Santa and Banta work in a software company. One day, they were to move their
m/cs to another building. Santa was having a tough time carrying his machine.
Santa : "My m/c has 500 MB disk. See how easily I am carrying it. Yours
has just 250 MB. Can't you carry even this much?"
Banta : "But yours is empty and my disk is full"!!!
DOCTOR
A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what
had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the
phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the
iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what
happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back.
FORM
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he the column SEX. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK. On seeing this in his appln. form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again our sardar thought for a long time before coming up with the answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.
HONDA CHALAYA KYA
One day
there was a Bihari going in a Fiat Car at 45KMPH on a high way and
enjoying his drive.Suddenly a Sardaji came Booiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn on a
Honda and peeped into the car and
shouted at the Bihari - 'Kabhi honda chalaya kya?' and sped
off.... The Bihari was surprised but he did not bother.After
some time the Sardarji came Booiiiinnnnnnnnnn... in the opposite
direction, peeped into the car and shouted again ' kabhi honda
chalaya kya?' and sped off,This time the Bihari was annoyed , since
the sardar was teasing about his driving. After some time again the Sardar
came back speeding and said the same thing peeping into the car . The
Bihari was about to say something but the Sardar sped off.This time the
Bihari increased his speed but suddenly stopped as he found
the Sardar lying on the road, bleeding. He got down and mocked
at the sardar ' Kyon Sardarji , Kabhi Honda Chalaye kya?' The sardar
said ' Wohi to puch raha tha’ ................ ,Brakes kahaan hain dhoond
raha tha'!
CHORI
A Master Thief in London was giving a Coaching Class on Stealing and had
students from all over the world. The Indian happened to be a Sardar. After
several grueling classes on Theory came the final and decisive class of all, a
practical demo. The master took all his pupils to a house nearby in the
darkness of night and entered that. But by mistake he overturns a vase.
Owner : Who's that?
Master: Miaooow...
The owner is satisfied and goes back to sleep. Mission accomplished. The sardar
is very impressed. Returning to Punjab, he decides to open a similar class for
his fellow sardars. Does so and follows the same schedule of theory classes.
Then he goes for the demo with his pupils. Enters the house of a rich sardar in
darkness, and tells the other sardars, " This are the various steps for
stealing. You just observe. "
Firstly, he goes and overturns a vase.
Owner : Koun Hai ? ( Who's that ? )
Sardar : Mai Billi . ( I am the cat.)
Owner : Oh, Billi ( Oh. Cat. )
and goes back to sleep.
SAREES
& DAUGHTERS
Santa
Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport size
photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently,the photograph fell
down from his pocket.
When
Santa tried to pick it up the photograph slipped under a woman's saree. He
asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph"
The
rest is history.
He was
beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital.
He was
surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next to him,in a worse condition. Banta
explained what happened to him He had gone to a remote village to work. He
finished late and missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel.
So he
approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the
night.The Owner replied"I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry,I can't allow
you to stay".
He
approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night.The
Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to
stay".
He went
to the next house and asked:" Do you have "grown up"
Daughters?".
The
Owner asked,"WHY?????????"
Banta
replied," I wanted to stay here for a night....."
The
rest is history.
PARACHUTE
EK baar
ek plane mein ek muslim, ek hindu, ek sardar aur ek american ja rahe hain.
Suddenly plane ka ek engine goes bad. So everybody is advised to jump. But they
find out that there are no parachutes on the plane.
Sardar
being a little bold sochta hai saale marna to hai hi why not try something, vo
apni turban kholta hai aur dono ends pakad ke jump laga deta hai. Luckily idea
kaam kar jaata hai aur vo float karne lag jaata hai.
Seeing
this hindu pandit also opens his dhoti and does the same, he also starts
floating. Now Muslim also removes his kurta and does the same and he too starts
floating. Now comes American's turn Poor chap is wearing a torn Bermudas and a
tattered baniyan type T-shirt. Anyway he also removes them ties everything up
and jumps.
Now he
starts falling very quickly.
On the
way to the ground he passes the Mohammedan, Who says "Allah tumhari khair
kare", then he passes Pandit. Pandit says "Bhagwan tumhari raksha
kare".
Now
when he quickly passes Sardar, Sardar says "accha race lagana hai, to
le" and he lets go of the turban.
TRAIN DRIVER
One train which was going peacefully on the rail-trackssuddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearbyand then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station thedriver was caught : He was found to be a Sardar . He was questioned . He explained that therewas a man standing on the tracks and he was not movingfrom there even after lots of honks etc . Then authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad! just tosave life of one person you put life of so many passengersunder danger.You should have overran that person . Sardar said : Exactly, that is what i also decided, but this idiot
started running towards the
field when the train came very close.