Quotes

My favorite Joe Dirt Quote (which is also on my voicemail):

Joe Dirt: "So your gonna' tell me that you don't have no black cats, no roman candles, or screaming mimis?"
Kicking Wing: "No."
Joe Dirt: "Oh come on man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?"
Kicking Wing: "No, I don't."
Joe Dirt: "You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?"
Kicking Wing: "No... because snakes and sparklers are the only ones I like."
Joe Dirt: "Well that might be your problem, it's not what you like, it's the consumer."

But really, all of these quotes are my favorites...

• "Life's a garden, dig it!"

• "Keep on keepin' on."

• Robbie:"Did I get you Dirt?"
  Joe:"Nah, I'm cool"
  Robbie:"No, you're not."

• "Things are gonna happen for me, I'm Joe Dirt."

• "I'm a rocker through and through. Here's a list of my favorite bands: AC/DC, Van Halen not Van Hagar, Skynyrd, Def Leppard... "

• Zander Kelly: "So, what you're telling me, is that you're so ingrained with White Trash, that your facial hair just grows in all white trashy like that?"

• "You guys got somethin' to say to me? Why don't you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mike right here. Check one two, testing, testing. Yup, they both working and guess what? they don't like no feed back, what's up?"

• "My name is Joe Dirte, I added an e to the end, cause it sounds cool."

• "There are three rules when dealing with a deadly crocodile. Rule number one, I'm number one. Rule number two, the croc's number two."

• "YOU JUST SAID YOUR SISTER WAS HOT. WHAT A FREAK. You're going to Hell, Dude." (Joe to himself)
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