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They're not just from another time, they're from France. They Came. They Saw. They Wanna Go Back.
Cast | Formats | Notes | Pictures | Quotes | Rating the DVD | My Summary | My Review

Cast

Directed by Jean-Marie Gaubert
Written by Christian Clavier, Jean-Marie Poiré & John Hughes

Formats

VHS - NTSC/DVD R1/CD Soundtrack

DVD has the trailer and a featurette "The Magic Behind the Magic".

Notes

• French title - Les Visiteurs en Amérique

• American remake of the 1993 French comedy Les Visiteurs

• Theater release 4/6/01

• Tara Reid on Mtv TRL 4/9/01 to promote it.

• Video/DVD Release on 9/11/01

• Rated PG-13, 88 minutes

Pictures

Video Release Ad
Malcolm as the Wizard
Small darker Malcolm head shot
Presskit photo with 6 headshots including Malcolm
Presskit Cover
Promotional T-shirt
Movie Poster
Movie Theater Mylar Sign
DVD Cover - Front

Quotes

"The makeup, actually, more than the costume in that particular part - because I've got a bald pate with long, long white hair and a long white beard and a long white mustache, which actually feels like a lot of glue on my face, which it is, but it looks spectacular. You don't have to do a lot of acting, just a lot of believing." - Malcolm in Reel.com 9/99

Malcolm talks about the film

Rating the DVD

    It starts out right with widescreen, 5.1 channel sound, trailer and featurette, but that is it! Very disappointing in a 2001 release when companies shoot extras and save scenes just for DVD releases. The featurette clocks in at a pitiful 10 minutes and only a minute or so of Malcolm.

