Starring: Angelina Jolie, Gerard Butler, Ciar�n Hinds, Djimon Hounsou
Directed by: Jan de Bont

Anyone looking for a good time at the movies...please see Pirates instead.

For some reason or other, they made a sequel to the first Tomb Raider movie, even after that one wasn't too much of a success. Despite my opinion at the time, the first movie wasn't too great and I'm sad to say this one is worse.

First of all, why make a movie of a game franchise that nobody plays anymore? Hell, when the forst movie came out, nobody was playing Tomb Raider anyway! This movie is stupid. There I said it!

Noted plunderer and rich lady Lara Croft is on a mission to stop a madman from getting his hands on Pandora's box, thereby unleashing a deadly force that would wipe out the world. He would save only those he deems worthy, i.e. intellectuals, top scientists, etc etc. Oooh! Look! A madman bend on taking over (and destroying) the world! Wow! I've never seem that before!

Jolie is always having such fun as Croft, but good action sequences are sparse and not directed very well at all. A lot of people (let's face it) are gonna see this movie for her. Why, then, are there never more than a few consecutive seconds of her on the screen without some distraction happening. I found myself wanting to fall asleep at certain points. The plot is so mind-numbingly stupid and your brain in such a comatose state that you could hardly notice the giant plot holes throughout. ACME Bat-man suits? Punching a bloody shark in the face!!! What the hell?!?! And how do poor Chinese people living on a boat afford a giant plasma TV, I'll never understand. And what about those mystical African tree creatures? How could they possibly have weaknesses? They're magical! They can do anything, no?

I understand that at a movie like this, you're not supposed to over-analyse, but the awfulness of it is too hard to ignore. Save you money, people.

DroopyMcC
Six