep
Ok, so it's 2:33AM so what!? :O i know it's definitely EARLY but i just got home from having a late night snack with my friends. We went to see Russell Peters at the Toronto Center for the Arts. It was AMAZING!!! haha the laughs and jokes, HILARIOUS xd and you all know that it wouldn't be Russell Peters with his "Somebody's going to get a real hurting real bad" impression!! it was great to end the day with Russell Peters ^^ I shall add my pics later tomorrow (or today rather) when i had enough sleep ^^ so G'NIGHT you LOZERSSSSSSSS
Edit@9:27pm
Ok, so if you want to see pics, go to my Livejournal
Just got home from using the VIVA transit and it took over hr too get home..stupid rush hr...Anyway, had a good day at school especially during the lecture for Sosc (African studies) and my tutorial for Canadian Lit. haha My prof for Sosc is awesome, he uses so many references to movies and music is amazing how much we can learn in those 1.5 hrs!! plus the fact that he keeps us on our toes and makes everything so amusing is good for me i guess ^^ Now, with Canadian Lit tutorial, it was awesome!! hahaha well before the class anyway. A bunch of us were outside waiting, eatting lunch and trying to cram a piece of paper with some poetry close reading for the class (out TA wanted it done but really, she's not even checking so why bother? haha). We'd figured that we'll put in on one piece of paper and do everything together since it doesn't really matter much. Somehow while we were talking about this certain poem, sexual references came up and we started cracking up cuz only one of us could see it while the rest of us (there were 3 in total) were like "WTF are you on again!!!".. haha .. and it's funny too cuz our TA was saying how she was seeing it too, we just about cracked up XD OMG in our tutorial class there's this one girl that has HERMIONE hair!!! LOL it's funny .. but she looks like a man to me tho ;_; eep
im going to edit this later, dinner calls my name!!! I feel sick again .. want to throw up ... ewwwwwww
Edit@12am
Like i said, i'd come back to edit, altho it's another brand new day already! haha anyway, i have my chinese test tomorrow, i mean, today .. and im trying to study as much as i can. it shouldn't be too hard but the pinyin is just stupid! i cant do the fucking tones and i just might as well forget it cuz it's hard to study on your own O_O i need jena to help me!!! OMG ... i hope i do ok later today. anyway, i gotta go now. back to my studying!!!! GO MEEEE ;P
Edit@12:26pm
ok so i cant really concentrate so what!?!?!? SUE ME!! lol im just going to do really bad tomorrow -_- thank god there's other tests!!! hahaha anyway, i found this quiz somewhere o.o i dont remember how tho ... *links*
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
what do you think? o.o i find it quite like me in reality XD it's scaryyyyyy
I'm re-using this REALLY REALLY old layout that was made for me in 2003. WHY? you ask? i have no clue, i've just been hit with a wave of nostalgia once again. i was looking through my files and i found the html codes for this and i was like .. why the hell not .. and reused it ^^ i loved this layout .. one of the REALLY REALLY old ones i got back when i first started blogging
life's been ok, stressed lately with school and work tho. I'm not really sure how i'll be handling a full course load of school and three work days ... FULL work days i guess you can say..only on saturday it's 2 hrs but still it's work and it's hard to keep up. I'm already behind in alot of my english courses, haven't read as much as i would have liked for them, and im going to be behind in my social science and chinese course if i dont keep up.
like i said earlier, i've been hit once again with a nostalgic feeling. dont you feel like you want to go back in time just to revisit what happened back then? i want to go back to two yrs ago, i really liked how carefree i was and didn't give a crap about anything. altho i'm still like that, i've matured and do less obnoxious things. even my writing style is different then two yrs ago *points to the right under Layout* my 'nostaglic' (for no other word really describes my feelings well) phase comes often doesn't it? and it's usually the same thing...i miss my friends...friends i met online, from school .. just everyone O_O i feel so lonely and how my future is going to be like this. i just wish the friends i made from yrs before would stay the same .. i think i just realize something, i have a phobia of change. although i change gradually i dont like change when it comes at you and hits you in the face and you dont know what it is. i hate it when it's like *snap* and it's different. i need it to gradually grow on me .. and yet, that's not what happened these pass two yrs. mebbe that's why this feeling is coming back to me all the time ...
anyway, im going to go now, i hope this new site would be ok for now. I might just change it back to my old one again since i've used it the longest...
Melissa; 21; July10; Toronto; Canada; YorkU; email; msn; Lifeguard; Camp Counselor; co-op student - grade 2 TA; © driving aimlessly; hangout w/ friends; movies; music; astronomy; Harry Potter; x arrogance; ignorance; people who CANNOT drive PROPERLY
email: @YorkU
aim: AIM
msn:
strawberrytriglyceride
[double quote][quotes]PROPZ go to my friend Silvi for making me this ownage layout! you r0x0rz my b0x0rz, and anywayz if u didn't make this layout you would of raped me.[/quote]
*gasps* o.o guess who wrote that!!! LMAO! yes none other than Silvi lol [/double quote]
I realise how really 'young' i sound when i typed all that back in 2003 -_- i feel so old now ... it's not fair at all, i dont talk to Silvi as much, she's still on my msn but i hardly talk to her .. it's still nice to credit her tho since she did make this layout 2 yrs ago
† God's Team
† LJ
† Playing Rain Li - Dream of Colours