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Ideal of Departure

I found myself thinking of you
and remembering about the things you'd never do
And I was almost sure that I loved you...
And even now, though I've entered something new
I never felt alone until I met you.
And they've all told me how much you cared
And I thought I felt it even though
you were never there
but I felt so special because of all that
we shared
I tried so hard to tell you, I think we were both scared
I still can feel the torchure I caught in your stare
I miss wasting time with our stories and lies
I miss every minute that we let pass us by
I wish I had known then, and I wish I had tried
I want to feel you love me, but I want to see you cry...
Almost every night I cried a little, every minute I'd die
All I wanted was to be a
part of you then
And I may still want you, but I'm asking you WHEN?
You may never come back and you may never bend
but I'm broken enough for us both... in the end...
Why do I wander back to you now and then?
I just want to know what we almost had
I just want to stop myself from feeling so bad
I can't help myself from getting this mad
because I know
I was the best that you never had.

12-11-00
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