Yes sports fans, the great Dr Gaul is still alive and well. (As if any of you really cared anyways). So what I have I been up to this summer? Well, I decided to take a pay cut, quit my cushy job at CompuSmart for 3 months, and go back to work at camp. Now I know what many of you are thinking... "I bet he went back to see if he could get some of that fine underage booty again". And you know what? You'd be absolutely correct.

The best part of camp is by far the horny ladies. They are everywhere, and you live with them for nearly 3 months. Things happen. Sometimes you forget to ask their age and later on you find out just how old they really are, and then you have nightmares of being locked away in a cell with a cellmate named Cletus who likes to watch as you sleep and shower.

Ok, so before real camp starts, I go to a week long camp. Enter lifeguard #1, Melanie. Very hot, tall, slim, athletic. Age? 20, perfect. Does she want me? Hell yes she does. After the first week, I laid down some good roadwork, after the 2nd week, it was a homerun. Gaul is back in the game.

So here I am at real camp, and before I know it, temptation is knocking at my tent. Nice girl, pretty hot, rich Jewish princess starts talking to me excessively. After a week, I used my honed senses to realize that she wants me. Excellent... ... But wait, let me ask, just how old are you? 17? Hmmm�.. let's see, you're 5 years younger than me and younger than my youngest brother. Probably not a good idea, I have experience with this. Plus I have lifeguard #1. And thus ended the first temptation of Gaul.

Now enter lifeguard #2. Very shy, very cute, athletic, funny. Age: a respectable 20. At least we're past the teens and a leap onto the side of legality. Does she like me? Yup, and vice versa also. Due to lifeguard #1, not too much can happen, or can it? I'll have to stop this story here in case itoop's readership is larger than I think (not likely) and to protect the virgin ears of the majority of itoop readers. (Hitch & Ditch and Captain Goodnight can email me for further details).

Ok, there were other things that happened at camp, too. I got duct taped to a chair and left to die by 3 female staff members, got drunk with the head girl counselor and assistant camp director in his chalet, nearly drowned while attempting a 360 in a kayak, competed in the Miss Carowanis Pageant and lots more. Ah, the memories will last a lifetime.

So why did I write this, you're probably asking? Well after reading Hitch & Ditch's sad article about his dry summer without any ladies except imaginary lab babes, I decided to fill in for him until he gets his groove back.. Isn't it funny how the tables have turned. Whoohahahaha. Lock up your daughters