The Sick Sad Story of Eunice
When I was little, my dance teacher was always mean to me. He told my parents that in all his years as a dance teacher, he had never seen a more worthless lump of crap. After he said that, mommy cried. I asked her why, and she said it was because she couldn't believe such a worthless failure had come out of her womb. That made me confused, so I peed on the rug.I always wanted to be a ballerina when I was little. My parents were happy and said I could be anything I wanted to be. But once I hit 350 pounds, they stopped saying that. I just can't stop eating! The other day the dog had puppies, and I ate them. They needed salt.
My first day in dance, I tried to do a pirouette. I fell down and made a big hole in the stage. After class, I asked my teacher how I was doing. He said that I sucked so wonderfully that if I opened up a prostituting business, I could make thousands of dollars. Then he told me to tie a plastic back around my head and take a deep breath. But mommy always gets paper :(
Sometimes I wonder things. Like why my parents make me sleep out in the doghouse. Or why daddy always accidently backs over me with the car. But I have to keep my mind focused on dancing, or I will never achieve my dream.
Well I have to go now. Fluffy just had kittens.