THE BEGINNING
By: Allison Ann Haning
It was a stormy night I was alone again tonight. Mom and Dad left for some dance. It was scary in that house, I wanted to call a friend but I don�t have any anymore. I watched the blank screen of the T.V for hours. It was 1:30. Mom and Dad would be back tomorrow morning. I had all night to think. I hugged the tattered bear I carried with me. He was little comfort to me anymore. When I was little he would talk to me. Now his words can hardly be heard over the screaming of the evil now taking over my head. I couldn�t focus anymore, my drawings where sloppy my poems made no sense, and I couldn�t even hold a conversation for more then a few minutes. It was so hard for me to keep friendships. Most of my friends had left and drifted away. Now I was alone. My parents didn�t want to deal with me anymore. I was on so many meds. I stopped taking them two months ago. I don�t feel any different. It was time to end the pain. No one cared anymore. No one wanted me anymore. The bear held little concern in what I did. He used to care, but he was sick of me too. The evil was getting louder. I walked up the steps for the last time, walked into my room and lay on my bed.
�Maybe it�s time I take those meds.� I thought aloud. I grabbed the bottles and dumped them on my bed. I walked off to bathroom to get a glass of water. I came back and looked at the pile of assorted pills the colors swirled all around me. I smiled for the first time in almost a year. I sat on my bed and grabbed a hand full of pills and swallowed them. I took almost all of them before I passed out. I remember floating above my body, watching the paramedics� wheel me out to the ambulance. Watching the doctors pump my stomach. It was two weeks before I returned to my body. I awoke in a room alone, just as I was before. That got me no absolution. My bear was tucked neatly next to me. He was my only companion anymore, even if he didn�t care anymore, he was all I had alone in that room. The I.V in my arm stung when I moved. I ripped it out of my arm and laid back down. I closed my eyes and drifted.