�What the hell does banana bread have to do with Vincent Price?��Uncle Dick
�Don�t look at the big picture. It just screws you up.��Schempp
�It�s like dropping a marble into a lemon merengue pie.��Bill Woodward
�God, is this all there is? The ricocheting down the corridor of laughter and tears? Of self-worship and self-loathing? Of glory and disgust?��Sylvia Plath
One does not applaud the tenor for clearing his throat. Anonymous
�Poetry is putting real toads in imaginary gardens.��Marianne Moore
�We will squeeze them until the pips squeak.��David Lloyd George
�Mandatory worship stinks in God�s nostrils.� Roger Williams
�If I get too clich�, you can edit me down to my nipples��Esther Phillips
�There is nothing between you and Hell but the air��Jonathan Edwards
�Nobody wants to be dropped like a subjugated spider.��Gail Pike
�Before I knew it, I was getting a rubdown��Helen Fountaine
�Is everybody lit?��Nate Potter
�Even in our most manicured spaces, the desert renews itself.��Adriel Heisey
�When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.��Franklin D. Roosevelt
�Self preservation! What is self-preservation?��Esther Phillips
�If you�re happy with inactivity, stay with the horse.��George W. Bush
�We put cheese in places you�ve never dreamed of!��A Pizza Hut commercial
�Each one as before will chase his favorite phantom��William Cullen Bryant
�We don�t need ethics at this time of night!��A. Louise Clark
"Can't act. Can't sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little."--A MGM Talent Scout on Fred Astaire's First Screen Test
�I have two racks, as most people do.��My grandmother
�We have just run out of greater fools.��Bud Selig
�What region of Earth is not full of our calamities?��Virgil
�The clown profanes the world in order to define the sacred.��John Lahr
�Little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far it extendeth. For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures, and talk but a tinkling cymbal, when there is no love.��Francis Bacon
"We just don't have egg on our face; we have an omelet all over our suits."--Tom Brokaw
"He spent the morning putting in a comma and the afternoon wondering whether or not he should replace it with a semi-colon."--Anonymous
" In the language of screen comedians four the the main grades of laugh are the titter, the yowl, the bellylaugh, and the boffo. The titter is just a titter. The yowl is a runaway titter. Anyone who has ever had the pleasure knows all about a bellylaugh. The boffo is the laugh that kills. An ideally good gag, perfectly constructed and played, would bring the victim up this ladder of laughs by cruelly controlled degrees to the top rung, and would then proceed to wobble, shake, wave, and brandish the ladder until he groaned for mercy. Then, after the shortest possible timeout for recuperation, he would feel the first wicked tickling of the comedian's whip once more and start up a new ladder."--James Agee