Sound 8.5
Picture 8.5
Extras 2
Overall 6

My Summary

    The film opens in the 12th century. Count Thibault  is on his way to England from France to marry Princess Rosalind. The Earl of Warwick does not want the French Count to marry into his English family. Since he can't kill him outright, the Earl goes to a witch. He tells her there is a great gold reward if she can pull off the Count's death. Before he gives her the money he wants proof she can handle the job. She casts a spell and a creature starts to come out of her black cauldron. It turns into a massive fire breathing dragon that fills the room! The dragon even singes the Earls hair. He gives her the money and runs out in fear, hitting his head on the door.
    The Count is traveling with his entire family and guard on horseback through the English woods when he hears a cry for help. A group of men are attacking a house and it's occupants. Thibault rides off the path to help them only barely followed by his pathetic servant André. This might be a trap by the Earl as the men have a rope to trip the Count off his horse. He then fights them on foot and the only help he receives is a warning from André.  After he vanquishes them he is back on the path to the castle. There is much celebrating when he arrives and he quickly finds Rosalind. They go off and she gives him a locket with her hair. They try to steal a kiss, but are reprimanded.
    That night is the wedding banquet. The nobles eat at the table and throw their scraps to the servants on the floor. The king announces the castle will go to Thibault on his marriage. This alone  is a good reason for the Earl to want him out of the picture. The witch is there dressed as a servant and she sneaks a potion into the Princesses' wine. When the toast is made she will see the Count as a demon and kill him. The Earl calls for the toast and it doesn't go according to plan. The princess asks Thibault to drink from her cup. When he does he sees everyone as monsters and winds up punching the Queen in the face and stabbing the Princess. By the time he realizes it was sorcery it is too late, the princess is dead. He tells André to find him a wizard before they lock him up.
    Thibault is locked in a high tower when André returns. He has brought an English Wizard, but tells the guards that he is a priest there to read the Count his last rites. The Count asks the Wizard to bring the Princess back, but he tells her she won't smell too good as an animated corpse. What he will do is send him back in time to right before she was killed so he can change what happened. The Wizard frantically mixes the potion while the guards outside are trying to break the door down. During the excitement André  steals a valuable relic while no one is looking. 
    The potion smells so bad that Thibault has André drink it first in case it is poison. Though it tastes horrible, he survives. The Count drinks it and turns into stone, then breaks. André's body disappears into his head and he bounces away. Now the Wizard needs to take something to make himself disappear as the guards break in. He reaches into his pouch and realizes he forgot the last ingredient of the potion. He must now go back to save them.
    The pair do not arrive back in time the day before, but instead arrive in Chicago in April 2000. The are in a medieval exhibit in the museum which features part of the old castle. A tour guide is explaining to a group of children about the master/servant relationship because André is on the floor and Thibault is on the bed. They think the pair are wax dummies and when they wake up the entire group runs out screaming. The Count cuts his way out of the display with his sword and André  follows. Byron the security guard sees this and goes to warn the curator Dr. Brady. Brady doesn't believe there are two guys in medieval garb with swords running around until he hears the children screaming. The visitors storm the elevator, but are scared stiff on the way down. In the parking garage they think they found a red dragon which is really a car and attack it, smashing it to bits. The police are called in and they arrest the pair who have returned to the exhibit to pray for forgiveness for using witchcraft.
    The police take all their belongings and show them to Dr. Brady. He calls in a woman, Julia, who is the expert of the period and the one who put together the exhibit where the pair arrived. Once she sees their possessions she knows immediately that they are not thieves like the police believe. Their possessions are worth a fortune as they are authentic 12th century items. A ring the Count was wearing even matches her family crest. Now she wants to see them since the police haven't taken them anywhere yet.
    Thibault is thrilled to see her as he thinks that she is his bride returned to save him. She has no idea what to make of them and leaves. The cops beat them and he speaks the Malfete family creed. Then she runs back in believing that he is her cousin who was lost in a yachting accident three years earlier. The cousin was very rich and Julia is the only heir to the estate. She and her fiancé Hunter, who calls her his bunny, are now in a quandary. They are in the process of selling off the estate she inherited and now think that since he is back they will lose it. We also see that Hunter is only with Julia for the money as he is with his girlfriend Amber at work when Julia calls him. When he gets his hands on the money he will leave Julia for her. Hunter decides to come over and pick them up so they can figure out what to do. Meanwhile Thibault sees a timeline and a calendar on the wall and realizes the Wizard has screwed up.
    Julia takes custody of the pair and goes to take them outside and they freak out. The planes, cars, horns, construction and all the other sounds overwhelm them and they run back inside. She gets them back out and into Hunter's car. The visitors call it a metal chariot and the Count tells André to run behind the car. Julia and Hunter tell him that isn't possible. André insists he can run very fast and has good boots and besides, the Count says he isn't worthy anyway.
    When they finally convince them to get in the car they are forced to drive very slow because the visitors can't take the speed. They go down to 22 mph and all the other cars are passing them and flipping them off. André can't take it anymore and pukes in Hunter's briefcase. They pull up to Julia's house and André can't get out - he pounds on the window and Hunter has to let him out. Julia takes them inside to get them something to eat while Hunter vacuums out his briefcase. Next door, Angelique the gardener, smiles at André and compliments his hat.
