Rumble at the Porn Pavillion
Well hello there folks! My name's Ambrosia Bushwell, and I live in a trailor next to the Porn Pavillion with my cat Blarney and my seventeen brothers named Roger. I wish we had a swimming pool or a working toilet, but no, we just have to swim in the sink and crap in the yard! But that's not what this story's all about.See one day my cat Blarney got kidnapped by the owner of the Porn Pavillion. He said people kept stealing his porn and now he was so poor that he had to sell Blarney for drugs! Well I knew I had to save poor Blarney because who knows what would happen to him when those drug dealers got ahold of him, I mean, they could rape him up the butt or something! So I knew I had to take action!
I ran down the road to find my oldest brother so he could kick the Porn Guy's ass! I knew just where to find him of course, same place he always is, the Gay Disco Dancehall. I got there and I yelled, "Where's Roger?" Trouble is, all my brothers are named Roger, so it took a while to find the right one.
So I found him and I said, "Rog, Rog, the Porn Guy took Blarney!" And he said, "Who gives a crap, I was about to score with that cutie over there in the corner!" The cutie in the corner was actually a goat someone had snuck in, but Roger don't see too well. Anywho, I said, "Rog, if you don't help me save Blarney I'll use the clippers on you again!" That scared him something fierce, so he hiked up his glitter spandex hot-pink leggings and we went to the Porn Pavillion.
I burst into the Porn Pavillion and said, "Gimme back my cat, you ninny!" Turns out that at that exact moment the Porn Guy was trying to shove my cat in a box and good ol' Blarney was clawing him in the nipple! And he yellin', "AHHHHH! MY NIPPLE!"
Rog got mideval on his ass and then we stole all his porn and carried it home in a little red wagon we stole from some kid. Blarney purred and I said, "Golly, thanks Rog, but you do know that that hottie in the corner back at the Dancehall was really a goat!" And he said, "I know dude, that goat was HOT!" Oh Rog!
So it's a happy ending, 'cause we got Blarney and enough porn to last a lifetime! Hooray Blarney, and Hooray porn! Who needs a working toilet after all?