Now for the Sword of Truth Plot Generator: Our hero of truth and justic and things, Richard Rahl, is going to kill
by
because
to death
He also ordered his soldiers to torture
because
While this is happening, his wife is
She is a brilliant military tactician and shows this when her force is outmatched by
These seemingly inhumane tactics are justified because
Meanwhile
Falls in love with Richard until he kills her because
Mr. Goodkind also takes some pages out of his 1,000 page epic to write about
For the record, I made none of that up. All of that stuff happens at least twice in the series. Doesn't it sound like an awesome series? Your answer should have been hell yeah because most of that stuff (especially killing the 8 year-old girl) is pretty awesome, but the books themselves are poorly written and they suck.
At this point, I believe the publishers don't even read the books anymore. They probably just glance at the title and if it sounds like something that will sell, they give the aspiring author a rigorous test. Of course, the author passes the test no matter what, since the title of the book will make money and that's all the bastards care about. Goodkind's test probably looked like this:
Wow! My scanner is a piece of shit! If you can't tell, here's what it says (speeling errors intentional): "1. True or false: Deus ex machina means "two sex machines"?* Tru 2. What are the two most important features of fantasy literature? Explain your answer. Boobs and amost-rape cause thats what I fantasize about. 3. How can one most effectively characterize a villain? by having the main character say he lacks moral clarty and having him rgue with the main character. 4. What are the three best parts of literature? Moral clarity, breasts, and things."
*Deus ex Machina and two sex machiens do have one thing in common, however: Goodkind incessantly write about both.