    When Julia turns on the lights the visitors are in shock at this magic. A switch that can make day turn to night and night to day. Everything they do goes wrong. André sprays Julia with the sink hose, makes ice cubes spill out of the ice cube maker, shakes a can of soda and opens it into his face, falls on the floor and eats the dog food. The Count hits a switch and gets Julia covered with a protein shake in the mixer by the time Hunter comes in. They go upstairs to talk about it and Julia leads the pair to the bathroom to wash up.
    They are amazed at the throne in there that produces the clean water - the toilet. They wash and drink the water in it and use the long scented towels to dry up - the toilet paper. Hunter sees this and calls Julia down to deal with it. She gets them out of there and up to the bathroom with the tub. She starts filling it and goes back to cleaning up. Hunter has made reservations at the fanciest French restaurant in town since Thibault is supposed to be a rich nobleman. Julia figures it should be okay and they get dressed.
    Thibault goes in the tub first and André starts pouring everything in the bath, dyes, toilet bowl cleaner and even a $2000 bottle of Channel No. 5. He even lets André take a bath in his old water. Hunter is not happy about the money wasted on the cologne, but Thibault says he will repay him. Thibault finds a chart with his family tree and other things in the study before Julia comes down. When Thibault sees Julia all dressed up he compliments her on her beauty and she doesn't know what how to respond and he teaches her to courtesy.
    When they arrive at the restaurant the valet has to let André out. Of course the dinner is a disaster. André eats on the floor and only the scraps that Thibault throws to him. Thibault has little eating manners as well and they are forced to put André at the table when management complains. André grabs at all the food and dessert on the trays as it goes by to get into even more trouble. Then he announces he has to pee and Thibault tells him to go outside. André is afraid the wolves will get him and he tells him to take a torch. André then leaves and pulls lights out of the walls to take with him. When this doesn't work he finds his way into the bathroom, not knowing what it is. He loves the blue fountains (urinals) and uses the water and pulls out the urinal cake with its' forest scent. Another man in the bathroom just wants to get away from him, but André wants him to smell the cake. On the way out he finds an umbrella which he thinks is a sword. He then finds his way into the kitchen and skewers a whole uncooked chickened and then proceeds to cook it in the fireplace in the lobby. The manager chases him away and is forced to put it out.
    He runs back to the table with his urinal cake, trying to pretend he is innocent. Hunter tells the manager to just put the chicken and umbrella on his bill. When Thibault tells Julia she is family and whatever he has is hers, Hunter is happy. He asks if that means she can have all the property she inherited. He says of course. Then Hunter proceeds to tell him what they are going to do with the land and his stuff. He tells her it isn't up to him, only to Julia. He says he speaks for both of them. Thibault says he does not. Julia is impressed and decides to change her mind and hold on to the property a bit longer much to Hunter's shock.
    On the way out André offers everyone the mint he found in the blue fountain and everyone enjoys it, except for Julia. Hunter even wants seconds! When they get home Thibault tells Julia they need straw for the floor so André can sleep. She instead gives him his own bed which he doesn't like because it is too soft. When Thibault sits on the bed he accidentally turns on the TV and thinks there are people trapped in it. He and André then proceed to attack the TV trying to get the people out. When they get to the inside the TV blows up and they feel they failed to rescue them.
    The next day the Wizard has found a way to get back and he appears in the same exact spot where the visitors arrived in the museum and Byron once again witnesses this. The Wizard goes out and buys himself a cowboy hat and boots and all new clothes. He gets a suitcase and buys all kinds of chemicals and sets up shop in a local hotel. He is enjoying all the new technology in a way Thibault would never understand.
    Thibault heads out to find a Wizard, not knowing that their wizard is already there. André sees the man next door yelling at Angelique and confronts him. He pulls his knife on him and forces him to apologize and kiss her feet. When Thibault sees this he confronts him and sees the man has crests on his tie and declares him a nobleman and Angelique his servant. He says he will hang André by his thumbs because of this shame. Julia objects and the Count agrees to let Angelique have him for the day and beat him if he wishes. They leave and André learns from Angelique about what it means to be free and he doesn't understand. He is a servant and Thibault is his master. She tries to convince him he can't be legally hung and he should proclaim his freedom. When André shows him the treasure he stole, she takes him to a pawn shop and pries off a ruby from it and gets $25,000 for it. They hit the town and buy him new clothes, lots of food and go dancing.
    Meanwhile Julia shows the Count the L train and other sights. She puts a sticker on him with her phone number in case they get lost. When a thief grabs her purse, Thibault catches him and goes to chop off his hand. All the people on the street begin to flip out and when he thinks he sees a witch he tells them to hang him from the town square. It turns out to not be a witch, but a gothic chick. He then sees a building called the Castle Bar with a coat of arms and heads toward it hoping to find a wizard there. When Julia turns around to look for him he is gone and has no idea where to look to for him.
    She returns to the museum only to find out the Wizard has shown up. There is a locket on the bedpost in the exhibit that wasn't there before with a note inside that reveals the hotel room where the Wizard is. Right after there is a phone call for her. Someone from the bar has called to tell her that Thibault is there. Hunter has other plans though. He pays a detective to find out if Thibault is really the lost cousin. He gives him the Channel bottle to fingerprint.
