by: antsy

Ever have one of those really embarrassing moments, but no one's around to point it out? Times when you realize that if someone did catch you, it would have been pretty damn hard to explain. Here are a couple, although I can't take credit for the first one. In fact, I'll probably be lambasted for mentioning it to another soul, let alone the throngs of itoopia readers.

My friend Minoosha (alias) will tell you that first impressions are important. And during her first week at work, she had the misfortune of having a sore in her mouth. Ewwww, you say? Well, that wouldn't slow Minoosha down... she was working at her desk, doing some reading on her desktop. Unfortunately, she also forgot her glasses that day, so she was doing the squinty-eyed thing too. There she is, her nose glued to the screen, with a sore that starts to make her drool too...

Yup, she's staring at the monitor, drooling like some cubicle-dwelling half-simian. Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed hearing this over lunch. Can you imagine if her boss walked by?! Wow... I'm almost glad that was left to my imagination.

boss: i... i...
minoosha: yeshhsshhh...?
boss: i... found... i found... hmph.
minoosha: ooga?
boss: yes, ooga.

The second story occurred after stepping out of the shower one day. I left my razor in the bathroom upstairs, but the shaving cream was with me downstairs. As a time-saving measure, I put the shaving cream on my face and proceeded to walk upstairs. Of course, I should have thought to put my shirt on before applying the shaving cream, but what the hey, and I carried my shirt with me.

On the way up I realized that there were two tubs of cole slaw (don't ask) downstairs that should have been brought up. Being a practical fellow, I've now got cole slaw in one hand, a shirt in the other and shaving cream all over my face. As you can tell, I had no room left for dignity.

About half way up the stairs, I noticed a couple things:

1. We've got a lot of windows in our house facing next door neighbors.

2. Man, I really have no shirt on, do I?

I think I managed to dodge all the windows, although my dignity was left far behind. But I'll find it again. At least I know where not to start looking, right Minoosha?