Marionette 10-21-02

Too cold and too pained,
I almost cried again today.
Foundation of lies and
drug-inspired affairs -
I realize what this
shell contains...
But it's too late
to change the factors
that have made me -
too late to sustain the
laugh or prevent the rain.
It's too late to erase the tear
and too late to repair
the seams...
I'm sorry if something
inside of me is ruined.
I'm sorry if you
don't approve...
But I cannot go
back to amend these
things - I can only
put them here -
inside of me...
I cannot convey these horrors
to you
because you can never
see beyond yourself
and beyond the petty strings
that dictate your every move...
I've cried for you - so many times
when you've hurt me.
And always you return
with your choreographed dance
of disdain and disregard.
Puppet princess on parade -
I pity your falicies.
I pity you - your vacant stare,
motionless while madly dancing...
You blow away...
Like the dust collecting
where your mind
used to be...
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