    Meanwhile at the bar, Thibault announces he is looking for a wizard. The drunks there mock him and one man wants to duel him with a pool cue. Thibault hacks his cue up and throws him aside. He would cut up him for his insolence, but instead decides to buy a round for the bar. Suddenly they all like him calling him Sir Lancelot. He tries to explain who he really is, but they don't understand. By the time Julia gets there he is drunk and they are all singing old French songs. Julia tries to get him to leave, but no one wants him to go. He tells her she must sing first, but she will not. Once she tells him she has found a wizard, he decides it is time to leave.
    The hotel where the Wizard is staying is only a few blocks away. When they arrive the Wizard has already set up shop. There are all kinds of potions and glass beakers cooking up many different colored liquids. With all that has gone on Julia finally starts to believe the Count. 
    Thibault wants to strangle the Wizard for getting everything screwed up in the first place. The Wizard tells him the potion will be ready to go tomorrow and they can all go back to the right spot in the past. As Julia and Thibault are leaving they hear a massive explosion and see debris falling down everywhere. They run back up to the Wizard only to find he has blown himself up. All that remains are his hat and boots. Thibault falls into a depression as he realizes he will never be able to return to his own time.
    Amber is tired of having to sneak around with Hunter all the time, so he agrees to take her dancing. The club they go to is the Troubadour, which happens to be the same club that Angelique and André have gone to. When someone knocks over a waitresses' tray he gets wet and leaves and André  goes to help her. She is upset and he grabs a napkin and starts spinning around telling the waitress not to be a servant. André then begins to lead a line dancing around the floor which many people start grabbing on. Someone grabs Amber and she loses her purse and when Angelique sees them she questions Hunter about her. She says Amber is his sister and rushes her out of there. André grabs her purse, but she is already gone.
    Thibault and Julia are walking home and he tells her how strong she is. She doesn't agree and he shows her how to defend herself. He takes his sword and rams it through a refrigerator in an alley then hands her the sword. At first she can't do it, but eventually gets the hang of it.
    Angelique brings André home and tells him to leave his master so the can travel the world together. He admits that day has been the most fun ever, but can't leave his master. She tells him to just say that he quits. He tells her she is a great lady and she tells him with a few changes he can be a great man. When they go inside Angelique tells Thibault that André has something to tell him, but André loses his nerve and Angelique leaves in disgust.
    The next day the police have finished cleaning up the hotel room where the Wizard was staying. A cop explains they couldn't scrape the parts off the floor. In the room we see the Wizard's body parts have solidified all across the room. Suddenly his eyes open and he calls the parts together and comes back to life. He then sets off to find Thibault. Meanwhile the detective reveals that Thibault is not the cousin and Hunter rushes home with the news.
    The Wizard finds the the visitors at Julia's house and tells them that he is ready to take them back. The only thing is that they need to go to the spot where they came in. André decides he doesn't want to go back because his father is a drunk, his mother is a whore and he has nothing to return to - but here is he someone. Thibault is not happy because André is his property, but Julia insists it is OK. André leaves to tell Angelique, before he does he gives Julia Amber's purse saying it belongs to Hunter's sister. She is upset because he has no sister. Soon after Hunter arrives and explains the Count isn't the cousin. She throws the purse at him and Thibault says he will kill him for her. Hunter says since the Count is a fake that he has called the police. Julia takes the Count's sword and sticks it in Hunter's face. Instead of cutting him she puts it in the sheath and slams it into his nuts and Thibault throws him out the door. The police are almost there and the trio sneaks out the back and catches a cab. It doesn't take long for the police to realize they got away and begin chasing the cab. Julia bribes the driver by explaining to him if they get caught she'll say he was a hostage. He says "now you're talking" and takes off. The lead car chasing them crashes and he lets them out soon after. Thibault and the Wizard knock two cops off their horses and take the horses. Julia jumps on with the Count and they split up, meeting back on at the Museum. Thibault takes them down the street and hurdles over a road block, up stairs and onto the train. The police aren't in time to stop them.
    Thibault crashes through the glass window of the museum and the Wizard is right behind them. They ride up to the exhibit to the shock of most patrons and send the horses off. The Wizard mixes the potion and Thibault gives Julia the locket of hair Rosalind gave him. She gives him her hair clip to give to his bride. He tells her not to worry, she is strong and will find someone as she is a Malfete. The pair drink up and melt away as one stunned museum group watches.
    The visitors arrive back at the castle during the banquet, but everyone has turned to stone and weeds have grown over them. Thibault goes up and kisses Rosalind and time comes back to normal. This time during the toast Thibault offers the cup to the Earl to put aside their differences. The Earl backs off and Thibault follows. Eventually the Earl jumps out of the window instead of drinking the wine. The Count remarks that if he didn't like the wine he should've said so and everyone laughs. When he is alone with Rosalind he gives her the clip as a gift from the Lady Julia.
    Back in the 21st century, Julia heads to England to stay with the castle she has inherited. The caretaker is thrilled that she has decided to keep it and will give her a tour. Then the young French lawyer of the estate shows up as he is an expert on the history of the place. He would be delighted to show her around and you can tell there are sparks between them.
    Meanwhile André and Angelique have a new sports car and are heading toward Las Vegas, presumably to get married. The End

