POETRY by Mariyam Nadhrath

The Walk

It was a long silent road
I looked back yet again
and saw a woman walking low.

Where do you go?

I shook off dust
and pointed my finger towards the road ahead

That is your path?

I nodded. It was, wasn't it?

No child , it's not.

I looked up.

Your eyes watch the path you have walked.

I turned back at the footsteps I had left behind.

Look at them. Look...

In each footprint
I saw a tiny part of myself
Like fallen leaves, now separate from me.
A smile, a dream, a thought
trapped in the sand, and in time.

Go back, collect yourself

But I had come too far

You are where you were.

I looked back at the footsteps
Yes, my body had walked
But the soul...
Go, go, before the footprints fade
I turned back and walked
The footprints guided me back... to myself.

Yes, child! You were looking for yourself.

The Sail

I watched the horizon,
A familiar bitterness crawled up my soul.
A wrinkled hand touched my shoulder
Child, why do you not smile?
I tried to smile but forgot the way...
Child , what are you looking for?
A sail that will take me far
Why do you want to go?
To find happiness
Where will you go?
I don't know
You won't find happiness there
Why ever not?
You will take your misery there with you
And then you'll wait for another sail
What am I to do then?
Let go of misery,
go make your own sail
For days I worked on making a boat
I learned to live again
The boat was finished but there was no reason to run any more
Yes child, you found what you were looking for
It was there inside me all along, wasn't it?
Yes child, true happiness lies inside us
Why did I not see it before?
Child, we can only see it when we wipe misery from our eyes.

The Grass

I was crying
Crying for fate, for the World
and for. ..my self.
On my shoulder, somebody tapped.
The old woman,
she stared with wise eyes
Little boy, why do you cry?
I feel violated by probing eyes
I feel trapped by clutching chains
I feel soiled by deeds of others and my own.

My child, she said
Look into my eyes
What do you see?
I see pain.
I see fear.
She smiled
No, you see half the truth.
Look, she said.
Look at the grass.
She pointed to the once green land.
Hungry animal tongues violate it
Snow holds it in icy clutches
Dust and time soils its green smoothness.
In the grass I saw myself.
You know, she smiled
They will grow back
The shoots will spring up
New roots will support them
It will be green again.
Then I saw
Saw the hope behind the pain
Saw wisdom behind the fear
It made me cry even more
Yes, my child
Now you see the whole truth.
Cry today.
Let your tears be the spring rain
Tomorrow brings back the green
Make the end a new beginning.
 

The Shade

Some where far,
A peaceful tree swayed.
Under the sun she stood
Longingly looking at its shade.
An old woman touched her face.
"Child ? Why do you not go sit in the shade?"
"I have no need for shade." My answer was swift.
"Your skin is loosing colour …" ...an observation, a warning
"I do not care!" I stubbornly held her eyes.
She stared back.
"Ah! Your eyes tell a diferent story..." she smiled.
" The shade traps you."I blurted out in my defense.
"You have stayed under a tree before?" Her question was soft.
"Yes …" the memory was cruel...
" The shade had been good
but weight of the tree had chained my feet."

A light flicked in her eyes…
"...you left the tree and the shade
because you needed to walk the earth...feel the sun?"
 

Was it not the logical thing to do? I asked her ...and myself...
"No child! You need both the shade and the sun."
I looked at her ...what did she mean?
"You cannot live underthe sun forever….. it would be a lie you live"
"Yes !" I bowed my head.
"But I can't stay."
She laughed...
"No child you don't drag trees to keep in the shade.
You leave the tree and go out bravely…"
But isn't that what I have done? I asked her.
Yes… but you are now afraid to sit in the shade.
I didn't say anything….

"There is time to come into the shade…
And there is a time to go out in the sun…
All you need to know is that you have the courage"
Courage for what?
To know that you can do both
reach out for the shade
and … face the burning sun…
And then she was gone
I looked at the shady tree…
walked towards it and sat down
My skin cooled and the breeze warmed my heart…
I shall stay a while …just for a little while…and then go back again…
And this time
I won't have to carry the fear or the tree.
And so my shade will be with me…
In my heart…

My Wild Home

Dance with me in the rain from heaven
Explore with me, every joy forbidden
Ride with me where no man had ridden
Hold my hand as I reach down
To pluck flowers form a hidden alley.

Come away with me where sunshine starts
Walk with me, amidst burning deserts
Watch with me the merging of hearts
Hold my gaze as my eyes wonder
To find fire and water in a sleeping valley

Be the silent drummer that I follow
The single star that would guide and glow
The serpent, the phantom shadow
Hold my body as I give up my self
To the pleasures that I couldn't tarry

Be my wild ocean and my ship.
The reality I every day have to live
The secret dream to myself I give
Please be my wild place and my home
The place where I'd run to and where I belong...

Copyright MariyamNadhrath©2002
 

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