Continued from here
12. Yeah, asshat, only staying up really late is a bad idea when you're sick because the immune system goes to hell when you're tired. What is it with girls constantly wanting to make others suffer with them? When I suffer, I try to spare other people from that suffering, unless I hate that person or I'm feeling spiteful. OK, so I don't try to spare other people from suffering very often, but I don't bitch about it until they start suffering either.
13. This one's ok, as long as her favorite movie isn't some bullshit teen "romance comedy" (which are generally neither romantic nor comedic). If her favorite movie is something like Army of Darkness or V for Vendetta. then you should recieve a dozen chainsaw wounds to the balls for not watching it with her.
14. ...why? Are you such a slut that getting your waist grabbed is the thrill of your day and you rank it among the top 20 things you want people to do to you?
15. OK, fine, but when you mention a guy, a lesbian, a transvestite, a girl with a guy's name, or a particularly masculine female I get to bitch slap you.
16. I've nothing to say about this one, because it's actually somewhat true, unless she just wants to hang out so she can whine about her problems and get some sympathy. I hate girls who do that. I don't do sympathy. Sympathy is why you have friends. Come to me with a problem if you want it to be solved. And if I give you advice and you don't follow my advice and come back complaining in a week, I'm going to throw a flaming hatchet at you.
17. Are you sure? I always thought people went on dates and got married and shit because someone made them feel unimportant.
18. Why? So you can catch a cold and then keep me up all night because you're sick? What does the weather have to do with how romantic a kiss is? The amount of water being dripped on your head does not change the fact that you are leaning forward, making oral contact, holding it for second, and then moving away. Besides, who likes getting their clothes all wet just so you can kiss? My asumption is that after this you would ask to borrow one of my shirts, which you would likely keep and sleep in because of some weird stalker obsessiveness.
19. So, basically you want me to be inexperienced and completely unaware of all previous advice you've given me with your vast wisdom? Well, there's 18 steps of my life you just wasted!
20. I think I speak for every man on earth when I say FUCK NO!
Oh, and it's been more than four minutes since I posted that list. Where's my fucking kiss/call/message?
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