My Review

    This is a time travel movie, but Terminator 2 it is not. Malcolm fans will enjoy it because it is along the lines of Time after Time as it is a light story of people living out of their time and trying to adjust. The main difference is that Time After Time was a 100 year difference and Malcolm had the leading role and this film is over 500 years and Malcolm had a small role.
    Even though it totally bombed in the theater, this is a fun movie. I haven't read one bad review and I think many people went in expecting the worst. I avoided it at the theater myself because the trailers looked so awful. 
    While Malcolm doesn't have a big role, it is an important one. He basically pops up every 10-20 minutes for a scene. He has crazy make up with a bald head and a beard and mustache that are two feet long. Like André, he really enjoys the future. Maybe because they have more now than they did then.
    The Wizard of the future has a crazy taste in clothes. He buys a big cowboy hat; red, white and blue cowboy boots and denim jeans. When a man with a boom box passes him on the street he even does a little dance move - his biggest laugh in the film. It would've been upsetting if when he blew up that he was gone for good. Thankfully he was able to pull himself back together. There was no explanation as to how his body turned into metal all of a sudden, especially when they clearly showed his hat and boots as normal after the explosion. No big deal as I was initially upset that Malcolm had a real micro role if he was gone from the film in the middle. Also it was a bit hokey that he just takes right to everything in the future and nothing bothers him. It is a stark contrast to the reactions of the Count and his servant.
    He seems to have had fun with the role, really playing it wacky. He has played a wizard, Merlin,  in the past semi-seriously, but this is mostly over the top. The only problem is the giant beard hides most of his face so he can't make his classic facial expressions with his mouth that he does so well. I wish he had much more screen time and a little more back story. He is just brought in as an unknown, all we really learn is that he knows what he is doing, but is a bit clumsy in that he screws up twice. Well...at least he didn't die in the film.
    Christina Applegate has changed so much since her days as Kelly Bundy that it is shocking. It is almost impossible to recognize her as she is a woman now. She did fine in her roles, but nothing exciting, nothing moving.
    Jean Reno isn't familiar to most Americans, except as the killer in "The Professional." This is a far stretch from that character, so it really shows him as a versatile actor.
    Christian Clavier plays the bumbling sidekick very well. When he becomes liberated, he still stays true to the character and doesn't do a complete 360 degree turn so it is believable.
    Tara Reid has a small role and plays the semi-dopey typical youth well. This is also the first time I remember seeing George Plimpton since his famous Intellivision commercials from 20 years ago, boy is he looking old.
    There are a bit too many toilet jokes going for the gross out, especially when any situation would have humor in it, but it is still funny and doesn't go too far. Though the scene of the group eating the urinal cake and Hunter liking it was pretty disgusting, like anyone would enjoy a urine soaked mothball block and not recognize that nasty pine scent!? 
    If you are going to watch it solely for Malcolm you will be a bit bored as he only has 10 minutes or less screen time. Check it out anyway, it is a good light, fun comedy, especially in these dark times of war. One interesting thing was the trailer on the DVD has Malcolm in it while the one that originally played all over the TV did not.

Rating: 8.5/10

Images © Touchtone Pictures 2001
Everything else © 2001-08 Alex D. Thrawn for www.MalcolmMcDowell.net