| (Mallory taps him on the shoulder.) Sam: It's my day of jubliee! Mallory: I despise you and everything you stand for. Sam: Okay, my day was a little better a few seconds ago, but it's fine. Mallory: How could you write that position paper? Sam: What position paper? Mallory: Don't play dumb with me, Sam. Sam: No, honestly, Mallory, I AM dumb. Most of the time I"m playing smart. Mallory: Sam. Sam: Mallory, you aren't actually thinking of ruining my day of jubilee by yelling at me about school vouchers. Mallory: I was seriously considering it. SAM: It was a position paper MALLORY: And your position is that school vouchers are a good idea SAM: How did you get this paper? MALLORY: I'm related to your boss SAM: Your father gave you my position paper? MALLORY: Yes SAM: See. I think he's trying to drive a wedge between us MALLORY: It worked SAM: Look... MALLORY: I thought we had something going on, Sam SAM: We do MALLORY: And yet you haven't told me that you favor school vouchers SAM: I... first of all, hang on. We haven't been on a date yet. MALLORY: I'm saying... SAM: And what kind of dates have you had that you're amazed this hasn't come up?MALLORY: I'm a public school teacher SAM: Seriously. The other guys. They order drinks and they say, "Before we go any further, I'd like you to know my position on school vouchers?" MALLORY: Are you going to have a serious discussion with me about this? SAM: No. MALLORY: No? SAM: No. Because you know why? Because I am off duty. Toby and I have spent the last three months putting a guy on the bench. The sun has set and I have earned my government salary and then some. I'm done working. And we haven't been out on a date and that's supposed to be tonight. Now we�re going to go in there and watch C.J. do �The Jackal.� And believe me, if you haven't seen C.J. do �The Jackal,� then you haven't seen Shakespeare the way it was meant to be done. We're going to watch C.J. do �The Jackal� and then we're going to get a late dinner, after which I may or may not kiss you good night. �Cause there is something going on between us, Mallory. But frankly, I don't think you're doing a very good job on your part, so I've decided to take over. MALLORY: You're taking over? SAM: Yes. Let's go MALLORY: Not much chance SAM: I didn't think so, but you got to give me credit for trying MALLORY: Good night there, Skipper. (MALLORY leaves) SAM: Apparently you don't have to give me credit for trying. MALLORY: Tax dollars should go to public schools, not aiding the shipment of students to private schools, many of which are religious. And by the way, I don't know how you�re getting around the separation of Church and State on that one. SAM: We have people on the payroll who are experts at obfuscating the Constitution. MALLORY: So I've noticed. SAM: Anything else? MALLORY: Oh, yes. (She pulls out her list from his position paper.) SAM: We've been here for an hour, Mallory. MALLORY: School vouchers provide help for only a few students. SAM: We're offering a solution for that. MALLORY: You're offering a lifeboat to the select few for whom vouchers will make any kind of difference. SAM: Mallory, everything that you're saying makes sense. I just think that the state of urban schools is such that if you can save even one kid... (She stands.) MALLORY: You can save more than one kid. SAM: Tell me how. MALLORY: By asking Congress to approve, not just a little, but a lot more money for public education. (SAM laughs.) MALLORY: What? SAM: (stands) Public education has been a public policy disaster for 40 years. Having spent around four trillion dollars on public schools since 1965, the result has been a steady and inexorable decline in every measurable standard of student performance, to say nothing of health and safety. But don't worry about it, because the U.S. House of Representatives is on the case. I feel better already. MALLORY: (beat) Wow. SAM: What? MALLORY: For a guy who's trying to date me, that was pretty snotty. SAM: Well, hang on. These are office hours. If I'd know I was working on that I would have had a whole different attitude. |