Bill's Porta Potty Adventure: Uncensored Version!
PLEASE TAKE NOTE: Right about now you're thinking, "Uncensored version? What the dickfart?!" Well, I don't blame you. I mean, why would someone wanna make TWO versions of this damn story? Well, it's kind of a long story. Basically, this is the original one that I wrote in Mr. Peefe's class in eighth grade and also the one that I made all of my helpless friends read. Shortly after that, I lost it and decided it was probably gone forever. At the end of my eighth grade year, my little sister made a website and asked me if I wanted to contribute a story, so I wrote the censored version of BPPA that's considerably shorter and DEFINETLY less disgusting. I censored it because her friends are all younger than me and I guess I was trying to be considerate. Also my sister's a total pussy and would never NEEEEVVEEERR have used the original, even if I'd had it at the time. So anyway, when I made Mallory Eats Poop a few months later, I used the same censored version, and it's been up here almost since the beginning. Then, just a few weeks ago, I was searching through my drawers when I found two pieces of paper folded up inside an old notebook. I unfolded them and...HAPPY DAY!...it was none other than the original version of BILL'S PORTA POTTY ADVENTURE! Okay so, just to warn you: I am not kidding when I say that this version is a million times as raunchy as its censored couterpart. This is NASTY STUFF, people! This story contains the following: penises being shot off (big surprise), sticky diarrhea, a transexual, and a possible hint of some serious incestual necrohpilia. If you just read all that and you still wanna take a look at this story, then you're almost as sick as I am...
My name is Bill. For the past four years I have lived in a run-down sideways porta-potty off of Highway 40. Sometimes I like to hide in my potty and pop out at cars. One time I tried to hitchhike but no one would pick me up 'cause I was covered in poop.
Well one time I was trying to sleep and a bunch of punks started kicking my potty! Well I jumped out and told them to get the hell away from my house and threw hardened logs of poop at them. Well one of the turds was so hard it killed a guy! So now I'm on the run from the law!
Well now there's a guy chasing me. His name is Officer Jean-Claude Penissimo. He shot a hole in my potty and that kinda pissed me off but I was even angrier when he shot my dick off. Well it was around that time that I realized Officer Penissimo was really a lesbian drag-queen named Beatrice McPrick! And damn she was hot except I couldn't fuck her because remember my dick was gone at this point so I was like "damn!"
I glued a turd to my crotch and told her it was my weiner but she didn't believe me so I got all mad and peed on her. It was the next best thing to doing her because you see at this point I was so horny even my grandma was starting to look pretty dman good even though she's been dead for seven years she's still hot. By the way the glue wasn't really glue I just diarrhead on myself and it was sticky.
Well then I started getting really pissed so I moved to Brighton and changed my name to Mr. Peefe and I've lived here to this day. First I lived in a house but it just wasn't the same so I stole a porta-potty from a construction site and now I live there, all of me minus my dick which got shot off. I never found it I was sorta bummed last time I saw it they put a santa hat on it and called it Mr. Hankey.
NOTE: I warned you. Good luck sleepin' tonight, sailor.